I'll Make You Believe
by dontcryMasha
Summary: AU. After Logan Mitchell lost his family and eyesight, he became depressed and isolated, relying only on hired help for social interaction. But James, his newest aid, decides to go a little above and beyond the call of duty and give Logan a life worth living. Jagan. Kenlos.
1. New Help

_It was a cold evening in January. My father, mother, sister and I were on our way home from a late hockey game. I was only 8 years old, but my memory of it is very solid. _

_'Pilovich played real well tonight,' my dad said._

_Mom agreed, but my sister was too fixated on her phone to notice what they were talking about. I pressed my nose against the glass of the window and watched the dark world pass by. A plush polar bear, the mascot of our ice hockey team, was clutched to my chest. _

_As we drove through an intersection, I saw a big SUV run the red light in the other direction and come soaring at us. My mom let out a scream, but it all happened so suddenly that nobody had a chance to really react at all._

_I lost consciousness for a moment and when I came to, my body was hurting all over and the inside of our car was all messed up. I could still see. The air smelled strange and some of the doors were stuck open, filling my ears with that buzz they make. My head was searing with pain, (I later learned that I had suffered a concussion) and there was blood on me from something._

_'Logan…' my sister whispered. I looked over at her and saw her bloodied face, twisted by the inside of the door. She did her best to point to her cellphone, which had flown close to me. 'Ca…call 9-11.'_

_I reached forward and struggled to take her phone in my hands. My head was swimming, swirling and aching, but I managed to grab it. I flipped it open and punched in the emergency numbers. It was difficult for me to tell the dispatcher exactly what had happened, but I did, and they sent the emergency response vehicles for us. I looked at my sister, but it appeared she wasn't breathing anymore. I unhooked my seatbelt and crawled up to the front of the car. My mom was still in her seat, and I shook her shoulder. 'Mama,' I said. 'Mama wake up.' She didn't move. I reached forward to her face and turned it towards me. It was unrecognizable; nothing but smashed up bone and contorted, bloody flesh. I passed out again._

_The next thing I remember, I was outside and someone was carrying me. The polar bear was in my hands._

_'It's gonna be alright,' a male voice reassured me. 'I'm Officer Drew, and I'm gonna take you over to the EMTs, okay?'_

_'Ok,' I agreed quietly._

_'Can you see me, little dude?' _

_'No.'_

_'Always been blind?'_

_'No…'_

_'Alright, well you're gonna take this ambulance down to the hospital, alright? They'll have a look at you and it'll be fine.'_

_'Where is mama?' I asked. He didn't answer and handed me off to the EMTs._

* * *

The doorbell rang, just as Logan expected. He ran his finger along the side of the wall, as usual, until he got to the door. He opened it and was greeted by a very friendly voice.

"Mr. Mitchell?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"I'm your new aid. Replacing your old aid. Haha…well, of course. You know."

"Yup, I was expecting you," said Logan. "Come in."

He led the new aid inside and to the living room, where he offered him a seat.

"What's your name?" Logan asked.

"James."

"Oh, okay. It's nice to meet you, James. You can just call me Logan."

"No problem. Hey, the place looks great."

"That's just Martha, my old aid. I think she was doing a good job."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?" James asked. "The basically told me nothing about you, except your name, address, and that you're blind."

"She's moving, that's all. Quit 'cause of moving." Logan took a seat on his sofa and did his best to settle in. "So I guess you have a lot of questions for me?"

"Not a lot, but some, sure." James was surprised at how young Logan was. And handsome. "Could you tell me about yourself? Like, were you born blind?"

"No, it was an accident. Actually, they don't know what made me go blind. I could see after the crash, but _then _I lost it. I was 8."

"Oh wow. So you've never seen anything after that?" James asked. He was used to hearing sad stories, but it was hard to imagine never seeing yourself grow up.

"Nope, not at all," Logan answered. "I lost my whole family, too."

"Oh, my God. I'm sorry."

"Moved in with my aunt, but then _she _died."

"Oh no! Oh, gosh Logan. I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay. Now I just live in this apartment and take the company of my aids."

"Well I plan on being here for a long time," James said. "I was automatically signed up for a year. How long do they usually last?"

"Yah about a year."

"Good. So what kind of help do you need?"

"Not a whole lot. Mostly basic things. Obviously if I was so incapacitated, I would need more than just three hours a day, right?"

"Haha yeah, that's true!" James agreed.

"I don't leave the house ever," Logan said.

"Not at all?"

"Never ever. I haven't left in ten years. My doctors all make house calls, and other than my blindness I'm very healthy."

"So I'll be going to the store for you."

"Yeah, basically. Groceries, cooking, cleaning. I guess that's about it. I can wash, dress and do all that other stuff on my own. I could probably even go outside if I wanted to. It just scares me. I have a lot of nerve damage, too."

"Oh…"

"So do you want a tour?"

"Sure!"

"You've probably noticed that I have very few decorations," Logan said as he tried to stand up. He carefully walked to the wall and placed his fingertips along the molding in the middle. "Martha put some pictures maybe, but I obviously can't tell. I move around along the walls, so there aren't any tables in the way or nothing. Does it look strange in here?"

"No, I'd say it seems very normal," James said, and he meant it. Of course the apartment was very plain, but it wasn't obviously a blind person's residence. He followed Logan into the hallway.

"Over here is my bedroom, and here is the bathroom," Logan said. "This is a towel closet."

"It's a neat little place," said James.

Logan smiled and walked back to the kitchen. "I don't know where the pots and stuff are kept, so you'll have to figure it out on your own. I just know the fridge and the microwave. I keep the silverware in a caddy on the counter."

"No problem."

"I try to be as tidy as possible. I hate feeling dirty. So I usually even try to do the dishes myself."

"Good job," said James.

"I guess that's about it. The place is small. It's easy."

"Cool. So what do you need?"

"Well, Martha already did the shopping for the week, so you don't need to go to the store or anything. Usually they'll make three meals at a time. Dinner for today, then tomorrow's breakfast and lunch stored in the fridge. Is that reasonable?"

"Definitely," said James. "The last job I did was an elderly man who needed round the clock care. I worked with him from 8 in the morning until 6 at night, Tuesday through Saturday."

"Wow! No, I'm not that complicated!" Logan said with a laugh.

"You've got dimples, you know that?" James asked.

"I do?"

"Yeah. They show up when you laugh."

Logan touched his hand to his own face and smiled. "I guess you're right," he said.

"Should I start cooking?" James offered.

"Sure if you want. Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Go right ahead. I wouldn't want to keep you uncomfortable. What do you want?"

"I basically have the same thing every week. There should be a list on the side of the fridge."

James walked over to the refrigerator and found the paper Logan described. It was a typed up paper which listed each meal for the week. Tonight was pasta. James opened up the cupboards until he found a large pot. He filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil.

"So do you have any friends?" James asked.

"Nope."

"Really?"

"Just my aid."

"You only get three hours of social interaction every day?" James asked. He wasn't trying to sound rude, but Logan's living situation just seemed sad. He felt terrible for him.

"Yeah that's all."

"Do you want more?"

"Kinda, but I don't want to leave."

"Well, alright," James said. He took a box of pasta shells out from a lazy Susan and placed them upon the counter. The water wasn't even warm yet. James was starting to create a plan in his mind; maybe he could eventually persuade Logan into going outside. He was a young guy! He must hunger for a social life.

"What do you do when your aid isn't here?" James asked.

"I listen to a lot of audiobooks."

"Oh, neat! Like what?"

"Right now I'm going through _For One More Day_ by Mitch Albom. It's good."

"I've heard of him, but never read anything."

Now the water was boiling. James poured the pasta into it and stirred. "Do you take sauce or anything with the pasta?"

"Just butter and salt. Literally the list will tell you want goes on it. If it says pasta, it's just pasta."

"Alright, cool. That's easy. Are you ready to eat soon?"

"Yeah. Could you stay and have some with me?"

"Of course. There's still plenty of time." He stayed by the pasta and stirred it occasionally as the water bubbled up around it. Logan was sitting on the sofa, completely content, staring at nothing. After having worked with so many old people, this new guy was a real breath of fresh air for James. He couldn't help but notice how cute he was, too. He wondered if Logan had any sexual preference. Were relationships even something he thought about?

"Here we go," said James. "Where do you like to eat?"

"There are stools along the counter. Do you seem them?" Logan stood up and made his way to the outer wall of the kitchen. He took up a stool and placed himself down on it. James came around and put a plate in front of him.

"Anything to drink?" James asked.

"No thank you. But there's juice and milk if you want anything."

"Thanks." James plopped down beside Logan with a fork in his hand.

"Okay, so tell me about yourself," Logan said.

"Hehe, well, obviously my name is James. James Diamond, actually. I'm 25. I take night classes at the community college, just trying to get a basic degree slowly."

"Cool. You have a family?"

"Mom and dad, yeah, but that's it."

"Must be nice."

"Eh…"

"Girlfriend?"

"No," James said quickly. He took a bite of the pasta and glanced at Logan, who of course didn't see him. Instead, he stared at nothing and ate the food contently.

"Okay," Logan said plainly. "What do you look like?"

"If it matters, I'm white, 6'1", I work out a lot. Brown hair, hazel eyes. I dunno. Why?"

"Just trying to get a good picture of you in my head. What do _I _look like?"

"You? What do you look like?"

"Uh huh!" Logan smiled real cute and turned to face James.

"You have dark hair. Fairish skin. Kind of a square jawline, nice build." James felt a little awkward describing him, trying his best to not point out the adorable features of Logan's face. "Why?"

"I ask all of my aids how I look. Everyone has a different impression, but most of it is similar."

"You gotta have some idea of what you look like," James said. "I mean, you saw yourself as a kid."

"Yeah but I'm big now. I could have changed a whole lot." Suddenly, Logan sounded sad. He poked at the shells with his fork but didn't eat any.

"Are you okay?" James asked softly.

"Uh huh," Logan sighed. "Sorry, I get depressed a whole lot. It's alright."

"Awww, no, it's not alright." James patted Logan on the shoulder. "You outta be happy with your life."

"Mmmm," the blind boy mumbled. He quickly finished the food and insisted on taking the plate to the sink himself. "I feel better if I can accomplish small tasks on my own."

"That's good. You should feel good about yourself." James took the rest of the dishes and followed him to the kitchen. "So I guess I'll prepare breakfast and lunch then be on my way, right?"


	2. Old Dreams

The next day at the same time, James returned to Logan's apartment. He let himself in, since Logan gave him his key earlier, and announced his entrance.

"Logan! I'm here!"

"Hi James!" Logan called out from the bedroom.

James followed the voice down the hall and stopped at the threshold to his room. He must have just come out of the shower and had a towel around his waist. James stayed silent but continued to look. How did Logan have such a great body? His skin was so smooth and muscular, and his back arched perfectly down to his waist. He took off his towel and James looked away quickly. The desire to spy was strong, but it just wasn't right to peep that much. His face turned bright red and he went back towards the kitchen. There were some dirty dishes in the sink that he began to wash up.

"Sorry about that," Logan said. He was headed down the hallway now. "I thought I had a little more time."

"No worries," James said quickly. "How are you today?"

"Eh. I'm okay."

"Just okay?" He peered over at Logan while he scrubbed out a plastic container. The shorter boy was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, now fully dressed but looking exhausted.

"Didn't sleep well last night," said Logan.

"Ahhh, that sucks. How come?"

"Bad dreams."

"Awww."

James placed the last of the dishes onto the drying rack, then popped over to the fridge and checked the food plan. Dinner tonight was eggs.

"Do you ever get tired of eating the same thing, every week?" James asked.

"Kinda. Could you pour me a glass of juice please?"

"Sure no problem." James took a plastic bottle of cranberry juice out and put some into a short glass. He handed it to Logan carefully. "Got it?"

"Yup. Thank you."

"At any rate," James continued. He returned the juice and took a carton of eggs out now. "Have you considered changing the menu?"

"I have," said Logan. He finished the juice and put the glass down on the counter, making sure that it was far enough back from the edge. "But it's just easier for the aid if it stays the same."

"Really? It's all about convenience for your helper?"

"Yeah. I hate sounding selfish. You know, it happens anyway. Someone here just to take care of me. I sort of really hate how self-centered it makes me seem."

"That's just silly," James said with a little laugh. He found a pan and set it on the stovetop. The previous aid had kept the cupboards very well organized. "You need someone to help you, it's not because you're lazy and you just feel like it."

"Uh huh, I know, but still." Logan frowned and stepped towards James. "I don't want to hassle them too much."

"Making different food is no problem," said James. "What if _I _changed the menu?"

Logan pressed his lips together in thought. If James suggested it, obviously Logan couldn't feel bad about making him go out of his way for him. He folded his hands together and nodded, smiling. "If that's what you want, I would appreciate it."

"I really like to make the most of my jobs," James explained. He cracked a few eggs into the pan but kept looking over at Logan from time to time. He really was adorable, even with his weird looking eyes. His skin was flawless and all of his features suited him very well. James was very, very fortunate that _he _could see, or else this magnificent beauty of a man would go unknown for him. He wondered how Logan felt. It was interesting how he asked what James looked like. What did he think?

"That's cool that you're so into it," Logan said. "I wish I had a job to be involved with."

"I'm sure there's something you could do if you really wanted to. Ever considered that?"

"Yeah, but you know I won't leave." Logan touched his hand against the wall and followed it around to the outside of the kitchen. He sat down on one of the stools and put his head in his hands.

"What's so scary about going outside, anyway?" James asked. He turned off the heat on the stove and plated the eggs.

"Everything. I've just been terrified of everything out there. I'm scared I'll die if I leave."

"You could die in here, too," James said. "Not trying to worry you or anything, but it's true."

"I know," Logan said with a shy smile. James placed the eggs down in front of him and handed him a fork.

"Need anything else?" the aid asked.

"I'm fine, thank you. Oh, and James?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you go downstairs and get the mail for me, please?"

"Sure, of course."

"There should be a key hanging on a hook by the front door. A tiny key with a round tag."

James left the kitchen and went to the door. There was a coat rack along one side of the wall, and the key that Logan described as hanging there beside a baseball cap.

"Mail room is somewhere on the first floor," Logan said. "The boxes are labeled like the apartment numbers."

"No problem. I'll be right back!" James left the building and took the elevator downstairs. He stepped out and followed the little metal sign that said, "MAIL" and an arrow. A dip in the hallway lead to a room filled with small boxes. He found Logan's apartment number, snatched up the stack of mail and returned to the fourth floor.

"Looks like it's mostly ads," James said as he stepped back inside.

"I'm not surprised," said Logan. He had finished his dinner and put the plate in the sink, and now he was sitting in the living room.

"There are a few cards, though," James added.

"Oh yeah? Could you open them and read them to me please?"

"Of course." James plopped down beside Logan on the sofa and tore open the first of the letters. "This one is from Steven Kreutz, MD. The front has a picture of a little bird with a balloon tied to its leg. 'Happy Birthday Logan! Wishing you many more. Sincerely, Doctor Kreutz.' Is it your birthday soon?"

"Yeah, tomorrow," Logan said very plainly.

"Really? Do you want anything special?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"Yeah," Logan said with a shrug.

"Any of your other helpers ever done anything for it?"

"Nope."

"Wow, that's not fair."

"Oh I don't care. They're paid to help me out, not be my friend."

"Yeah, but still…" James looked at the next card and started to open it. "Your birthday is special."

"Doesn't seem special to me." Logan sighed and snuggled further back into the sofa. James smiled sadly.

"This one is from Tessa Robertson," he said, now looking at the card. "The front has a little felt cake glued to it. Here, touch it."

James held the card out to Logan, who carefully put his fingers over it and made small circles. He smiled like a little kid as he felt over the cake.

"That's cool, huh?" James asked. Logan nodded.

"What does it say?"

"'Dear Logan, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Love, Tessa.' Who is Tessa?"

"A friend of my mom's who I basically don't remember."

"That's sweet of her to remember your birthday."

"Yeah…" Logan sounded melancholy.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

"I don't like getting older."

"Why's that?"

"Don't like time going by."

"Well, it's gonna happen," James said. He put the cards aside and paged through the rest of the mail. Nothing else seemed terribly interesting. "Is there anything you've always wanted to do, but never had the chance to?"

"Oh my God, like a million things of course," Logan said with a smile. He moved over a little closer to his aid.

"Like what?" James asked, feeling some delight rise up inside him as Logan became happier.

"I had big dreams when I was little," Logan went on to explain. "I wanted to travel. Go to Europe. Take a cruise. Become a writer."

"A writer, huh?"

"Yeah. Can't really happen now."

"Why not?"

"I can't write."

"You can talk, though."

"I used to dictate journal entries to Martha, but it takes a long time for her to write. It's just not the same."

The idea of Logan's journal piqued James's interest. He wondered what sort of things Logan would talk about.

"Do you still have the journal?" James asked.

"Yeah, but it's been months since we wrote in it."

"Oh, I see."

"I really wanted to be a poet," Logan said.

"A poet? You still can do that."

"I guess. I dunno. I've read so many nice poems, I thought that maybe I could do that, too."

"Have any favorites? I'm not really a poetry kinda guy, but I guess I could learn to appreciate almost anything."

"Uh huh. There are some that Martha and Edward, the aid before her, put together. If you go into my bedroom, there is one bookshelf in the corner. I never touch it, so I couldn't tell you exactly where, but there should be a binder with collected poems in it."

James got up and went back to Logan's room. As described, a single bookshelf sat close to the ground in the furthest corner, next to a window that had dark curtains over it. Just a few books sat on its three shelves. There was a binder marked, "Poetry," which James took out. He flapped it open once, but soon realized that it wasn't other people's poems; it was some that Logan had written. They were hand printed in neat cursive, probably from Martha. James couldn't help but look at a few.

_There is no light here, in my world_

_A land covered by shadow_

_I journey here, alone, without a trace_

_And I leave no sound behind._

James sighed to himself as he read on, and it occurred to him that Logan must be extremely lonely in his little world. He wondered how it would feel to lose his vision, and all hope for a future. It didn't have to be that way. Logan could have a better life.

_Every person has a someone:_

_Someone to come home to,_

_Someone to talk to,_

_Someone to feel special with._

_But I only have a no one._

_No one to come home to,_

_No one to talk to,_

_No one to feel special with._

_What sort of life is this?_

_Where is he?_

"Did you find it alright?" Logan called out from the living room. James looked up quickly and back at the bookshelf. There was another binder there, this one labeled, "Best Poems." He put away the one filled with Logan's work and replaced it with the other. He quickly looked inside to confirm that it was the correct book and went back into the living room. James didn't tell Logan about the first binder, but the last line of that one poem made him curious. _Where is he?_


	3. Great Day

"Good afternoon, Mr. Finkelman!" James called out as he stepped inside a small bakery, carrying a glossy bag in one hand. Underneath Logan's apartment building was a long row of stores, most of which James frequented and subsequently knew many of the owners.

"Hey there James, how's it goin'?" a short, older man behind a sparkling glass counter waved to him as he got close.

"Pretty good, pretty good. How about yourself?"

"Hangin' in there alright. What can I get ya today?"

"Ohh, it's sort of special."

"Really now, is it? What's the occasion?"

James smiled sheepishly. "You know the new job I told you about, right?"

"The blind boy?"

"Yeah, him. Turns it it's his birthday today. I know it's only my third day, but I wanted to get him something special."

"That's sweet of ya,"said Mr. Finkelman. He slapped on a pair of thin, disposable glove and opened up the back of the counter. "Are ya thinkin' a cake, or somethin' a little smaller?"

"Hmm, let's see." James squat down and looked over the pastries on display. The cakes looked great, but maybe that was a little too much. Napoleons were probably too difficult for Logan to eat, and the tarts were a bit messy. "Are these mousse cakes?"

"Yep, sure are. Strawberry, mango an' chocolate. New thing. Got the idea from a magazine. Sellin' pretty good so far, how 'bout you try 'em?"

"Alright. Give me one of the strawberry."

Mr. Finkelman boxed up the tiny square of amazingness and soon sent James on his way. He went inside the building and took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

"Logan?" James called out as he stepped inside the apartment.

"Hey James. I was just taking a little nap." Logan popped up from the sofa and waved in his helper's general direction.

"Happy birthday," James said. He walked up to Logan and placed the shiny bag in his lap.

"Oh my gosh," Logan said. His hands touched all over the bag as his face lit up. "What is this?"

"Explore it, open it," James suggested.

Logan nodded and reached inside the bag. There were a few sheets of crinkly crepe paper wrapped around a box. He ran his fingers along the edges of the box carefully, taking in every texture and sensation. He grinned, wondering what could be inside.

"So what is it?" Logan asked.

"It's a little word processor for blind people."

"Oh?" Logan pulled the box out of the bag and touched it tenderly. "Thank you, James. Could you open it for me please?"

"Sure thing, man."

He sat down beside Logan and gently took the box from him. He flipped open the sides and pulled out a little computer looking thing. It took him a few minutes, but he managed to turn it on and get it going. Logan sat there patiently the whole time.

"Okay," said James. He put the device in Logan's lap. "The important buttons have braille on them. There's an on/off button, one to start a new file, oh and these are important. Do you touch them, do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Yep," Logan said. "Here is start, and here is stop."

"Uh huh. When it starts, it'll transcribe what you say to it. Make sure you talk clearly. Ah, and then you can play it back, too! It might get complicated when you start new files, or open old ones. There's a screen on it too, and it should display what you write. It doesn't do a lot of good for you. But I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I hope so. This is so nice."

"You said you wanted to write, so I thought this could really help you out!"

"Oh man, yeah. I haven't been given something this nice in forever! Thank you so much, James."

"You're welcome. Let's see if it works. Try it!"

"Haha okay, okay. Ummm," Logan looked a little embarrassed. He pressed the start button, and the device said, "**start talking**."

"I'm just trying this out," Logan said. "So this is just a test I guess." He pressed the stop button and it made a little pinging sound.

"Cool," said James. "Now play it back."

Logan set it to play back and the machine said, "**I'm just trying this out, so this is just a test I guess.**"

"That's so cool!" Logan exclaimed. "It really works! Awww, wow. Thank you!"

"I got something else, too," James said.

"Huhh? Oohh, you're going to spoil me," Logan said, his face turning red. He raised a hand to his mouth and smiled cutely.

"Come over to the breakfast counter," James said. He stood up and walked over to the stools, where he placed down the slice of mousse cake. He quickly snatched a fork and put it down next to it. Logan sat down and waited patiently.

"Is it food, I guess?" Logan asked.

"Uh huh. I got you a little dessert."

"Oh wow, James, really?" Logan giggled. He touched the countertop until he found the box with the cake inside. He carefully opened it up and James helped him pull the dessert out. James handed him the fork and Logan gently took a small bite. He grinned ear to ear immediately. "Try it, James! It's so good!"

Logan took a little bit of the cake and did his best to hold it out to James's mouth. The taller boy blushed. Logan was so cute. Who would have thought that a blind guy would be feeding him? James opened his mouth and took the cake off of Logan's fork.

"Get it?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. It is good, you're right. Wow."

"You've made this such a great day, James. Thank you." Logan put the fork down and touched James on the shoulder. "Oh, wow," he said quietly. His hand cupped around James's shoulder. "You're _really _built."

"Yeah I guess," James said coyly. He swallowed hard as Logan touched him, but soon he retreated back to the cake.

"You must be really handsome," Logan said quietly.

"What's that?"

"You must be really handsome…"

"Haha…why do you say that?" James asked, growing in embarrassment. Was he hitting on him?

"It's just my guess."

"Hmmm okay."

James finished his chores for the day and left Logan to play with his new device. It was perfect for keeping a journal, just as James had predicted. Of course, he wondered what Logan could possibly write about, living his entire life indoors, but it probably gave him plenty of time to think about life. James wanted to get inside his head so bad.

The next day when James came back, Logan was taking a nap. He walked inside and someone managed to avoid waking him up, even though he announced himself immediately. Logan was on the sofa, fast asleep. The word processor was on the little table there. James crept over to it and noticed that it was on, and obviously Logan had been using it. Feeling a little wrong for doing so, but he still couldn't resist, James read over what was written on the small screen. It seemed to be a poem.

_Just a brief description and a vague impression_

_I wonder what beauty is really there_

_What does he really look like?_

_I'm falling hard_

_But is it right? Too soon?_

_Perhaps I'll never know any of these answers._

James put his hand over his mouth as he read the poem. It was pretty obviously about him, right? It sounded like Logan was falling in love with James. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions. Either way, he just turned off the device and pretended that he never saw it. He didn't want to humiliate Logan.

"Mmph…hhhu…ohh," Logan groaned as he started to wake up.

"Hey Logan," James said softly. "I'm here. Sorry if I woke you up."

"It's okay," Logan mumbled. "I should be up anyway."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, and you?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm just great." James got to his feet now.

"I was wondering if you could run a load of laundry for me," Logan said.

"Sure, no problem."

"Thanks, James. Here," Logan went to stand up. "I'll show you where the stuff is…OH!" He tripped over the side of the sofa but James quickly caught him. Logan basically fell into his arms. James blushed.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Umm…y-yeah. Thanks…" Logan's hands touched James's upper body but didn't at all resist. They stood there a little bit too long. "Um. Anyway." He did his best to stand up and walked away from James. "Come this way, I'll show you the hamper. The laundry room is in the basement, so you'll just take the whole basket down there and throw in a load. It's not hard, I don't think."


	4. Together

A week passed, and James began to get the feel for his new job. It made him sad to see how isolated Logan lived, though. He promised himself that he would do _something _to make the blind young man's life better. There had to be a way.

James came into the lobby of the apartment building and walked over to the mailroom. As he passed a small table, he noticed a stack of bright orange flyers next to the usual pot of plastic flowers. "Pie Event this Thursday." James picked one up and carried it with Logan's mail.

"Loooogan! Helloooo!" he called out as he stepped inside the apartment. He placed a plastic bag on the counter.

"Hey James," Logan answered from the kitchen. He was attempting to get some water from the faucet.

"You doing okay?" James asked.

"Uh huh. How are you? Weather nice outside?"

"Oh wow, yeah it sure is. Want me to open a window?"

"That would be cool."

James walked over to the far end of the apartment and slid open one of the windows. It was a calm, early autumn day. The sun was bright and the trees were starting to change color.

"Sleep well?" James asked.

"Not really," Logan answered. He finished the glass of water and left it in the sink, and then he followed the wall to the living room, where he plopped onto the sofa. "I'm having a terrible time _staying _asleep lately."

"That's no good," said James. He left the window and joined Logan on the sofa. "I found something interesting, though."

"Oh yeah?" Logan tried to look at where James was and he smiled. "What's that?"

"A 'Pie Event' that the apartment management is hosting tomorrow. They're gonna have a bunch of pies, and everyone is invited to come down and have some."

"Oh…"

"What?" James asked with a little laugh.

"Wh…why did you mention that? They do it every year."

"Ever gone?"

Logan became quiet and closed up. He looked sad, maybe even frightened.

"Logan?"

"No, I haven't gone," he said quickly.

"Want to?"

"James, you know I haven't left the apartment in 10 years."

"Not even the lobby? It's not _outside _outside. Just down the elevator and…"

"I don't know."

"Hey, come on, no pressure," James said calmly. He scooted a little closer to Logan. "But think about it…all the smells and tastes that you could experience!"

Logan sighed and slumped against James's arm. James immediately sucked in a tight breath of air. It was the first time that Logan had really touched him on purpose, and it felt nice. Logan was obviously starting to open up and feel comfortable around his aid.

"I'll think about it," said the blind boy.

"Good. Think about it a lot, okay?"

"Mh…"

"Well anyways, I brought something kind of fun and different." James gently pushed Logan away from his arm (even though he didn't want to) and went to the plastic bag he had brought in earlier.

"What is it?" Logan asked.

"Come to the kitchen, you'll see."

Logan teetered his way over to the room where James now was and stood in the threshold. "What is it?" he asked again.

"Come here." James held out his hand for Logan to grab onto, which he did, and he pulled him to the kitchen counter. There, the helper pulled a bunch of different food out of the bag and laid them upon the surface. He took a few mixing bowls from a cupboard and put them in front of Logan. "Thought I would try making something different for dinner," said James.

"Like what?" Logan asked cautiously.

"Liiiiike a salad. Aaaaand how about a frozen lasagna?"

The taller young man popped the frozen dish from its box and stuck it in the microwave. He set it to several minutes and went back to where Logan stood. "But I want you to help me."

"Ohh, haha…how?" Logan asked.

"You said you like to do small things to make you feel useful, right?"

"Right…"

"Well, let's try this. Here." James took a knife from a drawer and held it gently in his hand. "Of course, I'll do all the chopping. First I'll cut up a cucumber." _Bat bat bat bat_. He made many round slices of the cool vegetable and set them aside. Logan inhaled the smell deeply.

"Now how about a bell pepper?" James said cheerily. He cut it long ways and then into small square. _Shop shop shop shop_.

"It smells so good!" Logan exclaimed. "Very watery and fresh."

"Uh huh," James agreed. "Now I'm going to grate a carrot." _Shrint-shrunt shrint-shrunt. _"And a few tomatoes. They're not real big, so I'll just cut 'em into quarters. They're squishy." _Slirp slirp slirp._

"Of course, can't forget the lettuce!" James added. He smiled real big and cut up a large head of lettuce. _Kachrit kachrit._

"You're a talented cook," said Logan. James rolled his eyes.

"Only kinda," he said coyly. "But you're gonna help, and you'll be just as good, okay? Here…"

Logan acted a little embarrassed about this, mostly because he thought he wouldn't do a very good job. He lacked the self-confidence to dive headfirst. James put a stainless steel bowl in front of Logan and filled it with the chopped up vegetables. Then he took another, smaller mixing bowl and put in some vinegar and oil. He also chopped a piece of garlic real fine and put it inside as well.

"Put your hands on here," James said, handing the small bowl to Logan. The blind boy took it gently, carefully, and held it with both hands.

"Now what?" Logan asked.

"Pour it into the bigger bowl," James instructed. "Just pour it right on."

"Ummm okay. Like this?" Logan giggled and tipped the side of the small bowl right over top of the big one. The dressing dribbled over the vegetables. "It makes such a great sound!"

"Uh, I guess," James said. "But it's easy, you know?"

"It is!" Logan exclaimed. "Is it empty?"

"Yeah, here I'll take it."

Logan handed the small bowl back to James. The taller guy now took a big spoon and held it out to Logan. "Okay, take this," he said.

Logan reached his hand out to take the spoon, but his fingers landed on James's hand instead.

"Uh, the spoon," James said, his face turning red. Logan's soft fingers touched the back of his hand so tender and sweetly.

"Right," Logan confirmed. He slowly slid his hand down James's until he found the spoon.

"So just mix it all up now," James said quickly. He wondered if Logan had done that on purpose. How could he have? Well, it wouldn't have been that difficult. Hmm…James really wondered.

"Like this?" Logan asked as he attempted to toss the salad. He did an alright job.

"Yeah! That's great! Just like that!" James cheered. "Okay, that's good! Now let's check the lasagna."

"I don't think I'd be any good at that," Logan said sadly.

"It only requires one person," James said. He opened up the microwave and pulled out the cheesy dish. He stuck a fork into it and tested its heat. "Yep! Perfect. You wanna go sit down at the counter?"

"Okay!" Logan smiled sweetly and made his careful way over to the other side of the counter top. He plopped down on one of the benches and waited patiently for James to bring dinner. "James, it smells great."

"It's just frozen lasagna, silly. I didn't bake it or nothing."

"Yeah but still. Thank you. I like this a lot. You're sweet."

James smiled as he carried two plates full of food over to the counter. He sat beside Logan and handed him a fork. "Got everything?" he asked.

"Mhmm! Thank you!" Logan said. He stuck out his tongue and looked super adorable. James wanted to hug him, but that would probably be too forward.

"Thank you for helping me," James said.

"Ohh, it was…haha…nothing…"

"So how's the word processor?" James asked.

"Good!" Logan answered. He put a big bite of lasagna into his mouth and chewed. "I've been keeping a journal, like I always wanted."

"Awesome. I knew you'd put it to good use."

"Uh huh! But what I really want to do is write stories."

"What kind of stories?"

"Fairy tales. Is that silly?"

"No, why would it be?" Even though it didn't matter, James kept his eyes focused on Logan as they talked. Although his eyes were milky and weird looking, the rest of Logan was, well, beautiful. At least that's how James felt. He had a gorgeous face, body, and soul. He wanted to give him everything to make him happy.

"I dunno. My mom used to read me fairy tales, and they took me to great places. I guess…oh…this sounds funny, but I guess I've spent a lot of my life living in those places."

"Logan," James said softly. He pushed his empty plate away. "That's beautiful."

"You think so?" Logan asked cutely. James put a hand onto the blind boy's shoulder.

"You never really grew up," James said. "You still have the heart of a child."

"Is that bad?"

"No."


	5. Acid Memories

"I don't know about this, James."

"It'll be fine. Believe me. You'll love it."

"I don't know…"

It was the day of the Pie Event, and James was doing his best to convince Logan to attend, without being too pushy. The blind guy was leaning towards going, but he still had his doubts.

"The whole thing is a big step for me," Logan said.

"Hey," James began. "Remember; not only am I being paid to watch out for you, I also really care about you. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen. I would never do anything that could be dangerous. It's just going to the lobby to eat some good food and meet people. Don't you want more of a life?"

"Yeah…" Logan sighed nervously. "You mean that?"

"I mean all of it, but what in particular?"

"That you care about me."

"Absolutely." James smiled and took Logan's arm. "So let's go, okay? You can hold onto me the entire time."

"Well," the taller boy latched onto James's arm and let out a long breath of air. "Okay. Let's go."

Logan had barely even stepped beyond the threshold of the front door more than once. This small step was a giant leap for his kind. James put an arm around Logan's shoulders, and used his other hand to hold Logan's. The blind boy put all of his faith into his aid and they walked out of the apartment, heading towards the elevators.

"It's not so bad, huh?" James asked.

"I-I guess not," Logan said quite shortly.

"You'll get used to it. Here, you can press the down button. There's braille."

Logan reached out and felt the wall until he found the correct button. His hand was shaking.

"It's totally safe. Nothing can go wrong," James reassured him. Logan did his best to smile through his nervousness.

The door slid open and they walked into the empty elevator. James also had Logan press the lobby button. As the elevator began to move, Logan's heart picked up.

"Ohhh God," he whispered.

"It's fine, it's fine, shhhh." James rubbed his shoulder and held him a little closer. "Only an elevator. It runs up and down all day and never has any problems."

Logan hummed sadly as he held onto James, but he was quite comforting. They got to the bottom floor and it made a _ping!_

"Here we are," said James.

He led Logan out of the doors and down to the common room. Neither of them had ever been inside it before. The doorway was decorated with a sparkling trellis of fake orange leaves. As they went through, Logan was bombarded with an array of smells he hadn't experienced since he was little. Pumpkin, apples, spice. Warm smells. Warm, homely smells. He stood off to the side and inhaled for some time.

"It reminds me of Thanksgiving with my family," he said softly.

"Yeah, me too."

"Oh!" The voice of a stranger called out, coming close to the boys. "You must be the young man from 412?"

"Umm…yes?" Logan replied hesitantly.

James looked at the older woman who was talking to them and smiled. "I'm James, his aid. Do you live here?"

"As a matter of fact, I'm his immediate neighbor," the woman said. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"Logan."

"Logan. It's very nice to meet you, Logan. I'm Holly."

"Hi…"

"You should have some of this pecan pie, it's absolutely stunning!" Holly remarked. She smiled warmly at Logan regardless of his disability.

"We'll have to try it, thank you!" James said. "Come on Logan, let's go have some pie."

"Ummm okay."

James led Logan over to a long table which had been covered in all sorts of pies. This was sort of like heaven for James, since he was a huge fan of this particular kind of baked sweet. There was cherry, pumpkin, a few varieties of apple, sweet potato, strawberry-rhubarb and of course the pecan. James took a little bit of each and put it inside two Styrofoam containers. Seating was limited, and the management openly invited the guests to take their slices of pie back home. Logan was nervous, even though he delighted in the experience.

"You want to go back?" James asked.

"Yes."

They packed up the pie and returned to Logan's apartment. The elevator ride upstairs was far less stressful than going down, and James was really happy to see that. It didn't take much to get Logan adjusted to new experiences. It was good to be back, though.

"How was that?" James asked.

"It was a lot," Logan answered, calm get a bit shaky. He sat down at the kitchen counter and put his head on his hands. "But it was fun. Thanks for taking me."

"You don't need to thank me; I'm just trying to make your life better. Here, let's try some of this, okay?"

They sampled the pastries for a while. Logan agreed that the pecan was the best, but James really enjoyed the granny smith apple. "Just bitter enough," he said.

When all of the eating was said and done and they had moved to the living room sofa, Logan said something that surprised yet excited James.

"I want to go outside."

"What?"

"I want to go outside."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Logan smiled and touched James's arm. "I think I can trust you, and today really was fun."

"Oh Logan," James said. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear to say that!"

"When I smelled that room, I remembered a lot about being a kid," Logan went on. "Mama always baked pecan pie for Christmas. I'd come down real early in the morning, and she would be starting the pie. She'd let me put the nuts into the piecrust."

James looked at Logan as he reminisced so sweetly. It made his heart feel warm to see that cute smile on his face, describing a seen lost long ago. It had been a long time since Logan thought about the happy feelings associated with his late family.

"Then we'll go for a walk tomorrow," James suggested. "Do you have warm enough clothes?"

"Ehh, just some," Logan said. "An aid from a few years ago, Terry; she bought me winter clothes 'just in case.' They're in my closet. Oh, can you get them for me? I've never touched anything in there."

"Yeah sure."

James stood up, Logan following closely behind, and went into the bedroom. He opened up the only closet and saw that it was pretty packed with boxes.

"What is all of this?" James asked.

"Just stuff. Mostly things from my aunt's house. I dunno."

"Here, here we go."

The tall boy pointed a box out to himself marked, "Winter Clothes?" in curly handwriting. It was blocked by a smaller, black, airtight trunk.

"Hmmmm," James said. "What's in the trunk?"

"Trunk?" Logan asked. "I don't know. Why?"

"It looks curious. And it's in the way of the winter clothes."

"Take it out."

James slid the trunk out, which ended up being heavier than it looked, and clacked it open. Inside there was a whole array of items. He saw photos, stuffed animals, and tiny objects from here and there. James picked up one of the stacks of photos and quickly realized what it was; things left over from his family.

"Oh, Logan," James said softly. "It's your memory box, I guess."

"That's right," Logan said. "I haven't ever looked inside there. My aunt packed it up for me."

"There are a bunch of photos," James explained. "Doesn't do any good for you, but I think I see your sister. That's definitely you. Those are your parents I guess."

"Yeah…" Logan agreed blankly.

"All sorts of interesting stuff in here. A cellphone?"

"Cellphone?"

"Yeah, an old cellphone."

"Weird. Let me hold it?" Logan held out his hand for the phone. James handed it to him gently, and the moment that it touched his skin, Logan retracted. He dropped it on the ground and threw his arms around himself with a sudden screaming sob.

"Oh my God!" James yelled. "Are you okay?!"

Logan wailed and cried, rocking back and forth suddenly. He screamed and sobbed, and James flung his arms around Logan's body. He held him against his chest. Logan's face touched the smooth, hard pectoral muscles of his aid, dotting the fabric of his shirt with tears. His sobs calmed down.

"Sshhh, shhhh," James cooed, petting the back of Logan's head. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm so sorry I did that."

"N-n-not your fa-fault," Logan sniffed. "I sh-should've known."

"What was that?" James asked very tenderly.

"M-my sister's c-cellphone. Th-the last thing sh-she said to me. C-call 9-11."

"Oh, Logan…"

"The m-m-memory came back."

"It's okay, it's okay. Oh, Logan…" James squeezed his body close and continued to stroke his head. "I'm sorry."

"N-not your fault," Logan sniffed real loud and tried to pull himself together. He sat back from James slightly and tried to look up at him.

"You can't hide the memories like that," James said, trying to sound caring and not condescending. Logan nodded softly. "You need to face them and accept them, then move on. Like, okay, I'm sure there are happy memories in here, too. Let's look."

He pulled the trunk closer to them and started to grab around for something things. He found the stuffed polar bear.

"How about this?" James suggested. He plopped the toy into Logan's arms.

"My bear," Logan said. He hugged it sweetly and smiled a teary little smile. "My bear."

"Or this? Some jewelry." James put a pair of earrings into Logan's hands.

"Mama's diamonds," the blind boy said immediately. "She said they would belong to my sister one day."

"Not so bad, right?" James asked.

"No, it's not," Logan agreed. He handed the earrings back to James for the trunk, but he held onto the bear. "Sorry for flipping out."

"Totally alright," James said. "I would have done the same thing, I'm sure. Look, some CDs."

"What are they?"

"Girly stuff. Probably your sisters? Kinda old for you. Selena."

"Oh yeah, those are hers. She listened to it all the time."

Logan put his hands out for the CDs.

"You can move on and still treasure things," James said. "You just need to have something to move on _to_."

"I don't know what, though," Logan said sadly. "I really don't know. My life has been so blank inside here, how can I move on? What is there to move on to?"

"Well," James mumbled. "What about…you and me?"


	6. Tender Touch

James didn't sleep very well that night, since he had crazy butterflies in his stomach knowing that Logan would go outside with him the next day! He never would have expected him to make such incredible progress so quickly, but he did, and it was amazing. The agency would be thrilled once they found out. James might even get a raise. But did it matter? He didn't want to work with Logan for money.

At any rate, the day finally came and James made it to the apartment earlier than usual. As he opened the door, the sound of music poured in from the bedroom. He stepped in real carefully and listened and Logan began to sing to himself.

_Late at night when all the world is sleeping_

_I stay up and think of you_

_And I wish on a star that somewhere you are_

_Thinking of me, too_

James walked down the hallway and looked through the threshold of Logan's bedroom. He was sitting on his bed with a CD player, listening to one of his sister's albums. He must have heard James walking, because he suddenly startled and flipped the stereo off.

"James?" he called out nervously.

"Hey, sorry," James said. "Didn't mean to scare you.

"Ohh. It's okay. I just…haha…"

"What?"

Logan shrugged and looked cute. "The music is silly. It reminds me of her, so you know."

"It's not silly. I think it's pretty good. I didn't know you could sing like that."

"Ehh," the blind boy blushed and smiled coyly. "I dunno."

"Sounds nice," James said. "But we have better things to do than hang out in your room, right?"

"Right. Okay. Um. So, going outside…" Logan got to his feet and scrambled towards James. "I have a jacket by the door. And a pair of shoes. Anywhere in particular we're going?"

"Nope. Just as far as you can handle I guess." James took Logan's hand to his arm and directed him to the front door of the apartment. They found the jacket and shoes, got Logan dressed, and began their journey.

"I'm a little nervous," Logan confessed as they left the apartment and headed to the elevators.

"I know. You'll be alright. I'm here, remember?" James smiled as he spoke, and he felt Logan's grip on his arm tighten just a smidgen.

They called the elevator up and took it down to the lobby. Logan's breathing was steady yet heavy. James leaned over to his ear and whispered, "It'll be alright."

The doors opened and both of the boys stepped through. Their shoes clacked and shuffled across the ceramic tile floor as they made their way to the entrance of the building.

"Okay, this is the front door," James announced. "Think you're ready to go through? It's nice outside today. Not a lot of foot traffic. The sun is out."

"I'm ready," Logan said quietly. "Let's go."

"I'll go out first and then lead you in."

James put his back to the door and pushed it open. He took both of Logan's hands and, walking in reverse, stepped the two of them out onto the sidewalk. Logan held onto James's hands tightly, but his face looked serene. He stopped and let the world tell him what it had to offer. People were talking. All kinds of people. Someone was walking a dog, it sounded like. A woman was on her phone near the front of the building, yelling at someone way too loud. The bannister advertisements for his apartment building flapped overhead in the wind.

"Here!" James said. He bent his knees down and now pushed his back against Logan's chest. "Climb onto my back."

"Are you sure?" Nervous Logan asked.

"Yeah sure, I wouldn't do something I wasn't sure of. Just climb on."

Logan nodded to himself and jumped onto James's back. He put his legs around the aid's thin waist and his arms around his shoulders. James rose to his regular height and secured the blind boy with his arms.

"Try to keep your head on level with mine, so I can watch clearance and stuff."

"Ok." Logan pressed his cheek against James's temple. "Sure you can walk around with me here?"

"I'm strong as shit. I can do it. Just hang on tight, okay? I'm gonna start walking now."

Logan made a few peeps of fear as James began to stroll down the sidewalk, but it was such an invigorating experience, he quickly got over all elements of horror. The wind gently whipped at his face as smells and sounds soared by his senses. He heard a couple arguing, and a child asking many questions to its parent. Someone was baking bread, a large truck was idling its engine, and, oh, a fish market.

"What do you think?" James asked.

"I wish I could see," Logan whispered into his ear. "I'm sure I'm missing tons of details."

"Well," James began. He picked up the pace. "There's an old church up ahead. It's covered with pigeons. Probably the same birds every day. An old man comes out in the morning to feed them, but he's not here now. I see him a lot. Right now, the birds are watching a group of teenagers play hacky-sack.

"Okay, now we're passing the church. There's a playground but it's pretty vacant. One mother has a baby with a stroller. Oh, and now someone is walking a dog. Okay there are a lot of people on the sidewalk now. I think there's a food cart up ahead. Yeah, a big long line to get hotdogs and pizza, it looks like."

Logan giggled and smiled as James described the world around them. He held on tight.

"Thank you," the blind guy said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for being here."

"No problem. I want to make things better. Isn't this better?"

"Yeah."

"Ready to go back?"

"Yeah."

So James turned around and took Logan back to his apartment. They had spent a good 20 minutes going up and down the sidewalk, and that was definitely a major success in James's book.

"I have a lot to write about today," Logan said as they returning to his apartment. "I'm excited!"

"I'm glad you're happy. It really was fun, huh? We should go out more."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. He took a seat at the kitchen counter and sipped on a glass of water that James drew for him.

"Just eggs gonna be okay?"

"Sure."

James started to cook their dinner with a chipper smile on his face. He had done a lot of good in his life, especially with that job, but nothing had been so rewarding as helping Logan. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever done. Seeing that lonely young boy flourish and grow, all because of his helping hand, almost sent chills down his spine.

"Smells good," Logan said. James put a plate of scrambled eggs down in front of him and sat down as well.

"Not a big deal," he said.

"Yeah but still. I'm soooo hungry!" Logan grinned and picked up his fork.

He ate relatively quickly and cleaned up the plate on his own. He was also a lot more tired than he had realized.

"I think I'll go to bed early tonight," he announced.

James finished wiping down the kitchen and flipped off the light. They meandered towards the front door. "Good," he said. "You'll need your sleep. I'll think of something fun for tomorrow, too."

"Hehe not too much," Logan said. "I don't want to overdo it."

" 'Course not. I'll figured something out."

"Mmmh…"

The shorter boy stood in the hallway before the door somewhat awkwardly. His brow furrowed.

"Well anyway," James began. "I'd better head home. I have some homework still."

"I…" Logan spat out.

"Huh?"

"I…" now he stepped closer to James. "I like you a lot."

"I like you a lot, too," James answered, getting red in the face. Logan walked even closer so that they were only a few inches apart.

"I appreciate what you do for me," he said with a cute, shy smile. "I really do."

"I'm glad," James said. "I'm really, really glad."

Logan reached out his hand and touched James's chest. He smoothed over the fabric and bit down on his lower lip. What was he doing? James swallowed hard.

"Th-thank you," Logan whispered.

"You thank me too much."

"Maybe, but I mean it. Not sure if you know how much you've done for me."

"I have an idea."

Logan suddenly jumped forward and flung his arms around James's waist. He embraced him real tight and pressed his face against his pecs. James blushed more, but he also put his arms around the smaller guy. They held onto each other in silence.

"You're my best friend," Logan whispered.

"You're…" James swallowed tight once more. He almost felt like he was about to cry. "You're my best friend too."

Just as awkwardly as Logan had started his goodbye, he let go of James and walked backwards very fast.

"Well, see you tomorrow," he said shortly.

"Um. Heheh. Yeah. See ya." James watched Logan smiling as he walked out.


	7. That Moment

"Sup James."

"Coulda told me you'd have Carlos over."

James came home to his apartment and was immediately greeted by his roommate, Kendall, who unexpectedly had his boyfriend over. They were cuddled up on the sofa watching TV in a more or less dark room.

"Sorry, didn't think you'd care," Kendall explained.

"Not such a big deal," said James. He hung his jacket up in the closet and kicked off his shoes. "But I have some homework to do, so don't make too much noise."

"Noooooo problem," said Carlos. He grinned real big. "Just gonna hang here with ma boy."

"Mmhmm," Kendall agreed. "How's your little bat guy?"

"He's fine," James said with a chuckle, thinking about Logan. "I got him to leave the apartment today."

"Cool!" Kendall said. "Do you think he uh…_likes _you?"

"I dunno," said James. He walked behind the sofa and headed towards his room. "I really don't know." He sulked away and closed the door. _Okay, _he thought. _Homework time. Ugh. _He turned on a lamp and sat at his desk. Logan was fresh on his mind, and it was going to be difficult to focus. The history book stared at him. Yawn.

About an hour later he made little progress. He put his face down on the desk and closed his eyes. All he could think about was Logan. What plans would he come up with for tomorrow? What would Logan like to do? Would there be some magical memory that James could muster up inside him?

_THUMP THUMP_.

James jumped up suddenly. There was series of loud noises coming from Kendall's room. _Oh jesus. You've got to be kidding_, James thought to himself. How would he get through the rest of his homework with all that racket?

"Ohhh God, ohhhh god!" Carlos called out. The walls were super paper thin, which was always a major setback of their place. James clapped his hands over his ears but it did no good. Carlos continue to scream, "Oh my God, ooooh my God. Oohhh mi amor! Oh! Oh! Kendaaalll!"

James took his iPod out from a drawer in the desk and blared some Maroon 5. There was no way he would finish his homework at this rate. For a brief moment, James wondered what it would be like to have sex with Logan. He probably never had a relationship or any kind of romantic contact, so he wouldn't be very good. That would be fine with James. He loved Logan.

Wait.

He loved Logan?

James paused the iPod and realized what he had thought just then. _I love Logan._ Did he really? Did he love Logan?

"OH GOD! KENDALL! AAHH! AHH! OH GOD! YOU'RE SO BIG!"

Okay, that was a little too much. Come on, guys. Could they have some dignity?

"You're so nice and tiiiight," Kendall answered.

James got up and banged on the wall. "GUYS! QUIET DOWN!" he yelled.

"Sorry!" Kendall and Carlos both said at the same time.

"Ugh," James huffed to himself.

Hopefully the boys would calm down, but either way he decided to stop being productive and just go to bed. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed underneath his black satin bed sheets. They caressed his smooth body and cradled him like the boyfriend he didn't have. Would Logan like the feel of his sheets? Probably.

"Ahhh, Carlos. Mmmm, ooh wow. Oohh Carlitos! Yeaaah. Mmm." Kendall started making noise again, probably while Carlos went down on him.

"Are you kidding?!" James called out. "Guys, come on!"

"Sorry!" the couple on the other side of the wall yelled. "Sorry sorry!"

"James is just grumpy 'cause he needs to get laid," Kendall said quietly.

"I heard that," James said. He rolled his and snuggled into the pillow. He imagined Logan resting next to him as he fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, James clumsily made his way over to Logan's apartment due to lack of sleep. He came in through the door and called out, "Loooogan!"

"Over here," Logan replied from the living room. "Are you okay? You sound bad."

"I'm so tired," James groaned. He shuffled over to the sofa and sat down beside Logan. "My roommate kept me up late. Couldn't finish my homework."

"What's it like to have roommates?" Logan asked.

"It can be cool sometimes. They're fun to hang with, good to divide up chores. But when they make noise and keep up and stuff it's not so much fun."

"Ohh…well…" Logan sighed and made a shy face. "Well you know you can always come here if you want some peace and quiet."

"I might have to take you up on that," James said, looking at the blind boy sweetly.

"Anytime. I'd love the extra company."

"That would be amazing. Sometimes my roommate makes too much noise with his boyfriend."

"His? Boyfriend?" Logan asked with interest.

"Uh huh. He's gay. Well, we're all gay."

"Ohh…"

"Does that bother you?"

"No."

"Um, hey, uh, if you don't mind me asking," James cleared his throat. "Do you have a sexual preference?"

"I guess not," Logan answered very as a matter of factly. "I mean, I went blind before I hit puberty, so I can't really have physical attraction. If I ever had a relationship, it would be based only on an emotional bond. But, well, you know…"

"_I know _what?"

Logan smiled halfheartedly and let out a quiet sigh. He folded his hands in his lap. "I'll never have a relationship."

"Why would you say that?" James asked softly.

"Nobody would want one with me."

"How come?"

"I'm a burden. You know that. Yeah, you like to take care of me, but it's your job. Who would want to date a burden? Nobody could ever love me."

James looked at Logan with sympathy. Did he really believe such things about himself? It was difficult to take in. He had so much to offer, despite his disability.

"Logan…"

The taller of the two put a hand on Logan's shoulder and turned him. Even though he couldn't see, it seemed as though he was looking up at James. His jittery, milky eyes appeared to fixate on the aid.

"You're a wonderful person," James said. "You're full of wonder, have a kind and caring disposition. One day you'll make someone very happy, it just will take some understanding."

"I dunno," Logan whined. "I can't imagine anybody would want to be married to a problem like me. I've never even been kissed or anything."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," James said. Shaking on the inside, he put his index finger on Logan's cheek. His skin was so soft, so delicate. "It's almost kind of sweet. You have a certain innocence about you."

"Hahah I guess," Logan giggled. He moved a little closer to James, nuzzling against the finger. His lips separated and a sweet smile stretched across his face.

"But I have some bad news," James said.

"What's that?"

"With all of the ruckus going on at my place last night, I couldn't figure out something fun to do today. I guess we'll have to wing it."

"Err…I dunno." Logan looked apprehensive.

"What?"

"I don't know if I want to go out today."

"Oh, well that's fine. We can just stay in. Any particular reason why?"

"There's something else I'd rather do."

"What's that?"

"Can we go to my room?"

"Yeah of course."

Logan got to his feet and ran his hand along the molding of the wall, as usual, and went to his room. James followed closely behind, wondering what Logan was up to. He walked up to the closet and pointed at the floor. That memory trunk was still sitting there.

"I want to go through it some more," Logan said.

"Okay, we can do that. You think you can handle it?"

"Yeah."

They both sat down on the floor. James clacked open the sides of the trunk and raised the lid up high.

"Tell me what's in there," Logan said softly.

"Okay. Well, a bunch of photos like I said before. But I don't think that does any good."

"Yeah."

"Aaaand," James pushed the photos aside and looked at the bottom. "There's a scarf. Here, touch it."

Logan took the silky fabric from James's hand and held it up to his face. He inhaled it deeply and smiled. "Still smells like my mama," he whispered.

"Are you alright?" James asked.

"Uh huh. Keep going."

"Here's a small box," James said, taking a wooden square into his hands. He opened it up and revealed two old time pieces. "Watches," he said.

Logan held out his hand and James gave him the watches, one after the other.

"I think they were my dad's," Logan said. "He had a lot of them. My aunt sold the real nice ones."

"That's a shame. Was she your dad's sister?"

"Yeah. They didn't really get along well." Logan looked sad when he said that.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," the blind guy hummed. "I just hope they've made peace by now."

"Oh I'm sure of that."

"Hey James?" Logan asked, shifting his mood somewhat.

"Yeah?"

The shorter of them snapped one of the watches onto his wrist. "Have you had a boyfriend ever?"

"Yes," James answered quickly. His heart picked up speed. Why was Logan asking him about relationships? He tried to remain cool.

"Is it nice?"

"Yeah of course. Being lonely is no fun."

"I know how that is."

"You won't always be lonely."

"I will," Logan insisted sadly. James refused to let him believe that. He slipped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

"You won't."

"You don't understand," Logan said. "_Nobody _wants me. Nobody wants to spend their whole life taking care of some guy."

"That's not true," James said.

"Yah-huh."

"Why would you think that? You barely know anything about the grown up world."

"'Cause it makes sense, that's why. Relationships are all about people helping each other. If the one person has nothing to offer, then it will never be…good…or something."

"You think you have nothing to offer?" James asked. Logan nodded. "You do."

"Nu-huh."

"Yes, you do."

"What, then?"

"I already told you. Now it seems you've convinced yourself that you'll always be lonely!"

"Just accepting reality."

"Logan, you're crazy. And I know crazy!" James turned Logan to face him. "You have plenty to offer. Even just physically you're a knockout. Okay?"

Logan was quiet. His face turned red.

"Making your life better gives me meaning," James said. "You help me by letting me help you. Does that make sense?"

Logan remained silent. He fumbled his hands around in his lap nervously. James really, really wanted to know what was going on in his mind. It seemed to him that Logan was purposefully trapping James into admitting he cared about him. Or maybe he was reading into it too deeply. Either way, Logan's intentions seemed clear on some level.

James inhaled sharply.

"I want to be w…"

Logan cut him off. He put his finger over James's lips, almost smack on. He stood up on his knees so that he was level with James's face. His hand opened and his touched his helper's cheek. He ran his fingers over the freshly shaven skin, taking in all of its contours. James closed his eyes and Logan's tender touches traced circles on his face. He longed for this sensation. What was going on?

"Do you love me?" Logan asked out of the blue.

"Do I love you?" James threw back at him.

"Yeah, do you love me…"

"Do _you _love _me?_"

"I don't really know what loving is," Logan admitted. "It's never had the chance to grow. Well, not…haha…not until, well…"

"You love me?" James asked, feeling a little awkward. Once more, what was going on?

"Do you love me?" Logan asked.

"Y-yes," James hesitated. Logan stopped breathing for a moment. "Do you?"

Logan said nothing.

"I do love you, Logan," James continued. His heart was beating faster than it should, but the honesty felt good. "I really do. I want to take care of you, but not as my job. I want to be here for you, and make your life amazing. I want to help you every day, all day. I love you."

The blind one put his other hand upon James's face now. He pulled him close and their lips met. Nothing big, nothing wet; just a simple smack on the lips. James wanted more, but he would be patient. Logan slid his cheek along James's and pressed his mouth close to his ear.

"I think I love you too, James."


	8. Sex Ed

"I've been living in darkness. Not just physically, but emotionally, too. I guess I managed to convince myself that nobody would ever want me because of my blindness."

"It's alright," James coaxed. He held Logan in his arms now. "You can move on from it all now."

"You…you really care about me, don't you?" Logan dared to verify.

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Why?"

"Because you're amazing and you deserve someone to love you."

"Oh…I see…can I ask you a weird question?"

"Sure, anything."

Logan put his lips up to James's ear and tenderly whispered, "How do two men have sex?"

James got red in the face. He cleared his throat and said, "Uh, haha, let's not talk about this on the floor, okay?"

"Um, okay."

Logan stood up awkwardly and teetered over to his bed. "What about here?" he asked way too innocently. James continued to blush, but agreed and sat on the bed with him. He took Logan's hand.

"See, when two men love each other or whatever, the one guy, well…he puts his penis inside the other guy's butt."

"His butt?!" Logan gasped. "I don't know if I want anything in my butt. You mean…you'd put…"

"What about your penis inside a butt?"

"I don't know. I just…I don't know. I mean, I don't even know how a man and a woman exactly do it. I've never seen that stuff."

"No worries," James said. He hooked an arm around Logan's waist and smiled. "Relationships are new to you. You'll want some kind of sex eventually."

"I guess."

"Do you still want to kiss me?"

"Ye...yeah."

James brought both of his hands around to Logan's face and cupped his cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned into his lips. This time, it was going to be more passionate. James opened his mouth slightly and touched the tip of his tongue to Logan's bottom lip. Logan made a tiny whine.

"Is this okay?" James whispered.

"Yeah."

Cautiously, Logan raised his hands up along James's chest, touching over his muscles as he went, and stopped near his shoulders. He held onto him delicately and tried his best to return the kiss. Their lips pressed and smacked together. James didn't want to entirely overwhelm him, but he clearly had to take the lead. He pushed Logan onto his back and straddled his waist. The blind boy gasped and giggled, clinging to James's hard shoulders. The kiss was broken off and James nuzzled Logan's nose. Just a whisper length away, James said, "You know, you're really beautiful."

"I am?" Logan asked in a shy, hushed tone.

"Yeah," James whispered back. "Really…really beautiful."

Logan ran his hands up James's neck and to his face. He stroked his cheeks and touched him tenderly all over.

"Your face," Logan said. "Feels soft and nice, but your body is firm and strong. I wish I could see what you look like, because it feels amazing."

"I wish you could see, too."

James dipped down to Logan's neck and kissed him there. Logan let out a small cry and a sharp gasp.

"You okay?" The taller guy asked.

"Ahh…my…" Logan laughed nervously. "Um…"

"What is it?"

"Er. My penis."

"What about it?"

"It's _hard_."

"That's okay. So is mine."

"Can we stop?"

"Yeah, okay." James climbed off of Logan and lay down on the bed beside him. "It's okay for your penis to be hard. Have you ever masturbated?"

"What is that?"

"Hahaha uh, it's when you touch yourself," James said awkwardly.

"I don't understand."

"Oh wow, um," James looked over at Logan and cleared his throat. Logan had really gone that long without ever wondering about his penis? It seemed remarkable, almost impossible to James; like most guys, he started exploring his body and sexuality at a young age. Masturbating was a regular thing for more than half of his life. Part of him thought it was strange that Logan was so non-sexual, but it was also endearing. He was _so _innocent. More innocent than anybody James had ever known.

"What is masturbate…ing?"

"It's when you have an orgasm on your own."

"Have an orgasm?"

"Yeah, climax, cum. Um. Not sure how to explain this."

Logan rolled over and put an arm around James's broad chest. His face was all scrunched up with wonder. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay, uh, okay, so," James sighed once to prepare for Logan's sex ed lesson. "When a man gets turned on, his penis gets hard. That's so he had put it inside a woman, biologically speaking. Then he has sex with her until he has an orgasm; that's when his sperm comes out of his penis. That's how she can get pregnant. If you're gay, then sperm is just something fun to play with."

"That's so gross. I have _sperms _in me?"

"It's not gross. And yeah, you do. They're in your balls. If you jerk your penis off enough, it'll get better feeling and you'll move faster and faster until the sperm shoots out."

"No way! That's so weird!" Logan couldn't help but laugh. "I had no idea."

"Most guys start getting boners when they're like, 11 or 12. Then they figure it out. You've never had a boner?"

"Boner?"

"When it gets hard."

"No. But I do now. It's weird. I want it to go away."

"Awww don't say that, boners are great."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, that's fine. Are you okay?"

"I guess so."

Logan was starting to sound a little sad, maybe even uncomfortable.

"Can I do anything to help?" James asked.

"No. I dunno. I guess sex is just a really weird and new thing for me. I feel a kinda awkward talking about it."

"It's alright, Logan. At first, everyone feels awkward. I've had enough sex that it's just normal for me."

"You have? A lot of sex?" Logan asked with a hint of upset in his voice.

"Yeah. Okay not like _tons _or anything, but you know. I've had boyfriends. I had sex with my last most recent ex a couple times a day sometimes."

"Woah. What is it like?

James propped his head up on his hand and looked at Logan, smiling. "Well he would give it to me. And it's pretty amazing."

"Do you…" Logan sounded real shy all of the sudden. He nuzzled his face against James's chest, kind of hiding against him. "Do you want to give it to me?"

"You want the honest answer?"

"Uh huh."

"Yeah, I do. I really do. But I don't want to force you into anything. I mean, if you never want to have sex I'll be cool with it."

"Ohhhh."

James touched the back of Logan's head and petted him gently.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to live with me."


	9. Step Four

"Oh Logan, I don't know about that."

The atmosphere in the bedroom had suddenly become very awkward. Logan's random proposition for his aid to move in with him was just a little too soon. It was sweet, though.

"Why not?" Logan asked sadly.

"It's just a bit too soon. I mean, I like where I live right now. I don't know if I'm up for that kind of commitment."

"Doesn't have to be like a relationship," the blind guy explained. "I'll pay you to stay and take care of me."

"Aww, Logan, come on."

Out of nowhere, Logan started to tear up. He began sniffling and threw himself at James.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" James asked desperately. He put his arms around Logan and held him close to his chest.

"I'm scared," Logan mumbled.

"Of what, baby?"

"Being alone."

James turned Logan's face up to his and watched the tears roll out of his milky eyes. It broke his heart to see him cry like that.

"You've been alone for a long time," James said. "What's a little longer?"

"I don't like it when you're not here," Logan admitted. "When you leave, I cry and wish you could stay. I miss you."

"Are you serious?"

"Uh huh."

"Awwww…" James hugged him a bit tighter. He wiped the tears away from his cheeks and put a tiny kiss on his forehead. Logan sighed and tried his best to calm down. "Why don't you come home with me today? You can meet my roommate. You can stay with me."

"I, I don't know."

"I have too much stuff I gotta do at my place, I can't stay here. But I'll take care of you."

"I don't know…"

James cradled Logan in his arms and held him there for a few minutes, speechless. His sniffs subsided. The room fell quiet, but it was nice.

"Okay," Logan finally said.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I'll go home with you."

* * *

"Alright, just here, okay. You're good, you're good." James led Logan by the arm down the sidewalk and towards his car. "You'll be alright in a car?"

"I don't know," Logan said sheepishly. "I'll try."

"Come on here," He opened up the door of his Tacoma and hoisted Logan inside. "Here's the seatbelt. You okay?"

"Yup." Logan struggled to buckle up.

James went around the other side and climbed up into the driver's seat. "I'm going to turn it on now, okay?"

"Y-yeah." Logan gripped onto the side of the door and braced himself. This was a big deal for him; a major turning point. He had spent more than a decade being completely terrified of riding in cars, but now that he had James, he felt brave enough to face those fears.

James started the engine and pulled out of the space smoothly. Logan was trying his best not to hyperventilate.

"I'll put the window down," James said.

Logan breathed in the fresh air from outside and attempted to settle into the seat. It wasn't so bad. The car smelled good, too. It was a smell that reminded him of…something.

"How is it?"

"Good," Logan answered quickly. "How much further?"

"Heheh, not long."

They continued to drive through the city at a pleasant pace. Maybe this was something Logan could even get used to. He really, really wished he could see, though. He wanted to experience the ride better, but oh well. James made a turn and Logan could tell they went inside a covered parking garage.

"Are we here?" He asked.

"Yup! I'll just park and we'll head up. You doing okay?"

"Yeah I'm alright."

James pulled into his space and shut of the engine. He popped out of the car and went around to the other side. Logan undid his seatbelt and held onto James as he stepped out. He took James's arm and they walked to the stairwell. The parking lot was cold and quiet. A car hummed as it passed behind them. Logan was apprehensive and nervous, but he was also very, very happy to be with James. There was a certain kind of comfort he felt with the tall aid that had never been there before. It was changing him for the better.

They took the stairs up to the second floor and James led him to his apartment. "My roommate is home, and he isn't expecting you. But he's a real, real nice guy."

"O-okay," Logan said.

James unlocked the door and walked inside, holding Logan's hand.

"Yo Kendall."

"Hey man." The roommate was folded up on the couch, drinking a beer and watching TV. Carlos, his boyfriend, was over again.

"Didn't know Carlos would be here," said James.

"Sorry," Kendall said quickly. "Who's this?"

"This is Logan, the guy I've been taking care of," James said with a big, proud smile. He presented Logan to the guys.

"Well hey there Logan," Kendall said. "How are you doing?"

"Good," Logan said quickly.

"You're the blind guy huh?" Carlos asked. Kendall jabbed him in the ribs and hissed for him to stop.

"Yeah I am."

"Okay, I don't want to hang around here forever. I'm going to take Logan to my room, and I'll probly see you guys tomorrow. Try to be quiet, okay?" James took Logan's hand and led him down to his room.

"Why'd you have to say that?" Kendall asked his boyfriend, who shrugged.

"Just making sure."

"Totally rude, dude. But he's cute, isn't he?"

"Yeah he is."

Kendall sighed. "I guess they're making progress."

"Is he gonna do him?"

"I don't know…"

James took Logan into his room and closed the door. Logan immediately began to slowly walk around the perimeter and feel all of the furniture. He ran his fingers along the dresser, desk, nightstand, bed, and back to the door.

"Getting a feel for it?" James asked.

"Yeah. It's nice. I like your room."

"My bed sheets are satin. Come and touch them." James pulled Logan to the bed and folded the top sheet down. Logan put his hand down on the mattress and stroked the sheets. He purred.

"This is the best thing I've ever felt," he said with a giddy smile.

"I love 'em," James said. He took off his shirt and pants so that he was only in his boxer briefs. Logan sat down on the bed, making long strokes back and forth across the black satin. He kept giggling as he did so. James sat down next to him and gave him a hug. Logan startled when he felt his topless torso touch him.

"You okay?" James asked.

"Your…" Logan began shyly. He nervously put his hands onto James's pecs. "Your body is nice."

"You like it?"

"Yeah…is that okay?" Logan made an innocent face.

"Completely. You can touch whatever you want."

Logan's hands began to crawl all over James's body. His pectorals were firm and smooth. He cupped around his shoulders, moved across the collar bone, back down over the pecs and to his abs. James moaned quietly as Logan's soft hands explored him.

"What about me?" Logan asked in a tiny voice.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want to touch me?"

"Yeah. Can I?"

"Uh huh…"

Though he craved it, James hesitated to touch Logan somewhat. He was afraid that they were moving too fast and that his actions could suddenly put Logan over the edge. But there they were, sitting on his bed, all alone, expecting to touch. There was only one thing to do.

James held the bottom of Logan's shirt and pulled it over his head, exposing his smooth, pasty torso. He bit his lower hip as he looked the blind boy over.

"Is it okay?" Logan asked.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah." James wasn't sure what to do first. He wanted all of Logan, all at once. He wanted to taste every inch of his body. Where to start?

"Is my body okay? Are you sure?"

"Logan, you're beautiful."

The taller boy's eyes sparkled as he looked over the body in front of him. He put his hands on his shoulders and pushed his back down against the satin sheets. Logan stared at nothing but smiled. James swallowed real hard and exhaled. He had touched plenty of men, but Logan was different; he was special. His innocence was endearing and yet he was extremely sexy. There must have been a sexual beast inside of him, waiting to be released. Logan hadn't even jerked off his _entire _life, so he had to make up for lost time at some point.

James leaned over and put a chaste kiss on Logan's sternum. His lips curled into a smile as they pecked the pale flesh. Logan giggled and whispered, "It tickles."

"Should I stop?"

"No…"

His fingers traced a line from Logan's collar bone down to his belly. He ran his tongue up to his neck and kissed his earlobe. Logan twisted his head and let out a small moan. James touched his stomach softly and made tiny circles with all of his fingers, causing Logan to make even more noises of pleasure. His face turned bright red as James continued to kiss him ear. He moved to his cheek and then crawled his lips over to his mouth. They kissed. Logan wound his arms around James's back and lightly touched his shoulder blades. They were so muscular, thick, pronounced and amazing. It was the most that Logan had ever touched another person.

James's eyes closed as he kept kissing his lover, and he trailed back across his cheek and to his ear. His lips opened and he licked Logan's earlobe delicately. It tasted salty all of the sudden. James pulled back and saw that Logan had tears running down his face.

"What's wrong?" James asked in a sweet whisper.

"I'm…"

"What?"

"I'm just so happy."

"Ohh, gosh honey," James brought his hands up to Logan's face now. He caressed him very tenderly. "I'm glad I can make you feel this good."

"I never thought my life would change this much, this quickly," Logan explained. "I honestly thought I would never leave the apartment, and probably just die young."

"Logan…"

"But you…you've given me everything."

"Good."

Logan released his arms around James's back and moved them to his face. He took the taller boy's hands now. Their fingers entwined.

"Is it okay if I want to sleep?" Logan asked with a laugh.

"Mhhm. I'm tired, too."

He pushed Logan over so that he was better laying on the bed and brought the covers up around them. "Come here like this," James said. He moved on his side and pulled Logan's back up to his chest. He put an arm around his waist and spooned him.

"This is nice," Logan remarked. "It's really nice."

"Yeah, it's a normal way for couples to sleep or cuddle."

Logan turned his head and to face James, visually begging for a kiss. The taller of them popped a kiss on his lips.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" James said.

"Alright."

"Any bad dreams or whatnot, just wake me up and I'll hold you good."

"Thanks."

James put another kiss, now on Logan's neck, and said, "I do love you."

"I love you too. Don't go anywhere," Logan whispered.

"I promise I won't."


	10. Cute Little Blind Virgin

Sleep was very much welcome and took them over quickly, but James was woken up not much later. His shoulder was being shaken gently.

"Hhuhh?" James mumbled. He opened his eyes but just saw darkness. It was still late enough that the sun hadn't even considered coming up yet.

"Bad dreams," Logan said very softly.

"Awwww," James pulled him to his chest. Logan clung to him in a tired desperation. "What about?"

"I was moving really fast through an ocean," Logan said. "Deeper and deeper at a horrific speed. And, and some loud noise. This weird, low pitch humming sound. Ohh, it was so scary."

"Sounds like it," James coaxed, petting the back of Logan's head with care. "But it's over now and everything is okay."

"Yeeah…"

"You have bad dreams a lot, don't you?"

"…yeaaaah."

"I wish I could make them go away," James said. He kissed the top of Logan's head and sighed.

"Don't worry about it," Logan whispered. "You're already helping me out so much."

_"Oh Kendall, be good…"_ Carlos started talking on the other side of the wall. Logan perked up. "What's that?"

"Ughh this is unbelievable," James raised a finger to his temple and grumbled. "I told them to be quiet."

"What's going on?" Logan asked.

_"Shh-shh, Carlitos we gotta be quiet," _Kendall said.

_"Mmm Kendall, Kendall ahhh come on."_

James furrowed his brow at the couple heating up next door. This was the worst time for them to be getting it on. "They're uh," James said. "They're having sex."

"Really?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. The walls are really thin in this place."

"Hush!" Logan snipped teasingly. "I wanna listen."

"You wha…"

"I wanna listen," the blind guy said quickly. He tried to make his breathing even quieter so that Kendall and Carlos were even more audible.

_"Ohh, that feels so good," _Kendall groaned. _"Ohh Carlos. Oh my _God_."_

_"You like that?" _Carlos giggled.

"_Ohh fuck yeah, oh my gosh. Wow. Ohhh._"

Logan grinned wickedly as he listened. His curiosity had outweighed any fear or awkwardness about sex. Having James's bare chest wrapped around him now, in the middle of the night, listening to these other boys making love…he was curiouser and curiouser.

_"Please fuck me Kendall_," Carlos pleaded.

_"Yeah? Is that what you want?_"

_"Mmmm yeah papi, come on_."

They stopped talking and soon, the thumping began. It was the bedpost hitting the wall. It started out relatively slow, but it progressively grew faster and faster.

"Sounds like they're in pain," Logan whispered.

"They aren't," James said. He was still hugging Logan, suffering as he had to listen to his roommate getting it on.

"It all feels good?" Logan asked.

"Yeah."

"Hmmm."

_"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OHHHH! OHHHH!" _ Carlos cried out hysterically as he and or Kendall climaxed. Logan's eyebrows raised up real high.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Orgasm," James answered blankly. It was very painful having to sit through this. But why did Logan want to listen? Well, basically he was at that explorative part of growing up that most people go through when they're much younger. James thought back to when he began to figure out sex. Yeah, that made sense. When he started getting random erections, he would experiment with anything that could feel good.

"I would scream like that?" Logan asked timidly.

"I don't know. Not everyone does."

"Hmmm…"

The boys in the next room settled down now and fell quiet.

"I wish I could watch it," Logan said dreamily.

"Haha…ha…" James pretended to laugh, almost even creeped out by it. Logan made a few inquisitive humms before sleep took him over once more.

* * *

Morning finally rolled around and James woke up with a big boner. His instant reaction was to take care of himself, but he remembered that Logan was there. He had rolled off of him by then and was curled up in a fetal position facing the wall. James winced to himself and tried to tuck his hard on away. There was only one sensible thing to do. He carefully, _carefully _climbed out of his bed and tiptoed out to the bathroom. He beat himself off quickly and came back. Logan hadn't moved. He was still asleep.

"Morning Logan," James whispered softly as he slid back underneath the covers. He slipped his arms around the blind boy's waist and pulled him close to his body.

"Mmm…James?"

"Yep."

"You're warm."

"Hehe, well, I dunno."

"You're _really _warm." Logan flipped over and put his hand on James's forehead. "Are you okay?"

"IIIIIII sweat a lot when I sleep. Sometimes. Yeeeeah."

"Ohhh. Okay."

"Wanna go out for breakfast?"

"Out? Out where?"

"I dunno. Breakfast place. Sound like something you wanna do?"

"Can we just eat here?"

"Sure, sure. We can do that too."

James helped Logan get out of bed and led him out to the bathroom. "I can get washed up on my own," Logan said with a tiny smile. He brushed his teeth and washed his face.

"You do a real good job," James said. "I'm proud of you."

"Yaaaaay!"

The taller of the young men leaned down to Logan and kissed him on the lips. Logan gasped against James's lips but didn't fight the kiss.

"I love you," James whispered. "I love you more than I've loved anybody ever. Ever."

"Why?"

"Because you're amazing."

Logan broke off the kiss and pressed his face against James's chest. He nuzzled slightly and sighed.

"What's wrong?" James asked.

"I just, oh, this seems silly."

"What? You can tell me, c'mon."

"I feel like I don't deserve your love."

"Why would you say that?" James cupped his hands around Logan's face and coddled him like that. "Don't say that."

"It's just how I feel."

"You deserve the best of everything, baby. Now let's have something to eat."

They walked out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen, where Carlos and Kendall already were.

"Morning, guys," Kendall said.

"Good morning," Logan softly greeted them. He wondered what they looked like now, more than ever.

"Wow, thanks for being so quiet last now. Wow. Wow," James said with a tone of frustration in his voice. Kendall winced.

"You're welcome!" Carlos said like an idiot. Kendall rolled his eyes. "He's being sarcastic," he hissed in a whisper.

James opened up the fridge and peeked around inside. "What do you want, Logan?"

"I dunno. Anything I guess."

"We were gonna make pancakes," Kendall said. "Want enough for you both?"

"That would be amazing. You would do that?" Logan asked with a big smile.

"Sure."

"Let's sit down while they cook," James suggested. "The kitchen is real small and we don't wanna get in the way."

"Okay."

James led Logan over to the living room area, which was open to the kitchen, and they both curled up on the sofa.

"I liked hearing you have sex," Logan said out of the blue. James almost exploded.

"What?" Kendall asked, thinking he heard him wrong.

"I heard you having sex. I liked it," Logan repeated. James's eyes opened real wide and he wanted to shut him up _so _bad.

"Thanks," Carlos and Kendall both said at the same time. They exchanged a really weird look. James peered over the back of the sofa and mouthed, "sorry, sorry" to them.

"Does it hurt?" Logan asked.

_Oh my God_, James thought. _Logan stop. _He didn't want to humiliate him, so telling him to shut up was out of the question. What to do, what to do?

"Does what hurt? Sex?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah," Logan went on. "Does it hurt when a penis goes inside your butt?"

"Sorta hurts at first, but then it feels totally yummy," Carlos said rather nonchalantly. He put his elbows on the counter and looked at the guys with a funny smile. "You've never had sex, Logan?"

"Nope."

"You should do it with James," Kendall chimed in casually. "He's great."

"What?" Logan asked James. He looked at him the best he good, wrinkling up his forehead.

"Kendall and I used to date," James said very quietly. "Not a big deal."

"You aren't still together, right?" Logan asked nervously.

"No not at all."

"That's so cute," Carlos said. "Cute little blind virgin."

"Uhh, sure guys. Sure," James giggled apprehensively. He felt a little on the spot.

"He sounds horny," Carlos added. James sputtered. The Latino looked at the boys with a naughty grin. "You two should just fuck."

Logan hummed cutely and looked embarrassed. He reached out for James and touched his arm, not saying anything.

"Almost ready," Kendall called out from the griddle.


	11. Not Ready

_It was a hot day in the middle of July and the county fair was in town. I strolled through the crowds with my hand clutching my Aunt Mary's arm. _

_"Here you go, Logie-pie," she said. "Open your hand." She put an ice cream cone in my twelve year old fist. _

_"Thank you," I said._

_"Anything for you, sweetie."_

_We kept on walking along the gravelly road with the sun beating down upon us. The farm animals that they display every year were coming close, since I started to smell them. Mary took me down another direction and we stopped._

_"Horses, Logie-pie!" she enthusiastically told me. "Come here and touch their faces. I'll hold your ice cream."_

_She switched out my cone with the forehead of a large horse. I petted him and grinned. "What color?" I asked._

_"He's a brown horse. Oh, he's so sweet, isn't he?"_

_"Yeah…"_

_ The horses were always my favorite part of the fair. When I was younger and I could see, I used to love watching them walk around in their pens, playing with each other. But now all I could do was barely touch them and imagine what they looked like. Even the color brown lost its meaning._

_"Why did I have to lose my eyes?" I asked._

_"I-I don't know, honey," Aunt Mary replied, all of the happiness leaving her voice. "I really don't know."_

_I let my hand roll off of the horse's face and Mary gave me my ice cream back. I licked some of it, but it was melting so much in the heat that it was making a real mess. We kept walking._

_"I'm glad you're still here, at least," said my aunt. I didn't reply. Even though I was young, I was old enough to have no will to live._

_As we left the stalls were the animals were, the sun came back out. It was beating down on us hard. I tried my best to remember what the fair looked like, but the more I thought about it, the further and further away the memory slipped._

_"Ohhh," my aunt suddenly gasped. She let go of my hand and I stopped walking. I heard her coughing rapidly._

_"Aunt Mary?" I called out._

_"L-Logan," she sputtered. I heard someone collapse onto the ground, and suddenly there were footsteps all around me. _

_"Someone call an ambulance!" a man yelled out. I froze in my place, ice cream running onto my hand now._

_"L-Logan, don't…eugh…don't move," Aunt Mary gasped._

_"What's happening?" I asked in desperation. Why couldn't I see? Why couldn't I help? A person came up to me and put their hands onto my shoulders._

_"She's your aunt?" they asked. It was a woman._

_"Yeah," I replied. Now my heart was beating fast and I started to cry._

_"It's okay, it's okay. She'll be fine, I'm sure." I flung my arms around the stranger and started to cry against her chest._

_"Why…"_

* * *

Breakfast turned out to be much less awkward than the conversation that preempted it. Kendall quickly realized that Logan was a little awkward because of his life's journey, but by no means a weirdo or a creep. He did his best to convey this to Carlos, and he could only hope that it sunk it.

"These are really good," Logan said, now halfway through the pancakes the other couple had prepared.

"Well thanks, Logan," Kendall said. "Pretty much the only thing I can cook well."

"Oooo that's not true," Carlos argued cutely. "You do chili alright."

"Who fucks up _chili?" _Kendall laughed.

Logan giggled to himself at their conversation. Is this what couples do? This cute banter? Was he doing it with James without even realizing it?

"Kendall?" Logan asked.

"Yeah-huh?"

"What do you look like?"

"_A beast_," Carlos butted in. "A sexy beast."

"Blond and eyebrows," James said quietly.

"I guess I can't argue with any of those!" Kendall said with a laugh. "Why?"

"I just want to imagine," Logan said.

"Fair enough. Well like James said, people talk about my heavy eyebrows. But I also have green eyes. I guess an angular face. Never really thought about it."

"And Carlos?"

"I'm Latino, so my skin is darker than you all's," Carlos explained. "Right now I'm keeping my hair real short. I work out a lot. I dunno."

"Hmmm okay. What do _I _look like?"

Kendall and Carlos looked to each other. Kendall narrowed his eyes and Carlos grinned. They turned back to Logan at once and both said, "Cute!"

"Ha-aah. Okay."

James patted Logan and the shoulder. "_I _can't argue with that," he said.

They finished up eating and James took Logan back to his room. "What do you want to do now?" he asked.

"I feel like reading, but…"

"I don't have any audio books," James said. "I can read you an actual book though."

"What do you have?

"You ever read science fiction?"

"Not really."

"Well if you like fantasy, you'll probably like this." He sat Logan down on his bed and grabbed a small novel from his desk. "Here. I'll read some and you let me know what you think."

"Cool."

James sat beside him on the bed, and Logan settled his head into his new boyfriend's lap. James opened up the introduction and began to read.

"_'You'll never get away with this!'_

_Ada Yero, princess of the Turi, screamed at the dark lord Ghorr. He had captured her just days before, keeping her in a locked chamber on his space ship. Now, he had tied her to a contraption in order to obtain the powers she possessed._

_'Well, you keep thinking that,' Ghorr said in a low, gravelly voice. 'But I am the one in charge. So your efforts to fight back are petty.'"_

As he read on, Logan became more and more involved with the story. He had never considered life on other planets, so the concepts were very intriguing. The princess sent a telepathic message out into the universe which happened to be picked up by a guy on Earth, thus beginning his space adventure.

" _Zach stood in the middle of the spacecraft and looked around quizzically. He wondered if this was actually real after all. At the console sat two humanoids, who looked happy to see him."_

"I like it," Logan interrupted.

"Oh yeah?" James asked.

"Uh huh! It's so cool. Have you read it before?"

"Loads of times," the taller boy explained. "It's actually a queer lifestyle sort of sci-fi. Zach falls in love with another guy, not the princess. It's funny but also cool."

"I wanna keep reading it!"

"Okay, but not now," James said. He put the book back on his desk and then gave Logan a warm hug.

"Why not?"

"I just want to cuddle with you for a little while."

"Ummm okay."

James rolled Logan onto his back and gently climbed atop him. He leaned down and put a series of tiny kisses all over his face.

"You're so beautiful," James whispered. Logan giggled and blushed. "I wish you could see how…muah…beautiful you…muah…are."

"I guess," Logan sighed. James quickly ran his tongue over his lover's lips. He quivered in delight.

"I think I should bring you back to your apartment tonight," James said.

"Why?"

" 'Cause you need to be home and stuff, right?"

"I dunno."

"Well I don't know how ready I am for you to move in with me."

"Mmmm," Logan sighed sadly.

"Ohh, well, I dunno. Let me take you home and I'll think it over. Okay?"

A little smile flicked across Logan's face. "I don't want to sleep alone," he said.

"I know you don't."

"So decide quickly."

"Heyyy, don't rush these things!" James teased. He put another kiss on his face.

"Is that…" Logan began cautiously. James raised his eyebrows.

"Is that what?"

"Is that your, uh, _haarrdd onnn_?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you're talking about the firm thing poking you in the tummy, yeah."

"Ohhh."

"You can touch it if you want," James said, feeling a little awkward. Was that the right thing to say? "Or not, if you don't."

Logan's eyelids lifted up briefly, showing the rolling, creamy eyes beneath. He made a noise of hesitation, but held out his hand and felt around to James's pants anyway. His fingers touched the outside of his erection and quickly retracted.

"Ohhh," Logan said.

"Is it okay?"

"It's really big," Logan giggled. "Mine isn't that big."

"No worries, they're all different sizes."

"Really?"

"Yep. I'm sure yours isn't small though." James clapped his hand over the middle of Logan's crotch. He was sporting quite a boner himself.

"AHH!" Logan cried out. He gasped sharply, but James didn't move his hand.

"How does it feel?"

"Ohh, it feels good," Logan hummed. James rubbed his palm in circles. "Nooo, no I don't want this," Logan suddenly spat out. James moved his hand away instantly.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'm ready."

"It's okay, no worries."

"Sorry," Logan said.

"I mean it! No worries. No worries means no worries, okay? I promise." James climbed off of Logan's waist and put another kiss on his cheek. "Whenever you're ready. I'll wait. Or whatever."


	12. Growing Up

"It was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me, period. Unfortunately I'm back home now, comma, but I hope he decides to let me move in with him, period. Last night was very rough, period. Now that I have slept with him, comma, I don't want to sleep alone ever again, period."

After his lonely night, Logan was up early and dictating into his word processor. He had a lot to catch up on.

"But he makes me think about a lot of things, period. I'm really embarrassed when he touches my privates, comma, but I also want him to, period. What am I supposed to do, question mark? I think maybe I am supposed to want him sexually, comma, but since it is so unknown to me, comma, I might feel strange about it, period. I am so conflicted, period."

He stopped here and thought about James. When he put his hand on his penis, it felt really good. He wanted more of it, but it was also, like he said, really embarrassing. There was no reason for that, though. James loved him and he loved James. Making love should be beautiful. Perhaps he was afraid that he wouldn't be good enough? But James really cared about him. He was something else. In the few weeks that Logan knew him, he had become his best friend and his boyfriend. James had this beautiful side to him that just adored Logan more than anything, almost like a father.

Logan hugged himself and smiled with his thoughts of James. James. _James_. He was like an angel that suddenly came out of nowhere and turned his life around completely.

"I want to be with James forever and ever," Logan whispered to himself. "And then some."

Later in the day and on cue, James came by. Logan was taking a nap in his bedroom. James walked back there and saw the word processor was still on, displaying his recent journal entry. It was too tempting; James had to read it. He smiled big as he saw that last part, which Logan didn't mean to have transcribed. "I want to be with James forever and ever and then some."

Logan stirred then.

"James? Is that you?"

"Yeah, good morning, heheh." James sauntered over to the bed and planted a kiss on the blind boy's temple. "Sleeping late?"

"Mmhmm."

"How are ya?"

"I got a phone call today," Logan said, seriously. He sat up and tried to look in James's direction. "From the agency."

"Yeah."

"They told me you're resigning from taking care of me," Logan said with some worry in his voice. "What's going on? Are you leaving?"

"Haha, no," James chortled. He gave Logan a warm hug and inhaled deeply. "You won't need a helper, because you'll be living with me."

The room fell silent all at once. James closed his eyes, still hugging his friend, waiting for an answer. He feared that he had said the wrong thing. Then he heard a little sniffle.

"James," Logan whispered. "Do you mean that?"

"Fuck yeah I do."

Logan returned the hug. They squeezed each other in silent bliss. The understanding the fluctuated between the boys blossomed and expanded as the hug lasted.

"I will move in with you," Logan finally said. "I will, I will."

"I promise to always take care of you."

"I don't know what to promise," Logan admitted. "But I'll always do something."

"You're adorable."

They spent the rest of the day packing. It was a difficult task, considering James had to describe every single item to Logan. The good news was the Logan not only had very little possessions, but was also willing to do without most of them. By the evening, everything was boxed up and ready to go into James's truck. As he took the boxes down, Logan called the leasing office and got everything straightened out.

When James was taking one of the last boxes out of Logan's apartment, he ran into the neighbor they had met at the Pie Event, Holly.

"Is he moving out, I guess?" Holly asked.

"Yep," said James.

"This is a happy occasion, hmmm?

"Definitely. He's moving in with me."

Holly made a tiny smile and stepped close to James. She looked up at him with her glassy grey eyes. "It's love, isn't it?"

James nodded silently, returning the smile.

"Take good care of the boy," she said. "He seems frail, but with the right foundation to stand on, he'll do well."

"Thanks," James said gratefully. "I'm confident that I can give him a happy life."

"You will," Holly said quietly. She winked knowingly at him and disappeared into her apartment. James exhaled calmly and took the box downstairs. As he came back inside Logan's place he called out, "Ready to go home?"

"Yes. I am."

James gave everything the once over to make sure that they had cleared it all out. "Good to go," he said. He took Logan's arm and led him out of the door for the very last time.

"Bye, apartment," Logan said softly as the door closed. James locked it up and they were on their way.

"Are you sad?" James asked in the elevator.

"Just a _little _bit," Logan admitted. "Only because I lived there for a while. And this happened really, really fast. But I didn't have a good life in that place. I never left. I never realized how good things could be if I walked outside. I…"

"Hmmm?"

The elevator doors opened before Logan could finish. He nudged James to leave and they did. "Bye, apartment building," Logan whispered as they left through the front entrance.

"We're all set!" James announced as he led Logan to his pick up truck, which was parked out front. Logan smiled as James opened the door and helped him inside the passenger's seat. He buckled in and James went around to the other side.

"Alright," James said. "Let's go home."

* * *

"Yo Kendall, help me out getting these boxes in will ya?"

"Sure thing."

The skinny guy jumped up from the sofa and followed James out front. They went down to his truck together and started hauling Logan's stuff inside.

"Is this a good idea?" Kendall asked.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't it?"

"Weeelll, I mean, we moved in pretty fast, and you know how well that worked out."

"Yeah it was messy for a lil, but we get along fine now."

"You don't know him that well," Kendall went on to explain. "What if you end up not liking him?"

"I love him, and I'm devoting myself to taking care of him."

"Alright dude. Whatever you say."

"What about you and Carlos? He _basically _lives here."

"Yeah I know. That's…no, it's not really different, you're right. Maybe I'm just biased because Logan started out as your job. Eh, I dunno. I guess it'll work out."

They got back up to the apartment now. James pushed open the door with his back and let Kendall through.

"We just need to make sure we don't leave things on the floor," James said. "Logan could trip."

"Right right," Kendall agreed.

"Talking about me?" Logan asked from the sofa.

"There needs to be some adjustments around here," James said. "Bu-but it's not your fault, and we can deal with them no problem."

"Well…"

"Don't worry! I said don't worry!" James interrupted Logan before he could start feeling bad. "You're tired. Let's unpack tomorrow, alright? I think it's time for bed."

James ran up to Logan and wrapped his arms around his waist. He hoisted him up off of the sofa and into his arms in one sweeping motion. Logan let out a squeal as he was lifted into the air and he clung to James's chest.

"See ya, Kendall!" James shouted, now walking off towards the bedroom.

"Yeah just be quiet, hehehe," Kendall snorted.

The couple went to James's bedroom and he let the blind boy down. He closed the door behind them and led him to the bed.

"It's our bed now," James said proudly. Logan groped around on the mattress until he found a secure place to sit. Then he pulled off his own shirt and pants, so he was just in his boxers.

"Oh my," James whispered to himself. He watched Logan's tasty body curl up underneath the covers. Licking his lips, he stripped down to his briefs as well and jumped in next to him. He cuddled up against Logan and pulled him to his chest.

"You look sexy as shit," James said.

"Umm. Thanks?"

"Yep. That's a compliment." James smiled and tapped Logan on the nose with his finger.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you um, touch me again?"

"What, on the nose?"

"No…you know. Um. _There_."

"Huh? Ohh…OHH! Okay."

James wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and touched the outside of his underpants. His dick was hard, welcoming, nice. James cupped his hand around it and gently stroked it. Logan gasped and squirmed about as his boyfriend's hand touched him so intimately.

"Oh gosh," Logan said. "Oh my gosh…"

"Is it okay?"

"Y-yeah."

James kissed Logan's neck and purred against his skin. The blind boy moaned lightly. James continued to stroke his throbbing cock.

"It's nice," James whispered.

"What is?"

"Your dick."

"Ohhh."

"I like it." James put a line of tiny kisses along Logan's neck, flicking his tongue as he went. He ran his fingers up to Logan's belly and slipped beneath his underpants. Logan whined as James's hand crawled through his pubic hair and touched his tender penis.

"Is it okay?"

"Yeah."

James wrapped his fingers around Logan's dick and started to jerk him off.

"This is how you would masturbate," James explained, giggling unintentionally. "Just like…"

"Oh my gosh! Oh! James! Eehh!" Logan buckled his body and suddenly shot out a load of cum. He squealed and screamed as it happened, but James clapped his lips over his mouth to quiet him. He smiled into the kiss.

"Was that an orgasm?" Logan asked desperately. His body fell weak.

"Yep." James smeared Logan's cum around on his deflating penis and smiled contently. "Feel good?"

"It felt weird. Good, yeah, I guess."

"Can I shave your pubes?" James asked.

"What?"

"Here, feel this." He gently took Logan's wrist in his hand and guided him towards his own crotch. "Okay if I do this?"

"Uh huh, go ahead," Logan said nervously. James led Logan's soft hand underneath his briefs and across his bare pubic bone.

"Feel this?" James asked.

"Mhhmm," Logan hummed.

"I shave my pubic hair. So it's smooth. Well, a little bumpy right now, but it's mostly smooth. Doesn't it feel better?"

"Yeah it does. It's really touchable. And your penis is _really _big."

"Ohhh pshhh. It's not, ahem, _that _big."

Logan withdrew his hand from James's underpants and folded his arms up. "Maybe we can explore you tomorrow," he said coyly.

"No problem. Whenever you want." He hugged Logan tight and kissed the back of his head. "You know I love you."

"I love you, too. Thank you."


	13. Insecure

The next day, Logan received news that did less than thrill him. As they went into the afternoon, James announced that he had a new person to help out.

"Well I can't be without a job," he said.

"But…but then you won't be home?"

"Just five hours a day, Monday through Friday. It's not too bad."

Logan whined and curled up on the sofa.

"I'll be home by 8, okay? Kendall will take care of you."

"Woah woah woah," Kendall called out from his room. He popped out to where the other boys were. "What did you say about me?"

"I got a new gig," James explained. "So I'll be gone during the week. Could you keep an eye on Logan?"

"Uh huh, sure okay."

"Be good," James said to Logan. He put a kiss on his cheek and walked to the front door.

"I will," Logan said quietly. He listened to James close the door and lock up, feeling sad the entire time. Kendall plopped down next to him.

"Do you ever uh, listen to the TV?"

"I guess I could, yeah."

Kendall picked up the remote and switched all of the devices on. He kept looking over at Logan, who was now curling up in a fetal position.

"You and James are getting serious?" the blond asked.

"I dunno."

"Ummmmmmm okay!"

They watched a few programs together, which ended up being not so bad as long as Kendall occasionally pointed out some specific things that were happening. Logan would still prefer reading, though. The skinny boy fixed dinner and they had it together at the dining room table.

Before they knew it, the clock passed 8, and James was supposed to arrive any minute. Logan waited and waited, feeling uneasy about it all. The day had been difficult to get through; now that he was used to James always being around, any moment without him was painful.

"He said he would be home by now, didn't he?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, but it's James. You never know with James." Kendall took a beer from the fridge and cracked it open.

"Where else would he be?"

"I dunno. Do you want a beer?"

"No."

"Suit yo' self." Kendall walked around to the sofa again and sat down next to the blind boy. He turned to some irritating sitcom and chortled to himself.

"Why isn't James back?" Logan asked.

"I dunno man. Want me to call him?"

"Uh huh…"

He took out his phone and dialed James, but it only rang and went to voicemail. Logan whimpered. "Where is he?" he asked.

"Huhh…I don't know. He usually answers."

"Ohhh no," Logan whispered. It occurred to him that maybe something bad had happened to James. He put his fingers up to his mouth and lightly nibbled on the tips.

"Are you alright?" Kendall asked.

"Wh-where is James," Logan cried. "Why isn't he home?"

"He'll show up."

An hour passed and still no word from James. Logan became increasingly worried.

"He should be home," he said. "Why isn't he home?"

"Yeah this _is _a little weird," Kendall said, now on his third beer. "I don't know what's going on. But I'm sure he's fine. Probably just working late with the new client. I mean, it is his first time with them. Who knows."

"I dunno…"

"Will you be okay if I head off to bed?"

"Bu…but…"

Suddenly, Logan's eyes filled with tears. He started rocking back and forth, clutching himself in his arms. "Where is James," he whimpered. "Oh, what happened!"

Unsure of what to do, Kendall gave him a hug. "It's okay," he said. "Uhhhhhhh it's okay."

Logan's sobs grew louder. He clung to Kendall with utter desperation.

"Every time someone gets close to me, I lose them."

"Don't say that," Kendall reassured him.

"But it's true…"

"Relax," the blond coaxed. He patted Logan on the back and smoothed his hand across his hair. "Crying will only make it worse anyway, no matter how this turns out."

Logan sniffled and cried a little longer, but Kendall was right. Making a scene wouldn't do any good. He let go of the roommate and shrunk back into the sofa.

"Feeling okay?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know…"

Just then, the front door opened.

"James!" Kendall called out. Logan sat up and tried to turn towards the door.

"Hey guys, sorry about that," the tall, dark haired guy explained. He looked beat.

"What happened?" Kendall asked.

Logan sprang up from the sofa and clamored across the room to find James. He banged into the side of the coffee table and almost tripped over the sofa again.

"Logan, calm down," James said. He quickly darted to the blind boy and gave him a hug. "Don't move so fast, you'll get hurt…have you been crying?"

"Mhm," Logan hummed quietly.

"Ohh baby, I'm so sorry," James said. Their foreheads pressed together and finally a smile was on Logan's face. "This new customer is cray cray," James went on to explain. "It's not going to work out."

"Waaaahaha! What happened?" Kendall shouted from the sofa.

"She _attacked _me!" James yelped. "Had to call an ambulance to haul her away. And then I left my phone at the hospital. Great, right?"

"Are you okay?" Logan asked. His fingers fumbled around on James's chest.

"Yeah. She threw a bunch of stuff at me and tried to stab, but luckily I just have some scratch marks on my arm. They'll go away."

Logan was still sniffling slightly. James cradled him in his arms and sighed. "You were that worried?" he asked.

"I thought I lost you," Logan admitted. "I don't know what I would do."

"Come here," James said. He squat down to put his arms around Logan's waist, and then he lifted him up to cling to his chest. "See ya, Kendall." He carried the smaller guy away and to their room, where he plopped him down on the bed.

"I'm so sorry I worried you," James whispered.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're alive."

"Of course I am. I can't die; I have to take care of you."

James rolled Logan onto his back and straddled his butt. He placed kisses along his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He removed his shirt for him and started rubbing his hands onto Logan's shoulders softly.

"J-James," Logan whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Feels good."

He continued to kiss, following the curve of his spine all the way. James slid his hands alongside, too, tenderly touching Logan's waist.

"Was Kendall alright?" James asked between smooches.

"Yeah."

"Good. He's a cool guy."

"Seems like it."

James got to the top of Logan's pants now. He slid his fingers into the seam and pulled them down. Logan made a tiny noise, unclear of pleasure or protest, but let him continue anyway. With his butt exposed now, James kept kissing down the line. He pressed his face into Logan's butt cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Logan asked quietly, nervously.

"Just exploring you," James answered. "Hmmm."

"What?"

"Hang tight."

"Huh?"

James got up from the bed and dashed out of the bedroom. Logan didn't move. Presently the tall guy returned. "Sorry, sorry," he said.

"Where were you?"

"Just had to grab something."

He came back to Logan and in one sweeping motion pulled off the blind boy's pants. Logan braced with limited embarrassment as he was exposed.

"It's okay," James said calmly. "Roll onto your back."

Logan nodded nervously and did so. James sat on his knees, by the bed, and spread Logan's legs apart. "This isn't going to hurt at all, but make sure you stay still, okay?"

"Ummmm okay." Not like he had any other choice.

James brandished a razor and began to carefully chop away all of Logan's pubic hair. Feeling his hands touching that area all over made Logan quiver for a multitude of reasons, but he tried his best to relax. James smiled the whole time he did it. He thought Logan had a real nice package.

"Almost done."

"O-okay."

He had to separate his cheeks to get to all the hair in that area, but once he was done, it was amazing. "Feel it," James said.

Logan apprehensively took his own hand to his crotch and groped around. It was SO smooth! His face changed the moment he made contact.

"Nice, huh?"

"Oh my gosh, yeah," Logan peeped.

"Makes you look way yummier, too."

"Yummi…er?"

James didn't reply. He dropped the razor and went back to Logan's butt. There, he spread his cheeks once more, but this time put his tongue there. All at once, Logan's body twisted and jumped, and a shout roared out of his mouth. James ran the tip of his tongue in small circles over Logan's butthole.

"J-James what are you…oh my gosh…oh…OH!" He didn't want to admit that it felt good, but it really, really did. The warm, wet sensation of James's tongue flicking its way across his most tender area.

"Do you like this?" James asked.

"Uhhhuh."

He firmed up his tongue and began to slip it inside. Logan's body was shaking. His hands gripped into the bed sheets as his toes curled. He didn't even know what to do with himself, he was in so much ecstasy. James reached up and began to jerk his boyfriend off. Logan's breathing became faster and faster, harder and harder. He cried out every few seconds as the pleasure was overwhelming. All at once, his back arched and he came hard. James smiled and removed his head from the nether regions.

"You alright?"

"Oh my gosh…oohh…oh…" Logan lay on the bed, paralyzed by his orgasm. James slipped up beside him and gave him a hug.

"So sexy," he said.

"Ohh…"

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah," Logan finally mouthed. Little tears trickled down his face.

"Hey, do you want to meet my folks tomorrow?" James asked out of the blue.

"Huh?"

"My family. Do you want to meet my family tomorrow?"

"I guess so. Where did that come from?"

"I talked to my mom earlier and she invited me over. I want to bring you so you can meet 'em."

"Okay."

"It will be fun."

"Do they know that I'm blind?"

"Yeah, they know it all. Not a big deal. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." Logan smiled and turned to face James now. He snuggled up against his chest and slowly drifted off the sleep, sitting in the warmth of his afterglow.


	14. Family Ties

Logan was starting to get better at tolerating car rides. Unfortunately, he was so instinctively worried that another accident would occur that his heart rate wouldn't settle. In this particular instance, it was probably for the best that he couldn't see; that way he didn't worry about every intersection.

"You're doing great," James said. They were almost at his parents' house, which had been a grueling 25 minute journey. Logan's grip on the door handle didn't loosen.

"Almost there?"

"Yup! Almost, almost!"

They drove a few more blocks and then turned a corner. James pulled his Toyota pick-up along the sidewalk in front of a modest colonial house. He shut off the engine and popped out to help Logan down from his seat.

"My parents are real nice. They'll like you!" He took Logan's hand as they walked towards the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited. Logan looked nervous.

"James!" a woman called out as the door opened up. Logan heard them hug, and then she put her arms around him, too. "You must be Logan."

"Uh huh. Hi, Mrs. James's mom."

"Awww, haha hi Logan. It's nice to meet you!"

"Good to see you, mom," said James. He took Logan's arm and led him inside. "Where's pops?"

"Oh, you know. Hiding out in the den as usual."

As they walked through the house, Logan was bombarded with a strong, sweet smell. He wasn't sure if it was a scented candle or something baking, but it was fantastic nonetheless. James carefully took him down three little steps.

"Hey dad," James called out.

"James. Logan, right?" A male voice that sounded just like James's, only slightly deeper, addressed Logan in an almost condescending fashion.

"Umm. Yeah. Hi."

"So how are you guys?" James asked in an attempt to cut the awkwardness that Logan was creating.

"We're doing just great," his mom said. "How are things with you?"

"Amazing. Logan is amazing."

"Ohhh," Logan blushed.

"Do you want some pie?" James's mom asked.

"Yay pie!" James called out. "Yeah! Logan, you want pie too huh?"

"I guess so, okay."

The four of them went to the dining room and his mom brought out an apple pie. That's what the smell was. Logan took a seat and smiled. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. James."

"It's not a problem," said James's mom. "We're happy to have you over. It's been a while since we've seen our James, too." She sliced up the pie and started to plate it. Logan got the first slice.

"Here you go Logan," James said. He put a fork in his hand while his parents looked on warily. Logan took a small bite and giggled. "Ohh, it's good!" he exclaimed. James's face lit up.

"Thank you Logan," said Mrs. Diamond. She took her slice and sat down. Clearing her throat once, she went on, "So how do you like my boy?"

"He's nice," Logan said quietly. "He's real nice."

"Mmm he's changed a lot," James's dad joined in all of the sudden.

"How so?" James asked, biting his lower lip.

"Something in your life other than yourself," the father continued. His mom shot daggers at him with her eyes. "What?" Mr. Diamond asked his wife, but she just shook her head.

"I'm growing up I guess," James said.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked.

"It's not important," Mrs. Diamond said quickly. "It's just not important."

James's dad shifted in his chair and grunted, but before he could say anything, the mother interrupted. "_It's not important_," she said sharply.

"Uhh, anyway," James tried to keep it going well. "You should have seen this new customer I was trying to work with yesterday. Oh my gosh, it was horrible."

The conversation and pie went on well for a long time. Logan started to warm up to them all and he even participated fairly. As they finished up with the pie, James's mom gathered the dishes and asked her son if he could come to the kitchen with her.

"What's up?" he asked. Mrs. Diamond closed the door to the kitchen and put the dishes into the sink.

"Is this a good idea?"

"What d'you mean?" James put his hands on his hips.

His mom turned on the tap and squirted some soap over the soiled plates. She slid plastic gloves on and started to scrub away. "He needs a lot of care," she began. "Are you sure this is something you can take on?"

"I love him," James said quickly.

"Yes but James, he's a huge commitment."

"What the FUCK!" James suddenly shouted, throwing his hands into the air. "Why is everybody so quick to judge him because of what's _wrong _with him?"

"Because he really needs a lot of care," Mrs. Diamond said softly. "You might not realize how much you're biting off."

"It's because of people like you that he had almost given up on life. Do you know that? He spent the last ten years of his life thinking he would never have a friend or a lover, all because everyone judges him so harshly. He didn't think he could do anything with his life. But I'm going to change that. I'm going to show him that he can do everything he wants to. His blindness shouldn't limit him."

James's mom turned off the water and looked at her son. "Well," she said, suppressing a loving smile. "If you really feel that way, then I guess I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

"You really have grown up a lot," she continued. James tried to smile. "It's nice to see you thinking about someone other than yourself. I guess I haven't realized how much you've changed."

"Well, my job has made a huge difference."

"I'm glad. Anyway, you two probably want to head back soon, right?"

"Right."

On the way home, James was actively quieter than usual. Logan picked up on this right away. "James?"

"Yeah."

"What did your mom say to you? In the kitchen?"

"Why."

"I heard you yelling."

"She just…ahh…she, well," James sighed twice. Logan made an inquisitive little peep. "She thinks I might regret being with you."

"Do you?"

"Noooo. No no no. I never will. She doesn't understand."

"Ohh…"

"I was mad because she was being a bitch about it. Sorry if that was awkward."

"It's okay. What did your dad mean earlier? When he said you changed a lot?"

"It's nothing, really."

"Oh, um, okay." Logan put his hands in his lap. He wondered what James's past was like. Had he been a difficult person? No matter. They arrived home and he helped Logan get back to their apartment.

"How're the folks?" Kendall called out from the sofa.

"They're fine," James said shortly. "I think they liked Logan alright."

"Cool cool," Kendall said.

"Been a long day," Logan yawned. He hold onto James and they went off to the bedroom.

"Try to keep it down, hahah!" Kendall teased as they walked away. James just shook his head. He closed the door behind them and gave Logan a hug.

"Again, I'm sorry for things being weird with them. I thought it would work out better."

"It was fine," Logan said. "I thought we had a good time."

"Mmmmm good, good," James turned his head and kissed Logan on the lips. The blind boy whimpered against his lips. "You taste like pie."

"Yeah so do you," Logan whispered.

"Did you like how I licked you last night?" James asked seductively.

"Uh huh."

"You want it again?"

"I dunno."

"Why not?"

"It's a little weird," Logan said apprehensively. "I don't know."

"You loved it."

"Maybe."

"Mmmmm well that's fine," James said. He put another kiss on his lips. "Whenever you're comfortable, okay? Remember, I'll take as much time as you need. Promise."

Logan put his hands on James's shoulders and held onto him. His breathing was steady and calm. "Can we read a little more tonight?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

"That one book. The science fantasy one."

"Science fiction, you mean. And sure! Let's continue."

James let go of Logan and took him to the bed. He brought the little paperback novel to the covers and they both snuggled up together. He went to the earmark and started to read where they left on. Logan put his head onto James's chest and relaxed. This was the best place to be, hands down. Here, he could listen to James's voice echo throughout his chest. It was warm, comfortable, and inviting.

"_'I never thought I would actually see you,' Ada said. She reached out from the cell and put her hands onto Zach's arm. He looked at her with a blank expression._

_'Well,' he said. 'I figured since you made me come all this way, I could at least set you free.'_

_'Thank you," said Ada. _

_Zach fumbled with the lock but to no avail. It was far too high-tech for him, so he called out to Anthony. 'Can you look at this for me?'_

_'Yeah okay,' said Anthony. He took the gadget in his hand and gave it a once over. _

_'You are also a man of Earth, aren't you?' Ada asked Anthony, who nodded._

_'But I've been out in the stars way longer,' he said."_

James stopped reading when he realized that Logan had fallen asleep on his chest. He put the book down and turned off the lamp on his nightstand. He considered everything that his mother had said earlier; was this relationship more than he could chew? Would he regret it?

No.

No, it wasn't. He loved Logan more than anything, and Logan needed him. Maybe he even got off on the fact that he had some control over the boy, but either way, he was like the other half of his soul that he had been missing. It was true that James spent the first twenty one years or so of his life being rather narcissistic. He burned through boyfriends like they were lucky to have him. What changed? The job was certainly pivotal in his development, that was for sure. It gave him some perspective on life. There were others less fortunate; others less capable; others who would be grateful to have half of what James did. He didn't think he was superior to Logan, though. Even with his disability, he saw Logan as a beautiful and talented young man. He had a heart of gold and a soul to match it. Everything about him was amazing, and everything about him was loveable.

James thought back to his breakup with Kendall. Towards the end, their relationship had been steadily growing in uneasiness. Kendall was working a job with real long hours, late into the night, and James had a hard time dealing with it. He insisted on getting his "beauty sleep," which made Kendall extremely angry. He wanted to come home and fuck James, but when all he would do was whine, it was almost impossible.

Just then, it occurred to James that he had been sort of a bitch to Kendall. Sure, they worked it all out and obviously they had no problems getting along now, but it bothered him. Had he really been such a different person? Not really different, just less finely tuned. It wouldn't happen again. No, no. It wouldn't happen again. He touched the back of Logan's head tenderly and planted a series of small, soft kisses in his hair. He would be a better boyfriend now. He would make sure that Logan had everything he wanted, and all of his desires fulfilled. He didn't want him to worry about him leaving him. He wanted Logan to know that he would always, always be there.


	15. All These Terms For Having Sex!

The rest of the week carried on well. James had yet another client starting, but this one worked out much better. Now he would only be gone four days a week, leaving Logan home alone or with Kendall. He was settling into the new place well, so any feelings of isolation weren't quite as rough as they had been before.

That next Monday when James left for work, Kendall had Carlos over, and the three of them were having a little powwow over lunch.

"It's cool to see him caring about someone that much," Kendall said as he took his seat at the dining room table. He handed a sandwich directly over to Logan.

"What do you mean?" The blind boy asked.

"He hasn't always, hehe, well…" Kendall trailed off and glanced at Carlos, who shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked again, sounding a bit more desperate this time. "His dad was saying the same thing, but nobody really went into detail. He said 'someone in his life other than himself.'"

"James sorta had a reputation for being self-centered," Kendall explained with a tense sigh. He looked down at his food and narrowed his eyes. "He was wrapped up in his own image for a long, long time. So I guess to see him putting another guy first is a big deal."

"Ohh," Logan said. "Do you…do you think he doesn't really care about me?"

"No!" Kendall and Carlos both shouted at the same time.

"He really does!" the Latino added.

"Yeah, he does. I wouldn't worry about it. He's not just smitten, but he's devoted."

"Okay," Logan hummed. He nibbled on the sandwich Kendall made for him and looked sad.

"What's wrong?" Carlos asked.

"I want to try and have sex with James," he admitted.

"You mean you haven't yet?" Kendall asked, raising his heavy eyebrows.

"No…"

"Well just go for it."

"What do you have to lose?" Carlos asked.

"My virginity."

"Ohhhh. Awwww."

"James will be gentle, I'm sure," Kendall said. "He _can _be rough, but he's real versatile so I wouldn't worry about it. Making love with him is the only thing I regret about our break up."

"Making love?"

"Having sex," Carlos and Kendall said at the same time.

"Ohhh."

"Yeah."

The three guys continued to eat in a small gap of silence.

"I wish he would come home," Logan randomly whispered to himself. Kendall looked to Carlos and smiled sadly.

"You know, once he gets back, Carlos and I can leave for a little while if you want some more privacy to get it on."

"Get it on?"

"Have sex," Kendall and Carlos said at the same time.

"Ohhh."

"Yeah."

"Maybe. I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm ready."

"Well how long are you going to wait?" Kendall asked. "James has a really, really high sex drive, and he's probably going crazy holding out for you."

"I'm scared to put something in my butt."

"Haha, you don't have to be scared!" Carlos exclaimed. "Just try small things. Use your finger. Oh, but James can help you out. Don't worry about it."

"I guess," Logan said apprehensively.

"Just a word of warning, though," Carlos added. "Once you get a feeling for it, YOU WILL NEVER STOP! The hunger will continue, and you'll crave things in your uh, butt."

"Really?" Now Logan started to look scared. Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Yes and no," he said. "It just depends. If you end up being a total whore like Carlos here…" he looked at his boyfriend and stuck out his tongue.

"I can't help it," Carlos said. "It feels so good."

"But either way, it's nothing an arsenal of sex toys can't solve."

"Sex toys?"

"Yeaaaah why don't you just ask James all these questions?" Kendall suggested, starting to get red in the face. "He can explain it better, anyways."

A few hours later, the man on everyone's mind came home. He ran over to the sofa, where the three guys were now stationed, and gave Logan a great big hug.

"I missed you!" he yelled. Logan held onto him and giggled. Carlos and Kendall looked at each other smiling, shaking their heads.

"I missed you too," Logan said quietly. "I don't like it when you leave."

"Yeah, but if I don't work, we can't stay here."

"Then let me pay some of the rent."

"Noooo," James said. "No you don't have to! I've been getting by just fine. You use your money for things you want, okay?"

"Well…okay."

At this point, Kendall and Carlos stood up and went to get their shoes and jackets on.

"Where you guys going?" James asked.

"Gonna go catch a movie," Kendall said quickly. "So we'll be back later. A lot later."

"Yeah alright, just don't make too much noise in the theater."

Carlos stuck his tongue out at James and Kendall flipped him off briefly. James waved and smiled real friendly as they left, but then he went back to Logan and kissed him once. "I missed you all day," he said.

"I missed you all day, too!" Logan added.

"So what do you wanna do?"

"I want to make love."

"…oh!" James's eyes widened at the statement. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well! Alright!" He grabbed Logan by the arm and ran him off to the bedroom. James had been _dying _for this moment, craving those words out of Logan's mouth. Having to sleep next to his partner without fucking him had been killing him.

"But…just be gentle. And go slow," Logan said.

"Don't worry."

James backed him up against the bed and slowly pushed him down onto it. Logan gasped quietly a few times. His heart was starting to race. James pulled up his boyfriend's shirt and put a few little kisses on his stomach.

"No reason to be scared," James whispered. Logan nodded silently. He let James take his shirt off, and his pants, and James actually took all of his own clothes off (it would be difficult for Logan to undress him, likely). He slid Logan back on the bed further so that he could get on top. His fingers slipped beneath the elastic of the blind guy's boxer briefs and slowly pulled down.

"Ohh," Logan hummed.

James ran his fingers along Logan's inevitably hard penis and gently stroked it. Logan whimpered in pleasure, toes curling. Now James leaned down and kissed him deeply on the lips. They made out quite passionately for a while as James continued to stroke Logan's dick. But then he broke off the kiss and crawled down. He lifted and spread Logan's legs, giving a full view of his butt. The smaller boy shuddered.

"You okay?" James asked.

"I'm embarrassed," Logan admitted.

"Why?"

"You can see everything."

"Yeah but I want to, and I like everything."

Logan inhaled deeply several times in an attempt to get mentally ready for this experience. He tried to relax his neck. All of the sudden, James's tongue ran along the entire length of his butt crack.

"Ohhh gosh!" Logan called out. His face turned bright red. "Ohhhh my gosh."

James circulated his tongue around the rim of his hole, coating it in his spit. Logan's fingers clawed into the pillows on the bed and he continued to cry out in pleasure.

"Do you like that?" James asked in a throaty groan.

"Uhh huh."

A finger pressed against the outside of Logan's asshole. He cried out as it slowly, slowly made its way inside.

"Don't tighten up too much," James said. "Try to relax."

Logan steadied his breathing as best as he could and calmed himself down. James's finger worked into his hole deeper, twisting a little as it went. Logan couldn't believe how good it felt. Carlos was right.

"Do you want to try something bigger?" James asked.

"Y-yeah."

He pulled his finger out gently, leaving Logan wondering what the next thing would feel like. He stayed on his back, legs spread, heart pounding, unable to detect when the penetration would occur. He heard the snapping of a bottle cap, but he didn't know what it was. James lubed up his penis and brought it over to his lover's butt. He touched the tip of his head to the hole and smacked it delicately. Logan braced himself but also tried to remain calm.

"Ready?" James asked.

"Uh huh."

Holding the base of his dick firm, he slowly pushed it inside Logan's asshole. The blind boy's mouth fell wide open and a smooth, sweet moan rolled out. A series of throaty gasps and groans continued as James eased himself inside.

"It's big," Logan moaned.

"Do you like it?"

"Uh huh."

"Good."

He went deeper, his cock throbbing harder with each inch that Logan could take. Slowly he began to rock his hips. Logan cried out in pleasure. James built up a soft rhythm, smacking his pelvis into Logan's butt.

"Ohh my gosh, ohh wow," Logan moaned. His breathing rapidly increased. James looked down on him and smiled. _Power trip_, he thought.

"You're so tight," James whispered. "You feel so good on me."

"O-okay, that's good," Logan said. He winced as James began to fuck him harder.

"Yeah that's real good." The taller of them touched a hand to Logan's face and gently stroked his cheek. He nuzzled back against James's hand, still constantly moaning.

"J-James," Logan cried.

"Yeah?"

"It feels so good."

James bit down on his lower lip and fucked Logan even harder now. Their flesh slapped together in unison with each thrust. Logan cried and groaned the entire time, clutching the pillows and wildly tossing his head from side to side. James struggled to get a free hand around Logan's dick, but once he did he started to jerk him off in rhythm with his thrusts. They humped and ground against each other, pulsating, throbbing, screaming as the height of ecstasy was met. All at once, James pinned Logan's hips down to the bed and smashed his dick deep inside him. A hot, sticky load of cum filled him up. Logan quivered and squealed as this all went down, and at last he had an orgasm as well. It shot out onto his tummy in a fine line.

"Oh my gosh," Logan whispered. His face was bright red and he was nearly out of breath. Tingles spiraled throughout his glowing body. James removed himself from his boyfriend and slowly lay down beside him, silently. "Oh my gosh it felt so good," Logan continued. "James?"

"Yeah," James answered quickly.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"I'm sooo tired," Logan whined.

"Me, too," James mumbled.

Logan clutched to his boyfriend's back and snuggled a little space for him to sleep. James sighed to himself. Happiness reverberated deep within his heart. He took an edge of the bed sheets and dabbed the tears from his eyes.


	16. Something Special

_'Make sure you brush and floss!'_

_'Yeah, always." I got up on my step stool and turned on the cold tap. I took my toothbrush, wet the tip and put some paste onto it. It was always important for me to stay clean. I brushed my teeth furiously for a while, rinsed and of course flossed. I threw the little strip away, dabbed my face dry and left the bathroom. _

_'Nice and clean, ready for bed?' my mom said as she handed me my pajamas. _

_'Yup!' I changed quickly and ran off to my bed._

_'Do you want a story?'_

_'Yes please.'_

_I crawled underneath the covers and poked my head out. Mom took her usual seat on the stool by my bed. She looked at the bookshelf built into the wall. 'Which story?'_

_'Three spinners!'_

_'Again? Haha alright.' She smiled warmly at me and took one of the Grimm's Fairy Tale volumes out of the shelf. The Three Spinners had practically been bookmarked from being held open so often. 'Are you excited for the game tomorrow?'_

_'Polar Bears!' I yelled. 'Polar Bears, Polar Bears!'_

_'We'll get you a toy polar bear, how about that?'_

_'Oh I would love that, mama. You know I've been wanting one.'_

_'Of course. Anything for Logie-Bear. Okay. _There once was a girl who was lazy, and refused to spin. No matter what her mother said, she could not make her…_'_

* * *

When James woke up, he immediately put his arm out to the side and groped around for Logan. He merely touched the silky bed sheets. He sat up in bed and looked around.

"Logan?"

No answer. He got up and put some basic clothes on. As he headed towards the bedroom door, he heard Logan talking on the other side.

"_I always loved to hear my mom read to me, comma, especially at night, period. Her voice would always put me to sleep, period_."

"Logan?" James called out as he walked into the living room. The blind boy was sitting on the sofa, holding his word processor in his lap.

"Oh, James," Logan said, startling. He clicked the device off. "I was just 'writing.'"

"Are you writing about your past?"

"Yeah. I've been cataloging my memories."

James sat down next to him and put his arms around his shoulders. "Mmmm good. Good for you. I'm glad." He put a bunch of kisses on his cheek. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah."

"When did you wake up?"

"Like an hour ago. You were snoring real loud, so I didn't wanna wake you up."

"Awww, you could have!" James grinned.

Logan touched the coffee table in front of him and put the word processor down there. He curled up on the sofa and embraced his boyfriend tightly. "I love you," he said sweetly.

"I love you too. How does your ass feel?"

"Fine."

"Great. Well, hate to ruin this morning, but I gotta head out early. Got a class and then work."

"Ohhh."

"Cheer up baby, I'll be home in the evening. You should do something with Kendall. Has he been up?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay. Lemme go crash their party." James giggled evilly and jumped up from the sofa. He shuffled down the hall to Kendall's room and knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Kendall called out from within.

"I'm going to class soon. Can you guys be around for Logan? It'll be a long day for him."

"Sure no problem!"

"Thanks a bunch. I'll bring back dinner, okay?"

"Sweeeeeet!" Carlos said. "I'll have to stay overnight again.

"Mmm you'd better."

_Okay, okay_, James thought. He rolled his eyes and went to get dressed. Logan continued to dictate his memory into the word processor.

"_I loved my mom more than anybody else, without a doubt. Even though my dad was a wonderful person, I felt safe with my mom. She was the foundation who would be there for me no matter what happened."_

Logan paused for a moment and sighed. He exhaled very slowly, remembering his mother. The more time that went by, the less he could recall what she looked like.

James came out of the bathroom finally, fully dressed and ready to take on the day. "I'll bring dinner home with me, how's that sound?"

"Sounds awesome, thank you."

The taller boy ran over to Logan and kissed him wetly on the lips. "Be good. Love you."

"Love you too."

James tousled his hair and left the apartment. Logan crumbled up on the sofa and sighed. He was hungry, but he didn't want to bother Kendall and Carlos. James should have made breakfast for him first. Wait, no! James had done _so _much for him, it was time for Logan to do something on his own. He got to his feet and slowly felt his way over to the kitchen. He ran his fingertips along the wall, slid them across the countertop until he found the refrigerator. He opened the door and touched until he found a gallon of milk. Well, it felt like milk. He opened it up and sniffed it. Yep, it was milk. He put it on the countertop and then started scanning for cereal. There were a few boxes of things sitting out. He flapped open one and stuck his hand in. It certainly felt like some sort of cereal. Now it was time to find a bowl. The first cabinet he opened has glasses. The second had large serving platters and mugs. The third, finally, had plates and bowls. Logan carefully took down a cereal bowl and set it down on the counter. Then he lifted the box of cereal and poured some into it. He continuously touched what was coming out to make sure it didn't fill up to high. When it seemed about right, he slowly poured milk over it. After he was done, he put everything away and eventually found a spoon. It would be too dangerous to take the bowl anywhere, so he just hunched over the counter and ate. Mission successful! Logan swelled with pride over this amazing feat. He fed himself!

"Yooooo Logan!" Carlos suddenly called out. Kendall followed behind. "'Sup, dude?"

"I just fixed cereal by myself," Logan said coyly.

"Ahh for real? Good job, man!" Carlos exclaimed. He patted Logan on the back.

"Yeah. I'm really happy! Now maybe James doesn't have to take care of me so much!"

"He'll be out all day, huh?" Kendall said.

"Uh huh. Do you think maybe we could do something? The three of us?" Logan suggested.

"Like what?"

"I dunno. I want to get out of the place."

"We can do that. I don't have training today," Carlos said.

"Training for what?" the blind boy asked.

"Police."

"Ohhh, really? Wow."

"Well we're gonna get dressed and then we can go out. How's that sound?" Kendall asked.

"Sounds good."

A little while later, the three of them were all ready to go. They didn't have any idea of what they would do, but Logan was confident that they would have fun.

Kendall took one arm and Carlos took the other. They walked out of the apartment complex and headed down the block.

"There's a bookstore, but I don't think that's any use for you, right?" Kendall said.

"No that's not true," said Logan. "James reads to me all the time. Could we look for another book together?"

"That's different," Carlos said.

"Could be fun. Let's try."

The doors of the bookstore slid open automatically and the three boys walked through. Suddenly a rush of warm air soared over them. Elevator music was playing over the speakers, and the place felt large. Logan breathed in calmly. It was comfortable inside the bookstore.

"What kind of book do you want?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know."

"Let's look at the bestsellers. Stuff that's hot right now," Carlos suggested, slightly more intelligent than usual. They took Logan over to the bestseller's table. Kendall picked up a small novel.

"_Chasing Dawn_," he said. "_A seemingly normal high schooler has a wicked secret; Ashley Griswald has been sleeping her way into good grades_."

"No," Logan said. "What else?"

"_Years and Beyond: Finding The Dead_," Kendall read off another title.

"No!" Logan cried.

Carlos held a paperback book in his hands now. He butted in between them and read the title. "_Blind Man."_

"Huh?" Logan asked. "What is that about?"

"_After a young man loses his eyesight, he relies on the help of others to get by._"

"Ohhh," Logan said. Kendall smiled. "Sounds like it's about me."

"Do you want that one?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah. I'll buy it." He held his hand out and Carlos put the book into it. "Where is the checkout?"

"You wanna go already?" Kendall said, and Logan nodded.

They bought the book and headed back out to the street.

"I want to get something for James," Logan said. "But what can I do?"

"Hmmmm," Kendall thought. "I don't know. He spoils himself, so he basically never needs anything."

"What does he like?"

"I guess…hmm…ah! That's it. Come this way."

Carlos and Kendall yanked Logan down to another store. They walked through double doors and Logan was hit with a potpourri of smells. Sweet, fruity, flowery; all sorts.

"Where are we?" Logan asked timidly.

"Bathworks!" Carlos and Kendall shouted like kids in a candy store.

"You should get stuff for a really nice bath," Kendall said. "James _loves _taking baths. Here. Smell these salts."

He held an open jar under Logan's nose. He inhaled deeply. "Lavender?" he asked.

"Yeah. Do you like it?"

"Mmmm it smells great!"

"How about _this_?" Carlos put another jar underneath the blind boy's nose.

"Ooo! What is it? Oranges?"

"Mandarin Grapefruit. Mmm. Yummy!"

"Oh gosh, how do I decide?"

"Let's just get a bunch of stuff!" Carlos exclaimed. He started piling things into Logan's arms. "Salts, bubble bath, fizzers, ooo massage oil. Hey Kendall, how about we get this? It's edible. Woah. Mm!"

"What flavors?" Kendall asked. He took the little glass bottle from Carlos's hand and looked it over. "Looks good. Yeah, let's get some."

"Ummmm is this enough?" Logan asked, giggling. He had a bunch of jars and bottles in his arms. "I don't even know what to do with it."

"We'll show you."

* * *

They came home and immediately started sorting through the bath products.

"James should be home soon," Kendall said. "So let's get everything ready. Carlitos, can you start the bath water? Extra caliente, okay?"

"Sure!" Carlos said and ran off to the bathroom.

"Okay," Kendall said, putting his attention back to Logan. "The bubble bath will go straight into the water. Then we stir the salts into it. This little bottle? It's oil. You can rub it all over each other. And the sugar scrub, too. When you're done, dry off and then smooth his body down with the lotion. Spa day!"

"It's so complicated," Logan sighed. "How will I remember?"

"Oh it's fine. James will know what to do at any rate."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah, come on." Kendall helped Logan up and walked him to the bathroom. Together, they poured in the salts and bubble bath, then Kendall put the oil and lotion by the side of the tub. He also took two clean towels and set them down on the edge.

"All ready to go!" Kendall said.

With the most perfect timing imaginable, James walked into the apartment. "Guys?" He called out. "I'm home!"

"Hey!" Logan yelled. He stumbled out of the bathroom and came bumbling down the hallway towards James's voice. "I have a surprise for you!"

"Really?!"

"Uh huh! Come here!"

"Haha well hold on! I have dinner. Are you hungry?"

"Nooo no come here!" Logan tugged on James's arm. Kendall and Carlos sideswiped the tall guy and stole the pizzas he had been carrying. Carlos opened up one of the boxes and his eyes grew wide.

"But!" James yelled.

"We'll keep it warm for you," Kendall said with a wink. James looked confused.

"What's going on, Logan?"

"Come to the bathroom."

James walked into the bathroom and saw the foamy tub waiting for them. He smiled real big and gave Logan a kiss. "How sweet," he whispered. "Let's get in."

The boys disrobed together and James stepped into the tub. He took Logan's hands and gently led him inside. "Okay, now sit real slow." Logan giggled and did as James instructed. They settled into the hot water and cuddled against each other.

"Feels so good!" Logan said.

"Yeah. This is amazing." James leaned back and pulled Logan into his lap. He put his arms around him and kissed his back. "Thank you so much baby."

"I wanted to do something special," said Logan. "Is this special enough?"

"Oh my god yes. This is exactly what I needed. And it's such an amazing, intimate moment for us to share."

"I'm so happy," Logan whispered.

"Want to be even happier?"


	17. Pop!

"What do you mean, 'want to be even happier?'" Logan asked.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you, too."

"What is it?"

"I'll show you soon. Let's just enjoy this moment right now."

"Mmmm okay." Logan relaxed into James's chest and let the steamy water lap up around him. The taller of them kept his arms fixed around Logan's waist and held him like that, steadily breathing and with a content smile across his face.

The bath continued like that for some time. Once their skin began to get uncomfortably pruny it was obviously about time to leave. James toweled himself and Logan off, and then they slicked each other down with the lotion.

"It'll repair any dryness to your skin," James said. "It's a good idea to always moisturize after bathing." He chuckled and smear a swath across Logan's chest.

"It's cold," Logan hissed.

"Yeah sorry, that'll happen. You do me now."

"Do you think I can?"

"Sure, uh huh. Here." He put the bottle in his hands. "Push some out onto your fingers and just rub it into my body."

There was no way Logan would fail at this, not after feeding himself earlier. He could do it. He could do this for James. A bit of velvety lotion oozed onto his fingertips and then he reached out and rubbed it on James's chest. He opened his palm flat to really get it on there. James hummed to himself softly as Logan worked his hands all over his body; it felt _so _good. Unfortunately it was over before too long.

"I'm hungry," Logan said.

"Me, too. Let's hope the guys haven't eaten it all."

"Would they do that?" Logan asked, sounding way too worried.

"No, no. I'm kidding. Come on."

They both put robes on. James took the shorter boy's hand and led him back out to the living room. Carlos and Kendall were diving headfirst into the pizza.

"I DIDN'T KNOW THE SECOND BOX WAS CINNAMON STICKS!" Carlos screamed.

"Shhhh," Kendall hissed. "Not so loud, what the heck.

James chuckled and walked over to where the boxes were open. "You want a slice of pizza, Logan?"

"Please."

They split up what was left and ate in harmony. Carlos was still blabbering about the food, but Carlos is Carlos.

"Did you tell James about the new book?" Kendall asked. He finished up his last slice and dabbed the sides of his mouth on a napkin.

"No."

"New book, huh?" James asked.

"Yeah. It's about a blind guy, just like me. It's sort of weird."

"Ohhhh. Well, we'll have to read it soon, won't we?"

"Yeah!" Logan's face lit up.

"What else did you guys do?" James asked.

"I guess that's it really," replied the blind boy. "We went out, wandered, then just relaxed at home."

"He is fun," Carlos said, pointing to Logan.

"I know, right?" James said with a grin. He gave Logan a kiss on the cheek.

"So what is this surprise you have for me?" Logan asked quietly.

"Not yet."

Kendall and Carlos exchanged looks. "What surprise?" Carlos asked.

"Not yet!" James snapped.

Logan kept eating his pizza and smiled. James was funny when he pretended to get mad; his voice would grow high, and he could only imagine what happened to his face. Logan really, really wanted to know what James looked like. He felt perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"You want to start reading your new book?" James asked.

"Uh huh."

"Alright. Let's go to our room."

Logan nodded silently and took James's hand as they left the living room. Carlos was digging into the cinnamon sticks now. "Can't believe they didn't want any," he said solemnly.

"Leave some. They will."

The Latino shoved a few into his mouth and then close the box. He snuggled up to Kendall and chewed.

"What do you think?" Kendall asked.

"Not a lot," Carlos said. "Really not a lot."

"No, no; I mean what do you think _about them_?"

"James and Logan?"

"Yeah," Kendall said, narrowing his eyes. He touched the back of Carlos's head. "I wonder if this is really a good idea for James. Logan is cool and everything, but he's real high maintenance."

"Someone's gotta love him," Carlos said.

"You're right. But still…"

"James seems happy."

"He does…"

"Hmm?" Carlos looked up at Kendall and saw that he was making a rather disappointed looking face. "What's up?"

"Ehh, maybe I'm just feeling selfish," the blond began with a shrug. "But I feel like he's made himself a better person for Logan. When we were dating, he was such an arrogant boob. It made out relationship super-duper difficult. I guess…I guess the way he handles himself now, we could have gotten along better."

"Bitter much?"

"Just a lil."

"That's life, dude."

"I guess so."

Carlos sat up real quick and climbed into Kendall's lap, facing him. "But you got me now!"

"Yeah, I do," Kendall said, pressing their noses together. He stuck out his tongue and licked Carlos across the lips.

"Finger me," Carlos said quietly.

"Ahh, right now?"

"Yeah why not? They're gonna be in their room probably for the rest of the night. Logan can't see and if James comes out, oh well."

"I dunno."

"Cooome onnnnn! Finger me!" He started bouncing his bubbly butt in Kendall's lap.

"Okay, but not here. In my room."

"Ugh, fine."

They both got up and slithered off to Kendall's bedroom. Next door, James and Logan were making themselves nice and comfortable on the bed, getting ready to read the new book. James was on his side with Logan's back to his chest. He held his arms around him and the book a bit above Logan's head so that he could read it softly into his ear.

"Comfy?" James asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"Yup. Okay. Here we go." James cleared his throat twice. "It's called _Blind Man_.

"_I had lived the life of any normal little boy. I attended school, played sports, had friends and a loving family. We lived in a small town just outside of Oklahoma City._"

The reading was cut short by a series of melodic and loud poundings against the wall. James shouted out angrily and banged on the wall. "GUYS! REALLY?" he yelled.

"Sorry!" Carlos and Kendall both apologized.

James curled up against Logan again and shook his head angrily. "I don't believe it."

"Huh?"

"I want to have a nice relaxing evening with you, I don't want to hear them going at it like monkeys."

"I don't mind."

"Yeah but I do."

"Why does it bother you so much? You like to hear us having sex, right?"

"Well yeah, but I have you."

"What do you mean?"

James sighed and put the book down. He turned Logan over and looked at his funny eyes. "I used to date Kendall, right?"

"Riiight…"

"That used to be _me _screaming for him. I guess it bothers me to hear him with someone else."

"Do you want him back?"

"No, but still."

"Ohh…well maybe we should just have sex, too?"

"I don't wanna have sex when they are. That's weird."

"Why? What if I really want to?"

"You do?" James's eyebrows raised up real high.

"Yeah." Logan hugged James real tight. He cuddled against his chest and exhaled real loud.

"That's so sweet," James said. "But how about I give you your surprise first?"

"Oh yeah? Now?"

"Yep. Hang tight."

The taller boy sat up, climbed over Logan and took his pants off of a hook on the wall. He groped around into the pocket and pulled something out. He quickly returned to his place beside his boyfriend. Logan waited patiently. He had no idea what this could possibly be or what James was doing. There was a small _clack _sound, and James picked up Logan's hand. Something thin and cold wrapped around his finger.

"What is this?" Logan asked. He took his other hand and felt the top. There were three little stones. "A ring?"

"A proposal."

"Proposal? Proposing what?"

"Proposing for you to marry me. I want you to marry me."

"Ohh…" Logan swallowed real hard, touching the ring over and over. He started to get nervous.

"Will you?" James asked, now also feeling nervous. "Will you marry me?"


	18. Too Soon?

_"What do you want to be when you grow up?"_

_On our way to the hockey game, I sat in the backseat and prodded my sister with random questions. She rolled her eyes and looked out the window._

_"I don't know," she said. _

_"No idea? No dreams or anything?"_

_"Why are you asking?" She looked over at my quickly and raised an eyebrow._

_"I dunno."_

_Mom looked behind the seat at the both of us. "What are you kids talking about?"_

_"Logan's being a weirdo," Presley said snottily. _

_"Don't call him a weirdo," mom said. I heard my father chuckle._

_"He wants to know what I'll be when I grow up."_

_"What do you want to be?" Mom asked. I nodded and smiled at my sister smugly, but she sighed real loud._

_"I dunno. Get married or something."_

_I giggled._

_"What do you want, Logan?" asked my mother. She looked right at me and grinned._

_"I dunno. Get married or something," I copied my sister. The idea of getting married sounded fun. What kind of person would I end up with? It seemed weird that I would be a husband someday. _

* * *

Logan remained silent and James started to feel like a fool, thinking maybe this was a bad idea.

"I," James continued hesitantly. "I want you to know that I'll always be here. When you were upset the other day because you didn't know where I was, it really made me think. I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, and that I'll always come home to you. So? So? Will you be my husband?"

"Isn't it a little fast?" Logan asked quietly.

"Yeah but I don't care." James took both of Logan's hands and held them tight. "_I. Love. You._"

The blind boy slowly released himself from James's hands and put his up on his face. He cradled his cheeks, wishing he could look at him. Then Logan sat forward and placed a tiny kiss onto James's lips. Silence surrounded them, but he finally broke it with a tender whisper.

"Yes," Logan said. "I will."

James sighed in relief. He slumped against Logan and held onto him tight. "I love you," James whispered back.

"I love you, too."

"I'll do anything for you."

"I wish I could do anything for you."

"Well…"

"Hmmm?"

"You can do something for me, if you want."

"What is that?" Logan asked innocently.

"Can you suck my dick?"

"Suck it?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you. Do you want to?"

"I'll do it," Logan said. He smiled.

James lay down on his back and gently led Logan's face down to his crotch. He took his cock in his own hand and gently stroked it.

"What do I do?" Logan asked.

"Put your hand on it," James said. Logan complied. He wrapped his fingers tenderly around the width of it.

"Now?"

"Put it in your mouth. At your own pace. Open up wide and slowly ease it inside. But make sure you have lots of spit and use your tongue. Don't feel pressured."

"Oh, okay. Well tell me if I do anything wrong, okay?" Logan smiled. Opened his lips and stretched them around the head of James's dick.

"Ah…ah…suck on it, okay?" James groaned.

Logan did his best to suck on the dick. He let some spit dribble out from his lips and run down the length of the shaft.

"Can you go a little further, baby?"

Slowly, the blind boy pushed his mouth further and further over James's penis. Sucking and now licking, he took it fairly deep. James groaned and gyrated his hips upward. "Oh my God," he moaned. "Feels so good. Ohhh man. Holy shit."

Logan smiled with the cock in his mouth. James reached out and gently guided his head up and down along his cock.

"Is that okay?" James asked.

"Mhhmm," Logan hummed.

James continued to move Logan's head until he worked it himself. He sucked and sucked, keeping his lips tight around the shaft.

"Oh God, Logan, oh my GOD!" James shouted. "Stop stop stop." He moved Logan's head away.

"What's wrong?"

"It's too good," James laughed. "I don't want to nut just yet."

"Nut?"

"Orgasm. I don't want to do it like that. Sit on it."

"Sit on it?"

"Yeah, just sit on it. Okay, get on your feet and squat over me. Face my feet."

Logan shifted apprehensively and carefully put his legs on either side of James's body. He put his butt to his boyfriend's face, just a few inches above his hips. James held onto his own dick, slathered it with lube, and touched the tip against Logan's ass.

"Comfortable?"

"Kinda," Logan said quietly.

"Take your hands and spread your butt cheeks, okay? And then I'll put my dick inside."

"Okay."

He complied, taking his cheeks in his hands and spread them wide. James's penis throbbed as he saw the tight little hole he was about to conquer. Logan was shaking a little bit.

"You alright?" James asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just, I dunno, a little nervous."

"It's fine. You like it anyway."

"True…"

James jerked himself off real quick and then pushed up against Logan's asshole. He slid inside just a bit. Logan cried out in pleasure and pain, but remained steady on his feet. Once James had about an inch of ass covering his cock, he placed his hands on Logan's hips and slowly lowered him down.

"Take it, baby," James said.

"Mmmm it feels good," Logan moaned. He began to bob up and down on James's thick cock. "Sooo good."

"I love you," James groaned.

"Love you too," the smaller boy whined. He touched his left hand with his right, feeling over the little ring. Three smooth stones faceted into a thin band. Logan had nothing to lose, getting married, but he wondered if James would be happy like that. It was _really _fast.

"Ride that dick baby," James said. "Ohh fuck, ride that fucking dick, Logan."

"Aahhh, yeah," Logan moaned. He bounced on James's big fat dick, taking it deeper and deeper. He replaced his left hand with how own dick and began to jerk himself off. It felt awkward but good. James thrust his hips against Logan's ass, pounding and slapping his skin in pleasant ecstasy. Beads of sweat raced down Logan's back. He sat far enough that he took the entire length of the cock.

"Oh shit," James cried. "You're taking it all. Ohh, fuck. Fuck! Fuck that dick, Logan! Oh! OH!" He grabbed Logan's body and jammed his waist as hard as he could into it, crying out as a thick, creamy load filled his ass. Logan whined at his actions.

"Was that it?" Logan asked. "Was that your orgasm?"

"Y-yeah," James panted. He dropped his hands from Logan's body and flopped back against the bed. "_Damn._ What about you?"

Logan sat up enough that James's deflating erection slid out of his ass, followed by a hot load of cum. He winced as it oozed out, and then he turned around to face James. He smiled coyly and showed him the stream of his own semen on his palm.

"You came?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeh, just softly I guess."

"That's cute."

Logan laid his chest flat down on James's and cuddled up against him. They kissed a few times. James touched the side of Logan's face, tracing small circles with his index finger, and then held him to the crook of his neck. He ran his fingers through his short, dark hair and sighed.

"You'll be a great husband," James whispered.

"I dunno. But you will. I know that."

"I'll try. Does it make you happy?"

"What, getting married?"

"Yeah."

"It does," Logan mumbled. "I never thought it would happen to me, but I always wanted it. When I was little, I used to dream about getting married."

"To a woman?"

"Honestly, I never thought about _who _I would marry. Women seemed funny. It felt like I wouldn't make a good male sorta guy."

"Male sorta guy? Hahaha! You're adorable." James hugged Logan real tight and kissed him on the top of the head. "Well, we are gonna be engaged for a little while. We can start planning the marriage, but not too soon."

"Okay. It's up to you."

"Mmmm alright. Are you sleepy?"

"Yeah. This orgasm stuff makes me super tired."

"Uh huh, it does that." They snuggled against each other a bit tighter and slowly drifted off into sleep.


	19. Desperation

James was a magical person. Over the last 15 or so years, Logan had perpetually convinced himself that he would never have a good life. He thought he would die young, alone and depressed. Then James rolled into the picture and changed everything. Sure, he moved a little fast, but after spending that much time completely isolated and lonely, Logan was thankful for what he had to offer. He worked miracles and Logan was now wondering how he could possibly make it up to James. Sexual favors worked, but he hoped there was more.

Sleep that night yielded strange dreams for Logan. They weren't nightmares or at all scary, but absolutely weird. He was wandering around as a child, up and down a coastline. He picked up numerous seashells, testing each one for the "ocean sound" inside it and then stowed them in the bottom of his t-shirt, which he held out like a pouch. Then a pig sprung its head out of the sand and stuck its tongue out at Logan. That was the last detail he could immediately remember.

The morning rolled in like a hazy cloud. James woke up all at once and saw Logan still fast asleep, with ribbons of sunlight tickling his face. The taller guy gently put his hand on Logan's cheek and touched his soft skin. His mind began to wander around, creating elaborate scenarios of what their wedding would be like. They could have a small service and tell hardly anybody, or it could be huge. It really depended on how much Logan would be willing to put out for it. It didn't matter to James, since the most important part wouldn't change.

Logan's eyes fluttered. He groaned and let out a hissy breath of air all at once.

"You awake?" James whispered.

"Mhmm."

"You still mean what you said last night, right?"

"What did I say?"

"About marrying me."

"Yeah. I still mean it." Logan smiled real cute.

"I don't want to rush you into anything," James said, thumbing over his lips. "But I _so_ don't want you to feel alone. I'm not going anywhere."

Logan placed his hand over top of James's and slowly laced their fingers together. "What did you want to be? When you were little?"

"Uuhh…I'm not sure. Why?"

"I was just thinking about it, that's all." Logan giggled to himself quietly and turned onto his back. "You know, I could never figure it out when I was small. Everyone had a dream except for me."

"Dream…yeah, I guess I had some dreams."

"Like what?"

"Well, when I was in my teens, I thought I was going to be a model. I worked real hard at getting in shape, but when it came down to it, I guess I didn't have it in me."

"A model?"

"Yeah."

Logan smiled. By now he was used to James's body and knew it well, but the reality of his face remained a mystery. If he had aspired to be a model, he must be really,_ really _good looking.

"Can we read more of the new book?" Logan asked.

"This early?"

"Yeah. We didn't get far."

James grumbled and rolled over to his nightstand. He took _Blind Man _in his hands and flopped it open to the first page, where they had barely made any progress the night before. James continued to read.

"_It's strange to have your life flipped upside down in the matter of minutes, especially if you are just a child. Can you imagine being unable to watch yourself grow up? All you can do it touch your face and piece together strange pieces of what you thought you knew._"

"Hmmm…" Logan hummed. He put his chin on James's bicep. "I can relate."

"I know, right? It's sorta freaky."

"Keep going."

"_When I was a little boy, I had a fantastic dream of being a painter. I would beg my parents to take me to art exhibits, where I would spend seemingly impossible amounts of time examining the paintings. Every brush stroke was interesting. I wanted to make something beautiful with my hands; something that would make others happy._

_"But when I lost my sight, my dream came crashing down. It was physically and emotionally crippling, knowing that I would never accomplish anything."_

"Ahh…"

"You okay?" James asked.

"Y-yeah."

"Hitting home?"

"Yeah…"

Their reading session was cut short when they heard a loud noise on the other side of the wall. James perked up and tried to listen.

"What was that?" Logan asked.

"Kendall and Carlos…shhh."

It sounded like they were arguing. There was a thud sound and then Kendall shrieked, "Well maybe you should just leave!"

"_Maybe. I. Will_." Carlos threw an answer back at him and then it all felt silent. Logan put his fingers up to his lips and made a worried face.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"I dunno, I dunno. Stay here, let me go ask him."

"O-okay."

James stepped out of bed and slipped his robe on. He swallowed hard, left the room and went over to Kendall's room. It was still quiet. He knocked real soft. "It's me," James announced.

"Ahhh I don't wanna talk, man," Kendall said within.

"Everything okay?"

"No. He's gone. He's done."

"Well. Um. Okay. If you're sure."

"I'll tell you later," Kendall sighed.

Unable to help any further, James returned to his room.

"What happened?" Logan asked. He was sitting up in bed now.

"He doesn't want to talk about it now," James said with a disappointed sigh. "Says Carlos is gone. Man, that's a shame."

"Oh no…"

"It's alright. Kendall is a big boy. But hey, I gotta get dressed and head into work. You going to be okay?"

"Uh huh. Like I have any other choice," Logan said cutely.

"Could you just check on Kendall at some point?"

"Okay."

James got ready for the day and made his way out and into it. The proposal really did help; Logan felt way more confident about James returning in the evening. He kept touching the stones and giggling to himself. But the afternoon wasn't all wonderful. As Logan found himself sitting in the living room, dictating more precious memories to his word processor, he suddenly realized that he hadn't heard Kendall at all. He decided to see what he was up to. Logan didn't know anything about break ups, but it must be hard. He stood up and slowly made his way over to the hallway, tracing a path with his fingertips along the wall. Kendall's room was totally alien to him, but he could at least figure which door was his. He knocked a few times, but there was no answer. That was funny, because he definitely would have heard Kendall leaving. Logan decided to go inside. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside. He heard Kendall making some sort of noise…coughing? Weezing. Gasping.

"Kendall?" Logan called out.

"Lo-Lo-…uh…Lo…" the sound of the blond sputtering came from the ground. Logan's heart suddenly raced. Something was terribly wrong.

"Kendall? Are you okay?"

"Lo….uhh…Lo…"

Logan began to panic. He reached around and tried to find Kendall. It sounded like the coughing was coming from the ground, so he got down on his knees and started to feel across the carpet. In the middle of the room, he touched a leg. It was convulsing rapidly.

"Kendall? What's wrong?" Logan cried. He patted his palms along Kendall's body until he got to his head. Kendall's entire body was shaking and he didn't speak, just muttered a few random syllables. Logan didn't know what to do. What was wrong? Then he heard a little voice in the back of his head.

_Ca…call 9-11…_

It was the echo of his sister's voice. Logan gathered his courage and tried to find a phone. He patted down Kendall's thin body. He had a cellphone in his pocket, but it was a touchscreen and Logan didn't know how to use any buttons on it. James didn't have a house line, right?

"What do I do? What do I do?" Logan cried out in desperation.

Kendall made a noise that sounded like his mouth was foaming and wet. He managed to squeeze a little word out. "Neighbor," he gargled.

Logan got up to his feet and hobbled out of the bedroom. He was working as quickly as he could, but his steps had to be so careful that he couldn't go too fast. He teetered through the living room and to the front door. There, he managed to get it open and felt down the side of the wall until he found another door. He knocked and knocked. Soon, it opened up.

"Uh, hello?" a woman's voice asked.

"My roommate is sick," Logan sputtered out. "Help. Please help. Call 9-11. I can't see."

"Oh, my," the woman said. "Where is your roommate?"

"Over here. Can you lead me please?"

The woman nodded and took Logan's arm. He told her where to go and they made it back to Kendall's room.

"Oh my God!" the woman yelled out. She dialed the emergency number on her phone, and soon the ambulance began to sound.


	20. Emotionally Volatile

He always ended up alone and afraid, waiting in the hallway of a hospital. Why did fate have to conduct itself in such a way? What was he doing wrong? He didn't even know what happened to Kendall or if he would be alright. Logan collapsed into his hands and began to cry. Why? _Why_? If only he could see, he could understand.

"Logan!"

A familiar voice perked him right up. He looked in the direction of his name being called out, and soon James ran up to him and took a seat beside him on the bench.

"What's going on?" James asked.

"I don't know," Logan cried. "I don't know what happened. Kendall was sick. I had to get the neighbor and she called 9-11."

James stared at Logan with his mouth open. "You found him?"

"Yeah."

"Oh wow, Logan…" James couldn't believe what Logan was saying. "That's so brave of you."

"No, it wasn't. I couldn't do anything. And I don't know if he'll be okay. I don't even know what happened!"

"Logan," James cooed. He put his arms around Logan's shoulders and put a little kiss on his cheek. He smiled and breathed heavily. "That's amazing."

They waited for about an hour until finally a nurse came out of the room in front of them. "He's coming to," she said to Logan. "You can come in and say hi if you'd like to."

"Is she talking to me?" Logan whispered to James.

"Yeah."

"Take me into the room," he said.

James helped him up, took his hand and lead him into Kendall's hospital room. They stepped inside and James gasped to himself. Kendall was hooked up to a few tubes. He had deep bags under his eyes and he looked absolutely horrible.

"James," Kendall said hoarsely. "When did you get here?"

"What the fuck happened, man?" James asked, ignoring his friend's question.

Kendall shook his head. "Logan," he said. "Come here."

James helped Logan get right up to the bed. Kendall reached out and took Logan's face in his weak hands. He moved his head close to his and smiled.

"You saved my life," Kendall whispered.

"I did?" Logan asked innocently.

"Yeah. I overdosed on pain killers. A few more minutes and I would've gone out cold."

"Why did you do that?" James snapped, half angry and half worried. "Why the hell did you do that?"

Kendall released Logan from his hands and retreated back to his sides. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Stupid," he said. "After Carlos left, I thought there was no point in going on without him."

"That's silly, Kenny," James said. "I mean like, why did he leave?"

"I…" Kendall sighed again. "I don't know. He was all angry 'cause I…I dunno."

James could tell that Kendall knew what the argument was about, but he didn't want to talk about it. A few years ago, James probably would have harassed Kendall until he told him, but he knew better now. He respected that.

"I don't know when I'll be outta here," Kendall said. "You guys take care of yourselves, okay? Hey, what's that?" He pointed at Logan's left hand.

"Ohh, hehe," James giggled. "Well…."

"You didn't!" Kendall gasped but James just smiled cutely. "You DID!"

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked.

"Well, you know, hehe…" James mumbled. He squeezed Logan's hand.

"Dude, that's too soon," Kendall said, trying not to sound condescending. Logan realized what they were talking about then.

"I know, but I don't care," James explained.

"Ooof…"

"What?"

"I dunno man," Kendall sighed. "Doesn't seem like a good idea to me."

"We aren't getting married tomorrow you know. Still a few months. Right, Logan?"

"Uh huh!"

"Well anyway, you give me a call when you're ready to come home, okay?" James asked Kendall and he nodded in agreement. They said their goodbyes and went on their way.

"I wonder what happened with him and Carlos?" Logan asked.

"No idea. It must have been pretty bad to push Kendall over the edge like that. I can't believe it. He's the last guy I would ever expect to do a thing like that."

"We almost lost him…" Logan said sadly, turning his head down. They left through the doors of the hospital. "You drove here, right?"

"Yeah of course."

He took Logan out to where he had parked his pick-up truck. The weather was getting progressively colder these days, and soon Logan would need some better winter close. He hopped up inside the truck and buckled himself in, and then James went around to the driver's door and got in as well. He started the engine and backed out of the space. Logan pressed his forehead against the window with a frown.

"What's going on?" James asked.

"I don't want to lose anybody else."

"Well yeah, nobody wants to lose people. It's life though, baby. People are gonna die."

Logan sighed real loud. "But can't it wait a little bit?"

"We can't choose, silly."

"I…I know. But, still…"

"Logan," James said rather seriously. They stopped at a red light and he looked over at his fiancé. "Do you realize that you _saved _Kendall's life? If you hadn't found him like that, he would have died. You saved it all."

"Well, I guess…"

"Something wrong?"

"I'm afraid I'll lose another. Afraid I'll lose you."

"But you didn't lose Kendall at all. Come on. Logan. You _saved _him. How many times do I have to outline this?"

"I guess."

James sighed stiffly.

"What?" Logan asked.

They finally turned into the parking garage and James made his way to a space without saying anything.

"What?" Logan asked again, starting to get concerned.

"Nothing." The growing tone of resistance in James's voice made Logan worry. He parked the truck and shut off the engine.

"What did I do?" the blind boy asked.

James let out another long sigh. "It seems like you don't _want _to do anything."

"What do you mean…"

"Being blind made you lose confidence in ever doing anything with your life. You convinced yourself that you'll never accomplish the things you wanted to. Now, you _actually _make a difference but you're reluctant to accept it. Do you enjoy being useless?"

"Wh…what?"

James put his face in his hands and breathed loudly, while Logan sat there with his eyes welling up with tears. It was the first time James had ever said anything cruel to him, and it burned deep. James looked over at him. "Ohh," he cried out and gave Logan a hug. "I'm sorry. Maybe it came out wrong."

"How could you say that…" Logan mumbled between sniffs. "I don't enjoy being useless. I don't like it that you have to take care of me."

"Then why can't you accept that you saved a life today?"

"I guess it's just too hard for me to handle. Like, I have convinced myself I won't accomplish anything. To be able to actually help someone else is difficult to fathom."

"Well," James said. "You did an amazing thing. I really wonder what happened between them, but either way you seriously saved Kendall's life."

"Th-thank you," Logan whispered.

"But hey, he's going to be okay, and we'll find out eventually. Let's go inside and have something to eat, okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

They got out of the truck and headed up to their apartment. As they came down the hallway, James spotted Carlos standing at their front door.

"Hey," James called out. Carlos looked up suddenly.

"Oh. Hey guys. Is Kendall home?"

"No. He's uhhh…why are you here?"

"I feel stupid about the fight we had, kinda wanted to apologize."

"Ohhh," James and Logan said at the same time. The taller boy then asked, "What exactly happened?"

"Ugh. It's stupid. We're both stupid." James noticed that Carlos was holding flowers behind his back. "I was a lil' pissed 'cause he kept talking about you, James. Not in a romantic way, but he kept bring you up. So I told him I was mad about it, and he said if I don't like his friends, then I shouldn't like him. And it went back and forth like that for a while. And then _maybe _I _sorta_ told him to drop dead."

"What?" James asked. His face turned pale. "Why did you say that?"

"'Cause I was pissed off! I dunno!"

"Jeez," James sighed. "Do you want to come in?"

"Okay."

He unlocked the door and led the other guys inside. The three of them sat down in the living room. Carlos casually tossed the bouquet of roses onto the coffee table. "So why are you all weirded out acting?" he asked.

"Carlos," James said nervously. "Well, see, Kendall is in the hospital right now."

"_What_?" Carlos gasped. He got that serious face that rarely occurs. "Why?"

"He tried to kill himself."

"Ohh fuck," Carlos whined. "What the fuck. Oh no. No, no no. That's…shit." He crumbled up on the sofa and started to tear up. "That's my fault."

"It's not your fault," Logan chimed in. He tried to reach out to Carlos but was unsuccessful. "Nobody can make somebody do that."

"But I told him to die. Oh my God. I had no idea he…I had no idea he was so emotionally volatile."

"I didn't either," said James. "I never would have guessed _Kendall _could pull a stunt like that."

"Ohhh God," Carlos continued to cry. "Ohhh my God. Whyyyy…" He clutched his heart as if it was literally breaking.

"It's okay," James said. "He's going to be fine."

"Kendall…"

"Do you want a beer or something?" James suggested.

"Yeah. If you don't mind."

The pain didn't cease, but James and Logan did their best to help Carlos out through this problem. He stayed for dinner and then proceeded to get drunk on the sofa. By the time ten o'clock rolled around, Carlos had passed out and James decided to call it a night.

"I have class early tomorrow," he said. "We'll see how Carlos is when we wake up. It's fine if he stays here."

"Oh, okay," Logan agreed. He followed James off to bed. "I don't feel like reading."

"No? Not at all?"

"No. I just want to sleep. This was a big day. I feel emotionally overwhelmed."

"That makes two of us. Well, three I guess. No, probably four." James pulled his shirt off over his head and put it on a hanger. He stretched out real tall and yawned big. Logan giggled and crawled under the covers.

"I'm just glad everyone's alive and okay," Logan said.

"Me, too," James agreed. He got in bed next to his boyfriend and gave him a warm hug. "And it will stay that way for a long, long time."


	21. The Kenlos Parable

_Even before I lost my vision, I had trouble believing in myself. It was never my strong suit. Of course, I had big dreams when I was little and I even intended to follow them up until I went blind, but I was always lacking in self-confidence. It seemed I always relied on others to give me that boost._

_When I was 5 years old, I was playing on a jungle gym in the neighborhood. My mother was sitting on a nearby bench reading a book as I attempted to climb to the top. It was mighty high, though. I was a little kid, even for my age, and watching all the bigger children scale the monstrosity with ease was rather disheartening. I ran over to my mom and pulled at her pants leg. _

_"I wanna get to the top, mama," I said._

_"You can do it, honey," mom answered. "It's not so hard. Look, all the other kids can do it. I know you can!"_

_I smiled big and ran back to the jungle gym. The tower of tangled metal stood before me like Mount Everest, and I was just a tiny backpacker with little experience. I braced myself. I knew I could do it. I put my hands on the highest point I could reach and hoisted myself up onto the first row of metal rods. I did this again. Twice more. I was a couple feet above the ground now but the top was still far away._ Really _far away. I looked over my shoulder and saw my mom, way back on the ground. She waved and blew a kiss at me. Yes! I could do this! I focused my attention back to the top and my stomach sank. No, no! I couldn't do this! But I was stuck. I couldn't back down now. I swallowed hard and climbed another row of metal bars. _

_A big kid swooshed past me real fast and almost bumped me off of the entire thing. I let out a squeal to myself and held on tight. Looking up, I saw a constant traffic of children coming and going, as if climbing this thing were no big deal. Why couldn't I do it? _Okay_, I thought. _Gotta do it now_._

_I put my hand out to the next highest bar, but I miscalculated and slipped. I screamed and braced my body for impact with the ground, but somebody grabbed my hand. I looked up and saw a boy holding onto me. He smiled warmly and said, "It's okay, I got you!"_

_I laughed, he laughed, and I got back to the position I had been in prior to my fall._

_"You want to go to the top?" he asked. _

_"Y-yeah," I said quietly._

_"C'mon, it's easy. Here."_

_ He took my hand and helped me climb up. Step by step, we made it. Finally, I had reached the summit! I looked out all around and saw real far. My mom was way down at the base, back to reading her book. It wasn't so hard after all. I smiled real big and went to thank the boy that helped me, but he was gone._

* * *

Logan woke up when James started to cover him with kisses. The taller boy made a trail of tiny pecks along his chest and up to his ear. "Good morning," he whispered.

"Hheey," Logan groaned.

"Can I fuck you?"

"Oh…not now."

"Do you wanna sleep longer?"

"Yeah. I woke up a lot last night."

"Awww why's that?"

"Just didn't sleep well."

"I'm sorry." James hugged Logan and propped his chin up on his sternum. "You know, you can always wake me up if you're having trouble."

"I don't want to bother you."

"Oofff. You're hopeless. But anyway," James sat up real quick. "I have class early. So you can sleep in late okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Mmmm alright. Be good, baby," he leaned over and gave Logan a little kiss on the cheek. "I'll be home ASAP."

"Yaaaay…"

When James left, Carlos was still hanging on the edge of the sofa and snoring loudly, but by the time Logan got up and stumbled out to the kitchen, he was awake.

"Ooooo!" Carlos yelled out as a shirtless Logan came out of the bedroom. Logan squealed and jumped.

"I didn't know you were here!" he shrieked.

"Ya sorry," Carlos apologized. "I just woke up like, two minutes ago."

"It's oka-a-ay," Logan said, both wincing and laughing. "You can have breakfast here, but I can't make it for you."

"No worries, man. Thanks though."

"How do you feel?" The blind boy managed to get out the milk and cereal, which was becoming routine now, and fixed himself something to eat. He leaned over the counter to consume it.

"Hung over."

"Hung over what?"

"No, no. That means, uhhhh, how do I explain…" Carlos watched Logan eating and made a frown. This was too much brain work for any time of day, let alone the morning. "When you feel like shit after drinking a lot."

"Ohh. I'm sorry you feel bad."

"It's fine, my fault."

"Are you going to go see Kendall at the hospital?"

"No."

"Oh? Why not?"

"I dunno if he wants to see _me_. I'd hate to do anything that will upset him, y'know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Logan finished his cereal, dumped the bowl in the sink and carefully made his way over to the sofa, where he assumed Carlos still was. He sat down beside him.

"Do you think he'll take you back?" Logan asked.

"No idea. I hope so."

"You didn't really want to break up, did you?"

"Noooooo, not at all. Things just got out of control all at once. I dunno, man. It was weird. But it really upsets me…"

"What is so upsetting?"

"He _must _have been hurting," Carlos explained diligently. "He _must _have been feeling a lot of pain, even before our fight. I don't know why he didn't tell me. He acted like nothing was wrong. Honestly? I think when I yelled at him, it just happened to be the one thing that sent him over the edge. I don't believe my comment was isolated in making him upset."

Logan nodded as he listened to Carlos. He thought it was interesting how complicated everybody's lives are. Then, out of the blue, he asked, "How does it feel to be in love?"

"In love?" Carlos threw back at him. He chuckled to himself. "Aren't you in love with James?"

"Yeah I _think _so, but I don't have anything to compare it to, so, yeah."

"Ohhh, I see. Well, being in love is like…ugh…it's hard to explain. Love is a really hard emotion to explain. But if you're madly in love with someone, you feel like, sorta like they mean everything to you. You don't want to do anything without them, and you would do _aannnything _for them. You would _die _for them. You wanna spend the rest of your life and then some with 'em."

"Mm…" Logan sighed softly. He pressed his hands up to his chest and smiled.

"What are you doing?" Carlos asked with a giggle.

"I _am _in love with James," Logan whispered. "And James is in love with me."

"Wait, what's that?" Carlos pointed at Logan's left hand. He poked the engagement ring. "That's new, isn't it?"

"Yes. It's from James."

"Is it a…"

"Yeah."

"Niiiice!"

"You aren't going to scold me on how it's 'too soon'?" Logan asked, somewhat teasingly. But Carlos shook his head a whole lot.

"No, why would I?" he asked.

"That's what Kendall said. Too soon."

"Really? Because he asked _me_ to marry _him _last week."

"Wait…he did?" Logan asked quietly.

"Uh huh."

"What did you say?"

"I'm not ready for that sort of commitment. And it's true."

"Maybe that's why he's so upset?" Logan suggested.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, he proposed to you, but you turned him down. That must have been painful. And then you start giving him a hard time because he's talking about James too much. I can imagine that could wear somebody down. He probably thinks you don't care much about him."

"Ohh…"

"Hm?"

"But I'm _not _ready for that sort of commitment," Carlos reiterated.

"Then maybe you're not ready to be with him at all."

"_Ohh…_"

"What do you want out of life?" Logan asked.

"I want to get through the academy and be a cop, just like my dad. And I uh, well, I dunno. I never thought any further than that."

"Kids?"

"I dunno, probably, yeah."

"Kids with Kendall?"

"Maybe someday."

"You have to 'strike while the iron is hot', or so they say," Logan said cutely. "Destiny doesn't wait."

"Well, listen to you!" Carlos said jovially. "Giving out life advice. How about that? But you're right, y'know. Ahh. I dunno what to do now."

"The next time I see Kendall, I'll ask him if he wants to talk to you. Does that work?"

"Would you do that for me?"

"Yeah of course."

"Awesome. Thanks. Let me know. Ummm, anyway, I gotta get home and head out to class, so I'll see you later. James has my number; you can always call me."

"Okay. I will let you know."

* * *

"Hey…"

James stepped inside the hospital room and held out a little white box to his friend lying in the bed. "I brought you a cake from Mr. Finkelman's."

"Thanks," Kendall said weakly, staring out the window. "Maybe later."

The taller guy set it down on a little table and took a seat. He put his elbows on his knees and stared at Kendall sympathetically. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't tell the doctors, but I still kind of want to die."

"Why would you say that?"

"'Cause this is all bullshit."

"What is?"

"Everything."

"Can you try to be more specific?"

"Carlos is a dickhead."

"How come?"

Still looking out the window, Kendall continued; "I pour my heart out to him, and he basically ignores it."

"Oh, you know Carlos. He's dense sometimes. I sure it wasn't on purpose."

"But it was important to me."

"Either way, there are other fish in the sea," James said, doing his best to cheer him up. Kendall scoffed.

"Not really. I was lucky to have found Carlos."

"That's silly…" the brunette sighed.

"After I dumped you, it occurred to me that I would never find a guy who loved me as much as you did."

James looked down and frowned.

"Then I found Carlos, and I thought I _happened _to get lucky. God gave me a second chance. But he fucked it up. Now I'll never have anybody."

"What's up with you? You've never_,_ _ever _been this depressed. I've always known you as the friendly, optimistic guy who makes everyone else smile."

"Things change," Kendall sighed. He finally looked over at James. His eyes were dark and emotionless. "I just want to get out of here so I can go back to work and dwindle the last years of my life away."

"Ugghh. Don't say that. You'll find somebody else. And either way, you can't base your whole life on the outcome of your relationships."

"I don't know. I need to sleep. I'll see you later." Kendall turned over and pulled the thin blanket up to his face. James sighed to himself. Obviously he had no other choice but to go home.


	22. Sneaking

"Can we keep reading?" was the first thing Logan said after James came home later in the day.

"Hahah, right now? Can I settle in for a little bit?"

Logan held _Blind Man _high above his head, making a desperate, sad little face. He frowned and sulked into the sofa. James walked over to him and tousled his hair. "Later, I promise, okay? It's been a long day for me and I don't exactly want to jump straight into reading."

"O-o-okay…"

"So how was your day, sweetie?" James asked. He went over into the kitchen and looked around for what could become dinner.

"It was okay."

"Did you get any writing done?"

"Oh, yeah. A lot!"

"Good. Hey, are you gonna be okay with just pasta or whatever for dinner?"

"Uh huh. That's fine."

James filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. He looked over the counter and saw Logan sitting in front of his word processor, doing nothing but waiting for James to come over there. It made him happy to be home, but he was really concerned about Kendall. How could he have suddenly become so sad? It didn't make sense. He had to look into this.

"Can we visit Kendall tomorrow?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. I actually saw him today."

"Oh? How is he?"

"Eh," James put a box of pasta on the counter and closed his eyes tightly. He wondered if it was right to get Logan involved. "He's okay."

"Cool. Any idea when he'll be out?"

"Dunno."

A little useless banter later, they had their dinner together and then made off to bed. Logan wanted to sleep earlier, since he hardly had the chance to sleep in late. They got washed up and Logan went straight to bed.

"I have some homework to do," James said. He picked up a few books from his desk, along with a flashlight. "I don't wanna keep you up, so I'll do it out here. I'll be in bed soon."

"Okay, that's fine." Logan curled up underneath the covers and smiled. "I won't wait for you," he said with a giggle.

"Good night!"

James closed the door gently behind him and tiptoed down the hallway. But he didn't have any homework. He set his books down but kept the flashlight tight in his hand. He went to Kendall's door and opened it real careful, trying to make as little sound as possible. He shone the light into the room but saw nothing unusual; sure, Kendall was real messy, but on the surface it didn't look like he was depressed. There must be a clue or hint somewhere within the clutter. James stepped further into the room and looked around. He spotted a stack of books on the floor next to the bed, some of them potentially journals. The first few were graphic novels, but then there was a leather bound notebook. James flapped it open and saw that it was in fact a journal. It seemed that Kendall wasn't very good at keeping up on it, since the last time he wrote was last week, and then a few days before that. James read the most recent entry to himself.

_He is my everything, and I thought I was his, too. I guess not. What the fuck. And here I thought my life couldn't get any worse, right? Fucking figures. The last thing good in my life and it's not as good as I thought. Damn._

James frowned sadly. Kendall _had _been hurting, and obviously for a while. What did Carlos do last week that made him so upset? He went further back in the journal and continued to read.

_I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Why would she do that?_

That's all it said. This made James curious. Who was _she_? Was he seeing a woman? Was Carlos seeing a woman? It raised so many questions. He couldn't keep reading, though, so he closed the journal and put it back. He sat up and wondered what other sorts of clues there would be. Perhaps under the bed? James slid his hand underneath the bed skirt and groped around. He startled when his fingers fell on something firm and greasy, but once he pulled it out he laughed. _I remember you! _He thought, holding up the long, double-headed dildo in his fist. _Damn, _I _shoulda hold onto this guy_.

He tossed it back under the bed, but as it rolled under there, he heard a glass like clattering. James rose his eyebrows and decided to check. He lay down on his side, lifted up the bed skirt and shone the flashlight down there. James gasped at what he saw. Rows and rows of empty whiskey bottles. _Oh, no_, James thought. _Kendall, why_.

"James?"

James sat up quickly and turned around. Logan was standing in the doorway, both of his hands upon the threshold. "Um," James said. "Aren't you…sleeping?"

"Why are you in Kendall's room?"

"Ugh. Because I'm worried. Don't tell him, okay?"

"James, it's fine. I just wish you would have told me."

"I don't want you to get real involved." James stood up and walked over to Logan. He slipped his arms around his waist and kissed his forehead. "I'm really, really worried about Kendall. 9-11 worried."

"Why?"

"Let's go back to bed, baby."

Logan nodded and they headed back to their room. James flipped the lamp by the bed on and got under the covers. He pulled Logan next to him.

"What's going on?" Logan asked.

James exhaled deeply. "He's really, really depressed, and apparently he's _been _really, really depressed. I'm trying to figure out what happened. What set him off? Why he didn't tell me, and how I can help. Carlos did something recently that made him upset."

"I know…" Logan said.

"Wait, what? What do you know?"

"I talked to Carlos. But I didn't wanna tell you, 'cause it's not really our business."

"Ohh, baby. I understand how you feel, but, oh, well, I guess you don't…it's okay. Ohh, baby. It's okay." James cuddled Logan tightly and started to kiss him. He kissed his lips, over and over, holding his firmly against his body.

"Ummmm," Logan said with a little chuckle. He grinned awkwardly as James kissed him too much.

"So what did he say?" James asked.

"He said that, well," Logan cleared his throat once. "Kendall proposed to him."

"_Seriously_?"

"Uh huh. But Carlos said he didn't want that sort of commitment."

"Ohhhh," James said. He nodded slowly. "I get it. But, but something else happened before that. Kendall's diary said something about a woman. '_Why would she do that_?'"

"You read his diary?"

"Yeah shut up."

"Not judging!" Logan teased.

"Did Carlos say anything about a woman?"

"No."

"Ugghh. What is going on? I'm really worried. Kendall is not that sort of guy. Something really messed him up. What are we going to do?"

"We'll fix it. We can do it."

"Think so?"

"Yup. You've made miracles in my life," Logan said cutely. "You can do it in someone else's." He took James's hand and squeezed it. James smiled.

"Tomorrow, we'll go see Kendall. We can casually talk to him about the events in his life."

"Hooray!" Logan suddenly started to shout. "Hooray for playing detective!"

"HAHA What?" James chortled.

"It's like playing detective," the blind boy said innocently.

"Oh yeah?" James asked. His voice grew lower. He rolled Logan onto his back and climbed over him. "I have something for you to investigate."

"What?"

James laughed at Logan's innocence. He leaned down and kissed him. Using his hips, he pressed up against Logan's butt and spread his legs, plopped them on his shoulders and kept kissing him. Logan moaned into James's lips.

"Investigate my uh," James said, laughing. "My dick in your butt."

Logan giggled and nodded. James slipped his tongue into his fiancé's mouth and licked at him. He began to grind his cock against Logan's rear. James sat up and pulled down Logan's underpants, and then his own. He took his dick in his hand and slathered it with lubricant, then pressed the tip of it against Logan's butthole. Logan jumped at how cold it was. He giggled and groaned as James slowly worked his cock inside his hole.

"Ohhh gosh," Logan cried. "Oh my gosh."

"Is it okay?"

"Yeaah. More," Logan pleaded. "Please, more."

"Oh yeah? More? Heheh okay." James pushed himself deeper inside. Logan clawed his fingernails into the satin bed sheets, arching his back and purring loudly. "Ooo Logan, you're starting to like it more and more, huh?"

"I need it," Logan whispered. "I need you."

His dick was entirely swallowed by Logan's asshole. James kissed him hotly and began to thrust into his fiancé. Logan moaned wildly. James pinned him down and started fucking him real hard. He rocked his hips furiously until he soon felt the base of his dick throb hard. He threw his head back and screamed loud as his load filled Logan's tight ass. "OH GOD!" James screamed.

Logan's face turned bright red as he was pummeled by his lover. He smiled cutely.

"Damn!" James yelled. He sighed real loud and slipped out of Logan's hole, and then he rolled over, sticky with sweat. "Wow."

Logan chuckled quietly and curled up into James's arms like second nature. He put his hands on James's thick arms and squeezed gently.

"I like it," Logan said.

"Oh yeah? What do you like?"

"I like how it feels when you're inside me. It's like we become one person."

"Mmmm. Yeah." James closed his eyes and sunk into the pillow. Logan's warm body embraced him with such care, it really did feel like they were one person.


	23. Telling the Folks

"I sorta feel silly, but also not."

Still in the same hospital bed, Kendall sat up and talked to his friends who came to see him. The doctor said he would be discharged the next day, so he at least had something to look forward to.

"It's okay to feel however you want," James said. "But listen, uhh…"

"What."

"Logan told me something interesting."

"I did?" Logan asked.

"Yeah," said James. "Carlos told you that Kendall proposed to him."

Kendall snorted and diverted his attention to the window, even though the blinds were shut.

"Did you?" James asked.

"I did," Kendall mumbled.

"But he told you no?"

"Yep."

"Well dude, that's nothing to end the world over," James said cooly.

"You don't understand," Kendall snapped. His heavy eyebrows furrowed along the bottom of his forehead. "Your guy said yes."

"Yeah, but if he didn't, it woulda been okay."

Logan blushed as the other boys kept talking.

"It's the _way _he did it, man," Kendall said, sighing. "Like, he knew I was having problems and stuff. And then so I put my heart on my sleeve and ask him to marry me. You know what he said?"

James and Logan shook their heads.

"'Oh, I don't want to do _that_.' Can you believe it? Ugh."

"What's so bad about that?" Logan asked.

"It was cold," Kendall said. He folded his arms and peered back at the engaged couple. "And then he starts talking about how I don't shut up about James. Well sorry. Sorry if I've been thinking about my ex, who is having this new relationship and blah blah blah. What the fuck."

"Awww…" James hummed. "Carlos is just being a butt."

"I've been dealing with a lot lately," Kendall said. "Dunno if you know this, but my sister tried to kill my mom."

"_What?" _James gasped. Logan put his fingertips to his mouth.

"Yeah…"

"That's messed up!" the tall brunette yelled. "How did it happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," James said. "Sorry. You could have told me these problems, you know."

"Yeah I know. I dunno. Maybe I've been keeping too much to myself."

Their conversation was cut short by James's phone ringing. He jumped up, took it out of his pocket and said, "Oh, it's my parents. I gotta take this. Be right back!" Then he left Kendall and Logan alone in the room.

"Um," Logan said quietly. Kendall didn't answer. "Do you still…love James?"

"Depends how you define 'love,'" Kendall said. "Do I still care about him? Of course. Why not? Do I still want to be with him? No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Oh, okay."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I guess, if it would fix things, I would leave James so he could get back together with you."

Kendall suddenly burst into laughter. He shook his head, smiling, reached out and touched Logan on the arm. "You're too sweet," he said.

"Huh? How come?"

"You would really ruin your life to make James happy?"

"My life was ruined before I met James. He gave me hope. I owe him everything. Even if we broke up, my life has been changed for the better because of him."

The blond boy nodded. He retracted his hand and folded them both in his lap. It was then he realized that James and Logan weren't getting married too soon. They had something that James and _Kendall _never had; understanding.

"Oh, and Kendall?" Logan snapped him out of his bittersweet train of thought.

"Yeah?"

"Carlos wants to get back together with you."

"He does?"

"Yes."

Kendall sat back in his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He was speechless.

"Kendall?"

"Hm?"

"Will you take him back?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"It's complicated, Logan. It's just complicated."

The door opened up and James came back in. "Sorry guys! Hey, everything okay?"

"I think so," Logan said quietly.

"Alright, well how would you like to have dinner with my parents, baby?" James asked Logan, taking his shoulder.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. We can go right there. That cool?"

"Uh huh, okay. Sorry Kendall, we have to go."

"It's fine," the blond said. "I'll be home tomorrow anyway. So I'll see you guys real soon." He smiled halfheartedly and waved a little as the couple headed out.

* * *

"It's so nice to see you boys again," was the warm welcome that James and Logan got from Mrs. Diamond when they later showed up at the house. "I'm glad you made it on such short notice. Sorry about Kendall."

"Oh it's fine, he'll be alright," James said. He gave his mother a hug and then lead Logan through the front door.

"So how are you two fairing?" Mrs. Diamond asked.

Logan held onto James's arm as he led him through the house. Since this was only his second time being there, it was still very unfamiliar. The floor was comfortable hardwood and the entire place smelled warm. It seemed there was meat broiling.

"We're great," James said. "Logan and I are really, really great." He kissed Logan on the cheek.

"I'm glad," his mom said. "Why don't you sit with your father at the dinner table? I'll grab the roast and be right in."

"Cool, cool. Come on, Logan." James took his fiancé by the shoulders and directed him to his chair. "Got it?"

"Uh huh!" Logan cheered. He got comfortable on the seat cushion and placed his elbows on the table. There was food on the table, he could tell; maybe potatoes and something like broccoli. It was hard to tell just by the odors.

"James, Logan," Mr. Diamond said, nodding his head with each name. He was sitting at the table, reading some book through his bifocals.

"Sup dad," James said casually.

"Not much is 'sup', James."

Mrs. Diamond came back to the table now, carrying a large platter with a piece of roast beef in the middle. She set it down on the table and took a seat. She sighed happily. "Dad, can you cut it up for us?"

"Sure," James's dad said. He put down his book and picked up a knife.

"So did you plan all this for us, and just except us to say yes?" James asked.

"The roast was on sale," said Mrs. Diamond. "And it wasn't until I put it in the oven that I realized it was too much for us. So I thought, hmm, why not have my boys over?"

"Boys?" Logan said, raising his eyebrows.

"Logan honey, you're practically family," Mrs. Diamond said, smiling. Logan blushed.

"Well, hehe, about that," James began. He grinned ear to ear as he plopped a big pile of mashed potatoes onto Logan's plate.

"Jaaaaaaaames?" his mother asked. "Are you hiding something?"

James giggled. He slid his hand over the table and squeezed his fingers. Logan's face lit up. Mr. Diamond held the knife over the roast but stopped when he saw the hand touching. He peered over his glasses and said, "What is it?"

"We're engaged," James said quickly. He stared at his parents with a big, expectant smile. His father put the knife down and sat back in his chair. "Jesus Christ," he said, rolling his eyes. But his mother just sat there with a meek smile on her face.

"Isn't it too soon?" Mr. Diamond asked, sounding frustrated.

"A little, but I don't care," James said, squeezing Logan's fingers. "I love him and I want to be with him."

The father let out a long, tense breath of air. "That's great," he said, sarcastically.

"I think it's fine," Mrs. Diamond said quickly. "If that's what you want to do, well, then that's fine. That's just fine." She smiled and handed the carving knife back to her husband. "Can you cut the roast, please?"

"Okay, okay," James's dad roared. He took the knife and went to cut the meat again.

"Ummm…" Logan finally spoke. He tried to smile, but being put on the spot like that made him nervous. He didn't quite expect dinner with his fiancé's family to go that way. "So ummm…"

"Logan, it's fine," Mrs. Diamond reiterated. "Like I said, you're family."

James's father put a slab of roast down on Logan's plate and then one on James's. "Can he eat meat?" his father asked.

"What do you mean? Of course he can," James said. "He just can't cut it like that." He swapped plates with Logan's and cut his meat into small pieces. His parents watched silently as he practically babied his boyfriend. Mr. Diamond cleared his throat and gave his wife a piece of the roast. He put one of his plate and sat down stiffly.

"So when is the wedding?" Mrs. Diamond asked.

"Dunno yet," said James.

"I think the first day of Spring would be nice," Logan suggested.

James smiled. "I like that. What do you think?"

"That's so sweet," said Mrs. Diamond. "I think it's nice."

Dinner continued in a rather tense but alright manner. Obviously, James's dad wasn't so cool with them getting married so quickly, but his mother could tell and she was trying to make them feel alright about it. The food was fantastic, both James and Logan agreed. On the ride home, James noted that his mom had always been an amazing cook.

"Dunno how he never gained weight," he said. "I'd be so fat if I could cook that well."

"You cook great," Logan said. He put his elbow on the side of the door and propped his head up. "Do you think getting married is a bad idea?"

"No. Why would you say that?"

"Your dad seemed mad."

"Pops is always mad," James said with a little giggle. "Don't worry about it. Love is love, you know?"

"Mmm. And I do love you," Logan whispered.

"I love you too, baby." James looked over at Logan and stuck out his tongue. "I wanna fuck you good tonight."

"Heh. Okay. Maybe." Logan sighed.

"What's up?"

"Worried about Kendall."

"He's a big boy, he'll be alright."


	24. The Return

James spoke to the hospital in the morning, and they told him that Kendall was set to leave around 2pm. Luckily he didn't have to work that day, so he was able to set it up with them that he could give Kendall a ride home. Logan decided to stay home though, since had another plan.

"Can you call Carlos for me?" he asked James as they were getting dressed in the morning. He was bent over the bathroom sink, washing his face.

"Yeah sure, how come?"

"I think he should be here when Kendall comes home," said Logan. He dabbed his face dry with a towel and handed it to James. "I know Kendall isn't sure about getting back together with him, but they can make it work."

"You think so?"

"Uh huh!"

"Well okay, if you say so." James took out his phone and dialed up Carlos. As it was ringing, he handed it to Logan. "Just hold it like this."

"I got it," Logan said. He held the phone to his ear.

"Hey James," Carlos answered groggily.

"Hi! It's Logan, actually."

"Oh, hey dude. What's up?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Yeah but it's cool. Everything okay?"

"Kendall is coming home today."

"Ah…"

"James is going to pick him up around…James, when are you getting him?"

"Like 2," James said, looking in the mirror whilst he combed his hair.

"Like 2," Logan told Carlos. "And I want you to be here when they arrive."

"How come?"

"Well I think you can patch it up with him," Logan said confidently.

"Did you talk to him about it? Does he want to take me back?"

"Err, he isn't sure, but I think you can manage it."

"Hmmm okay."

"So will you? Will you come?"

"Alright," Carlos said. "I'll be there in time."

"Yaay!" Logan grinned. "I'll see you in the afternoon."

"Okay man, talk to you later."

The phone hung up and he handed it back to James, who shoved it in his rear pocket. "Think it'll work out well?" James asked.

"You already asked me and you know my answer," Logan sneered cutely. James pecked him on the cheek real quick.

"I know," he said. "Just teasing."

"Mhhmmm," Logan hummed. He stuck out the tip of his tongue at James.

"Is that an invitation?"

"To what?"

"This…" James put his hands on the back of Logan's head and pulled him close. He tilted his head and leaned in for a warm kiss. Their lips smacked together, making wet, popping noises, and Logan couldn't help but melt a little with a sighing moan.

"So first day of Spring, huh?" James whispered once the kiss was broken.

"I like it."

"Me, too."

"Can we read a little?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure." He scooped up Logan's hand and dragged him off to the bedroom. "_Blind Man_?"

"Uh huh."

"Alright." James picked up the soft novel on the nightstand and flopped back onto the bed. He pulled Logan into his lap and began to read. The story was taking an interesting twist. Once it had been established that the boy had dreamt of being a painter, only to have it tarnished by his blindness, he started to befriend an elderly couple next door. The woman took a particular fondness to him, and she was trying her best to convince him to leave the house.

"It's a lot like me," Logan remarked in the middle of James's reading.

"Yeah it is."

"I don't think he falls in love with Mrs. Lockhart, though."

"Heheh probably not. Do you like the story?"

"Oh yeah, I really do!" Logan cheered. He snuggled back against James a little more. "And I like hearing you read it to me."

"You're so sweet, Logan," James said.

They read for some more time, but then they got up and had breakfast together. It would be nice to have Kendall back of course, but the extra privacy would be missed.

Eventually the time came for James to head out and get Kendall.

"Carlos will be here when you come back, so…" Logan said. He was on the living room couch, planning to get a little more "writing" done while James was out.

"Okay that's fine. Should I tell Kendall?"

"No. He shouldn't have time alone to think about it. I want them to realize they need it each other right here."

"Man with the plan, huh?" James teased. He put his coat on and picked up his car keys. "You really seem to have this strategy worked out to the T."

"They need each other!" Logan squeaked. "I can tell! Kendall can be crabby and he's been having a hard time, and Carlos can be a little careless…but they belong together. I can sense their destiny."

"Heheh alright, whatever you say." The taller young man leaned over Logan and kissed him briefly on the lips. "Be good."

"I will!" Logan smiled. Once James left, he went back to the word processor and began to dictate another memory into it.

_After my daring feat at the jungle gym, I walked home with my mother, wearing a proud smile across my face. She squeezed my hand and giggled at the way I carried myself._

_"That was very brave of you!" she said._

_"Uh huh! But I did it, didn't I, mama?"_

_"You sure did. And that nice little boy helped you too, right?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is he a friend of yours?"_

_"No. That's the first I ever seen him."_

_Mom looked straight ahead and smiled wistfully. She sighed to herself and said, "Some people are destined for great things in life."_

_"Oh?" I asked, basically not understanding what she was talking about. This conversation was a bit too advanced for me._

_"And some people are destined to inspire those people." She looked down at me again and winked. I didn't know what she meant. "Did you thank that boy?"_

_"No, he went away real fast."_

Logan shut off the machine and lay down on the sofa. He curled up and tried to remember more of what happened on that day. His mother's words were still in his mind. _Some people are destined for great things in life_, he thought. _And some people are destined to inspire those people_. Where did Logan fit in? Was he supposed to do great things, or was he supposed to inspire them? He wasn't sure, but he certainly wished he could talk to his mother still. He wished he could introduce her to James. He wished they could have holiday dinners with both of their families. But before he thoughts could carry him away and further, someone knocked on the door.

"Logan?" he heard Carlos call out.

"Come in," Logan said. The door swung open and the Latino boy came in. He walked over to the sofa and well, waved, like an idiot.

"How are you?" Carlos asked.

"I'm good. What about you?"

"Ehhh…"

"Ready to see Kendall?"

"Yeah I guess so. Man. I dunno." Carlos sat down on the sofa next to him and sat back. "I love him. Yeah. I'll always love him. Guess it just depends on how he acts."

"You can do it!" Logan cheered. "I believe in you."

"You're so sweet," Carlos said. He looked at Logan and smiled. "How did you get so sweet, dude?"

Logan shrugged.

"So how has James been?"

"Good. He's good."

"The sex?"

"Good," Logan followed with a devilish grin. "James takes care of me in the bedroom, too."

"That's awesome!" Carlos said. "Do you have like a BDSM thing going?"

"What's that?"

"Like bondage. Uhhh…" Carlos scratched his head. "Like he's dominant and you're submissive."

"Not sure I know what that means, sorry."

"You do everything he says."

"Oh, no. If I don't want to do something, he won't do it."

"Alright. I thought maybe you gave up all control to him."

"Maybe a little. I do trust him, you know. I trust him completely."

"Hmmmmm," Carlos thought. He folded his arms now. "I think there's more of a dynamic here than you realize!"

"How so?" Logan asked, filled with curiosity. He wasn't sure what Carlos meant, but it was interesting nonetheless.

"James takes care of you. You give up control by putting your life in his control. Huh? Is that right? You get pleasure from letting him lead you."

"I guess," Logan said. Carlos seemed to be right. "But I have no other choice."

"Well yeah, but you don't have to _enjoy _it. You like how he guides you."

"I do…is that okay?"

"Uh huh it's fine. It's cute. It's…hot. Heheh. But maybe you just want him to be able to trust you for once?"

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno. It is what it is. You want him to trust you, maybe just once. Just once."

"Maybe."

The front door opened once more, and this time James and Kendall came walking in. Carlos looked up quickly and caught Kendall's eyes while James went off into the kitchen.

"Oh," Kendall said. He froze in his step. "Hey."

"Yo," Carlos answered softly.

"Nice to see you," the blond said halfheartedly.

"Yeah. How are ya feelin'?" Carlos asked. Kendall shrugged and slowly stepped over to the sofa. Logan sat up with a little grin on his face.

"I'm alright," Kendall said, nodding. "What about you? How are you?"

"Gonna be a cop soon," the Latino said rather nonchalantly. He gave a thumbs up and blew a raspberry.

"How does a guy like you become a cop?" James asked teasingly.

"What do you mean?" Carlos squaked.

"You're so dingy."

"Oh ya, like you aren't. Hmmmm."

"Shhhhh!" James hissed. He stuck his tongue out at Carlos before disappearing behind the door of the fridge.

"Yeah whatever. Anyway. I'm gonna be a cop soon, just like papi."

"That's cool," Kendall said. "Uhh…"

"Huh?" Carlos asked.

Logan stumbled up to his feet. "I think we should leave you guys alone," he said quietly. "James?"

"Yes. Yes, I agree." James quickly ran over to Logan and snatched him away. They slipped off into their room.

"What do you think will…"

"Shh!" Logan hissed. He put his ear up against the bedroom door. "I want to hear what happens!"

"Okay, okay," James whispered.

"I'm uh, sorry, man," Carlos said on the other side of the door.

"It's alright," Kendall said. He sighed. "My fault for yelling I guess."

"Oooo but I shoulda been nicer though. I'm sorry."

"I said it's alright."

"I missed you. I worried about you."

"You did?" Kendall asked after swallowing hard.

"Yeah of course, dude. I don't like being away from you."

"Ohhh…"

"Take me back?" Carlos asked and Kendall fell silent. They didn't say anything for a few moments. "Um? Well?"

"Yes."

Carlos sighed in relief and suddenly fell all over Kendall. They embraced tightly and held onto each other in a silent understanding. Kendall kissed the top of Carlos's head and then nuzzled him.

Back in the bedroom, Logan smiled to himself. "Good," he whispered.

"Hmm?" James asked.

"We pulled it off."


	25. Twists

Carlos spent the night at the boys' apartment. It was interesting how the reverted back to the way they are so quickly, despite the problems in between. Logan inevitably had the best plan for all of the boys. It amazed Carlos.

"Something about that guy," he said, resting in Kendall's arms once the morning rolled around. "Something really special about him."

"Yeah, I'd have to agree with you on that," Kendall said. "I don't get it. Maybe 'cause his vision is gone, he's honed other skills and stuff."

"Ooooo, yeah maybe!" Carlos said, nodding furiously. He looked up at Kendall and kissed his chin. "I can't believe we broke up."

"Gosh, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Kenny. I'm sorry, too. I already told you. Ugghh. I'm sorry I put you through all that trouble."

"My fault," Kendall mumbled. "A little time in the hospital helped me get my thoughts straight, though."

"You're happy now, right?"

"Not entirely," the blond said. He yawned. "Still upset about my sis."

Carlos rolled out of his boyfriend's arms and sat up on his elbows. He put his feet up into the arm and wiggled them back and forth. "How's the status on all of that, anyway?"

Kendall sighed. He looked up at the ceiling, frowning. "In jail. Waiting for the trial."

"And Mama Knight?"

"She's fine. She's been fine. Six stitches but she's home and it's all good. I just…man…I can't believe she would do that."

"Do you know how it started?"

"Noooo idea. Nobody will tell me."

"Awww. Hey…so…I have a crazy idea."

"What's that?"

Carlos leaned up to Kendall's ear and whispered something softly. Kendall smiled and nodded. "Okay," he said. "Sooo are you hungry?"

Carlos glared at Kendall. "Really? You're asking if _I'm _hungry?"

"Right. Dumb question. Ready to get up?"

"Thought you'd never ask!" Carlos grinned real big and sprung out of bed. He grabbed both of Kendall's hands and pulled him out, too.

"Yo, put some clothes on," Kendall said.

"Oh, yeah." Carlos looked down at his nakedness and laughed. He grabbed a pair of boxers and threw on a tank top. "Okay!"

They walked out to the living room and saw James and Logan there already.

"Mornin', guys! You're up early!" Carlos called up.

"We're early birds," James said with a big, sparkly smile. He put his arms around Logan's shoulders and put a kiss on his cheek. "Logan is such a horn dog, he just can't sleep in too late. Hee hee."

Logan blushed. "I am not a horn dog," he protested quietly.

"Oh hush, you know you are."

Kendall and Carlos came pushing through the kitchen. "Yeah yeah," Kendall said, rolling his eyes. "Everyone is super horny, I know." He opened up the fridge and grabbed the milk. Carlos snatched a box a cereal and slid off to the countertop.

"We have something fun planned today," James said.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Carlos asked.

"A secret!" James giggled. "But we're on our way now. Right, Logan? Right?"

"Uhhhmmm. Yeah I think so?" Logan laughed nervously.

"Come on, baby." He took his boyfriend's hand and pulled him out of the kitchen. Carlos and Kendall watched as they stuffed their mouths full of cereal.

"Have fun I guesshhh," Carlos mumbled.

James and Logan took their time getting dressed actually, but they managed to get down to the truck and took a ride around the block to a familiar building.

"So where are we going?" Logan asked.

"I think we should plan our wedding cake order," James said. He parked his Tacoma in front of Logan's old apartment building and looked over at the row of stores beneath it.

"Ohhhh!" Logan gasped. He smiled and bit his lower lip, blushing slightly. The wedding was still months away, but the very idea of it made his tummy sparkle. It would come fast, that was for sure. James jumped out of the car and ran around to grab Logan.

"Just in here, okay?" James asked. He took Logan's hand and lead him into the bakery.

"Well hey there, James. How ya doin'?" Mr. Finkelman called out as the young couple came inside. Logan stopped in his tracks and inhaled. The smells were overwhelming. "Who's yer friend?"

"This is Logan," James said. He took Logan by the hand and pulled him to the front counter. "The blind boy."

"Ahh yeah, alright, alright. How're ya, Logan?"

"Good…"

"This is Mr. Finkelman," James explained. "I've known him, damn, almost my whole life, huh?"

"Yep," the baker said. "James has been comin' in my shop since he was just a little fella. So whatcha lookin' for today?"

"Heheh well," James chuckled. "We actually want to get some wedding cake ideas."

"Wedding cakes, huh? Who's gettin' married?"

"I am," said James. "Oh, uh, well, _we _are."

Mr. Finkelman snorted loudly. "Oh okay," he said. "Congrats I guess. We got a catalog in the back you can look at. Gimme a sec." He trudged off to a room in the back, leaving James and Logan alone in the store.

"He seems weird," Logan said quietly.

"He's never been weird before," James sighed. "Guess he doesn't like me being gay."

"Ohhh."

"Here ya go, guys," Mr. Finkelman came back in with a pamphlet in his hands. He gave it to James. "Guess it's up to you, huh?"

"Only kinda," said James. He opened to the first page. "Do you have a color preference, Logan?"

"Just white. You know, like it should be."

"Alright, that's cool. Hmm. Real big or more like small?"

"Real big! I'll pay for it." Logan beamed.

"Okay. Lesseeee…this one is big. It's big and white. There are flowers on it."

"Sounds nice."

"Heheheh." James looked up at Mr. Finkelman. "Well, it's early I know, but we want to reserve this for March 20th."

"Oh yeah, that _is _early," the older man barked.

"Better safe than sorry. It'll come around before we know it!" James grinned and kissed Logan on the cheek.

"Yeah well, okay. I'll put it on order. Thanks guys."

"Awesome. Thank you, Mr. Finkelman."

* * *

"Oh my gooooosh!" Logan screamed happily once they made it home. He hugged James real tight and giggled wildly. "It's like I finally realize it's really gonna happen!"

"I know, I know!" James hugged him back and sighed. "I can't wait to call you my husband."

They fell back onto their bed, Logan on his back, still hugging and kissing each other now. Logan clapped his hands on either side of James's face. He pulled him close and put a soft kiss on his lips. "Make love to me," he whispered.

James kissed him back. He nuzzled his nose against Logan's and smiled. "That's so cute," he said. "So cute."

"Cute?" Logan asked.

"Mmhmm."

They kissed once more. Logan rolled his head back and began to moan softly. James ran a trail of kisses from Logan's lips and down his chin, his neck and to the nape of his neck. He pulled up his shirt and continued to kiss his chest and belly. Logan giggled a little bit.

"Do you like that?" James whispered.

"Y-yes."

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

"Please…"

James pulled Logan's shirt off of his head and then went to undo his pants. He unzipped the fly and slowly pulled the pants off. Logan raises his legs up and spread them. James stuck his fingers into the elastic of his boxers and pulled them off as well. Naked, Logan lay before James with a desperate look on his face. He stared up at nothing, but he wished he could look at James. The atmosphere was thick with passion. James undressed himself completely and pressed his penis up against Logan's butt. He slathered it with cool lubricant, took it in his hand and nudged the tip against Logan's hole. He tensed up but smiled.

"Ready?" James asked.

"Yes."

The taller young man slowly pushed his sex organ inside his fiancé's ass. Logan groaned and reached his hands out to James's shoulders. He gripped into his skin hard and James began to thrust into him. They moaned in unison, panting and sweating to boot. Overcome with lust, Logan ground his hips back against James's cock. He writhed around like a whore, intoxicated by James's love stick.

"Ohh, Logan," James moaned. "I wish you could see how beautiful you look."

"I wish I could," Logan whispered. "I wish I could."

"Come up here," James said. He leaned down and grabbed Logan by his waist. He hoisted him upright. "Put your legs around my hips," he said. Logan nodded and did so. James held up close to his chest and began to fuck him up into the air. Logan latched onto him and bobbed up and down as James pounded him out.

"Oooo take it, holy shit," James moaned. Logan held onto him tightly and cried out in passion. It felt like their souls were merging. They were becoming one person. Tears began to stream down Logan's cheeks since he was so overwhelmed with high emotion. James gasped and then slammed into Logan real hard. He climaxed and let out a loud, throaty moan as he filled Logan with his seed. Logan winced and bit down on his lower lip as he took James's load.

"Oh man," James panted. He waddled closer to the bed and slid off of his rod and laid him back down. Logan smiled, his cheeks and lips bright red, wishing he could see James.

"Thank you," Logan whispered.

"For what?"

"For giving me such intense sex."

"You don't have to _thank _me. I love you. I love you, Logan, and I want to give you amazing intense sex forever." He pulled down the bed sheets and slipped in. He snatched up Logan's warm, sticky body and cuddled him close. They kissed a few times. Logan put his head onto James's firm, sweat covered pectoral muscles and sighed. He put his hand up and tried to find James's hand. He slid into Logan's grip and squeezed his fingers. The engagement ring touched James's palm. He ran a finger overtop of it and smiled contently.

"I love you more every day," James whispered.

"I love you, too. I love you so much. You've been so amazing. You've been so…so amazing."

"If you need anything baby, just let me know, okay? I want to be here always."

"Same for you."

"It was incredible what you did for Kendall and Carlos, you know that?"

"I guess."

"Come on, don't be coy."

"Heehee…okay…it was pretty amazing, right?"

"It was. You are amazing. You amaze me so much." He gave Logan one more kiss before they fell asleep.


	26. Residual Memory

**Dear Reader,**

**Just so you know, this story is ending soon. There will be 30 chapters in total. I will most likely not answer questions in any reviews because of this, but I can at least guarantee that it does NOT have a bad ending! **

**Happy Reading! **

**M**

_It was a foggy, rainy day. James drove down the highway as headlights occasionally passed by. He wasn't sure where they were going, but Logan sat in the passenger's seat with a worried look on his face. It was cold. It was dark._

_All at once, a car came flying head on at them. It smashed through the pick-up truck and struck James. _

_"James? James?" Logan called out. His voice echoed and suddenly…_

He woke up.

Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead as his heart pounding irately within his chest cavity. He patted the bed beside him until he found James, where his hand grabbed his arm and held on tight. _Just a dream_, he thought.

James stirred from the contact and opened his eyes. He saw Logan sitting up in bed. "You okay?" he asked.

"Bad dream," Logan mumbled sleepily. He lay back down and latched onto James's arm. "Really, really bad dream."

"I'm sorry baby," James coaxed. He put his other arm around Logan and pulled him close, stroking the back of his head. He could feel his heart racing. "What happened?"

"We were in an accident," the blind boy mumbled sadly. He nuzzled into the crook of James's neck tightly. His body was warm but his face was cold.

"Just anxiety," James said. "Nothing to worry about."

Tears began to drip from Logan's bad eyes and onto James. The taller guy squeezed him a bit tighter.

"P-please don't die," Logan said, sniffling.

"I won't," James assured him somehow. "Not anytime soon, at least."

"Don't die," Logan said once more.

"As long as I have to take care of you, I'll be around, okay? I promise." He turned onto his side, flipped Logan around and pulled his back to his chest. They spooned like that, nice and tight. James kissed Logan on the neck and he giggled through his sniffles. "Feel better?" James asked.

"Yeah," Logan said, smiling now. He pressed back against James's chest more and felt a growing erection. "_Really?_" Logan asked.

"Really what?"

"Your penis is hard? Now?"

"What can I say?" James said, shrugging his shoulders. "The more sex I get, the more my body wants it. Can't help it."

"My drive seems so low compared to yours," Logan whined.

"It's alright," James assured him. "It seems fine to me. Have you been masturbating at all?"

"Yeah."

"Oh? When?" he propped his chin on the ball of Logan's shoulder and narrowed his eyes. Logan was facing the window, staring blank as usual. James wondered if he could at least see any kind of light through his eyelids.

"When you aren't home, sometimes I try things. Like I put a finger in, or whatever."

"Do you like it?"

"Uh huh! Carlos was sorta right!"

"About what?"

Logan turned to James and pressed his nose against his chin. He smiled real cute-like. "He told me that once I begin to put things inside me, I'll crave it and need more."

"Ohhh. Heh. Yeah, that's true. I should get you a big dildo you can sit on."

"What's a dildo?"

"A fake dick. Like plastic or rubber."

"Seems silly."

"It _kinda _is. But then you can bounce around on it when I'm not home."

"Okay."

"And a double-headed one, too."

"What's that like?"

"It's a real long one with two heads on the end. You know how a penis has a head. Like that. So we can both put it in, like with our asses together."

"That sounds…interesting. Have you done it before?"

"Oh my God yes. Kendall and I loved that. He has a whole collection of all sorts of toys, but I let him keep 'em when we broke up. I'll have to do some shopping."

"Alright. That should be different."

"It's fun, I promise." James looked back and saw the clock real quick. "It's only 2am. Think you can get back to sleep?"

"Yeah probably."

* * *

When morning finally rolled around, Logan was still upset about his dream. He was afraid it was some sort of premonition. As James began to get ready for work, Logan was desperate for him to stay home.

"I'm worried," he whined.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to get in an accident!"

"That's silly. Sorry, it is." James tousled Logan's hair. "The dream was just an anxiety dream, 'cause you've lived through that horror and you're terrified it will happen again. And either way, I gotta go to work. I'll be fine."

"I'm _so _scared," Logan cried.

"Ohhh, baby, I'll be fine! Promise. Here, I'll let Kendall and Carlos know that you're upset, so they can be extra special nice to you. How's that?"

"Okay," Logan answered weakly.

James walked down the hallway to Kendall's room and knocked on the door. "Hey guys?" he called. No answer. "Guys?!"

"Are they still asleep?" Logan asked from the living room.

"I dunno." James grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open. Obviously they were gone. "No, they aren't here. That's funny." He ran back to the living room.

"They're gone?" Logan asked.

"Yeah. They aren't usually up this early."

"Ohhh…"

"No, no, no," James said quickly, seeing Logan's expression become even sadder. "Nothing _bad _happened. I know you're worried already, and you've been through a lot with Kendall and stuff, but nah, they're fine. If it was an emergency they would have told us. They're out doing something."

"If you say so."

"Yup. Trust me. Okay? So I gotta head out. I'll be home as soon as I can. You hang tight, alright?"

"Okay…"

James kissed Logan on the lips twice. "Love you," he said.

"Love you too," Logan replied. He curled up on the sofa and sighed as James left the apartment. Logan's mind began to wander. James was right; it was silly to worry about the dream. He held one of the sofa pillows close to his chest and hugged it. Every minute without his fiancé was torture. Just torture!

Then he began to think about the story, _Blind Man_. They had got to this point where the man's neighbor, Mrs. Lockhart, started to put together a painting studio for him. Remember, the blind man had dreamt of being a professional painter before he lost his eyesight. So Mrs. Lockhart rigged this really cool system so that he could paint. And he did. Logan thought the story was very inspirational, and he wondered how it could apply to _his _life. He had wanted to write fairy tales. He had wanted to be a successful writer. Now that he had the word processor, he could probably, actually pursue that dream. Something inside him felt very warm as he realized that James was making his "impossible" dream come true. _Yes_, he thought to himself. _I can be a writer_.

Feeling inspired, Logan perked up and switched on the word processor, which was sitting on the coffee table as usual. The boy from the jungle gym was someone he wanted to write about, so he thought of a little story for him.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was afraid of everything. He spent long days and nights worried about the world and all things in it. He longed to have a fun life, but he could not do those exciting things since he did not believe in himself. Whenever a task seemed too hard, he would tell himself that it was impossible.

"However, one day, the boy was at a park and he wanted to climb the top of a jungle gym. His mother, who he loved, cheered him on with the utmost of care. The little boy stared at the gigantic playground equipment with a lump in his throat, but he _had _to do it. There was no backing down.

"He climbed halfway, but once he looked down, he realized that it _was _impossible. Fear overtook him. He put out his hand to hold another bar, but he slipped. Falling was imminent. He braced for a landing, but instead somebody grabbed him. He looked up and saw another young boy holding onto his arm. He smiled and helped him up. Together, they climbed to the top. It was fantastic and it felt amazing. The little boy learned to overcome his fears, it just took a little help."

Logan had James read the story once he came home. Of course he was delighted that the taller man had fulfilled his promise and returned safely, but his recently acquired inspiration to keep writing had fueled his positive attitude. James found the story interesting. When he finished, he didn't say anything.

"Did you like it?" Logan asked.

"Uh. Yeah."

"Sure? Was it stupid?"

"This is a true story?" James asked quietly.

"Yes. Why?"

"Logan," James said. He suddenly flung his arms around his fiancé and pulled him close.

"What?" Logan asked. "What is it?"

The taller guy pressed his eyes against Logan's cheeks. Tears pushed out and Logan could feel them. "What's wrong?" The blind boy asked.

"Logan…" James began again.

"What?!"

"That boy was _me_."


	27. Break

They held each other for several minutes, the quiet sniffling of James as the only noise present. He pressed his forehead against Logan's and just smiled, tears running down his cheeks. The silence was eventually broken when Logan talked very quietly; "You are my destiny."

"I can't believe it," James said. "I forgot about that boy, but after it happened, I really wanted to see him again. I knew he would do great things if he just had the right encouragement."

"I always wanted to thank him," Logan whispered. He bit on his lower lip. "Thank you."

"Logan you've thanked me enough."

"I know, but still…"

"So, hey, do you want to have dinner with my folks?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. You wanna go?"

"Um…sure. Is this something they planned?"

"Heheh yeah, they called me on my way home and asked. Apparently they have something for us!"

"Ooooo, well yes! Let's go."

"I'll pick out something nice for you to wear," James said and walked off to the bedroom. He took a silk shirt out of Logan's closet, along with a clean pair of pants, and handed them to Logan. He disrobed and changed, as did James. He also popped into the bathroom real quick and got freshened up. In a few minutes time, they were all ready to go. With a tiny kiss before leaving, James and Logan headed out of their apartment and down to the street. James couldn't park in the lot, since they were repaving it all, so he was using the spaces on the road until then. Logan didn't like the extra walking, but it would have to suffice for the next few days.

* * *

James parked his truck in front of the familiar old house and helped Logan get out. They walked up to the porch together holding hands, looking forward to the dinner they were about to enjoy. James was slightly apprehensive about his father, but if they had a present for them, he couldn't be feeling too hostile.

"James! Logan!" Mrs. Diamond cheered when she opened the front door. "So good to so you again!" She gave her son a big hug, and then moved to her son-in-law to be. "How are you two doing?"

"Great," James said. "We brought wine for you." The son brandished a bottle of chardonnay from under his arm and his mother's face immediately lit up.

"How sweet!" she exclaimed, taking the bottle with great care. "You're really putting others first these days, aren't you?"

James smiled shyly and looked down. "Yeah, well…"

Mrs. Diamond led them inside and to the dinner table, where his father was of course already seated. He nodded to them both and smiled a little. "James, Logan," he said. "How are you boys?"

"Great," James said once more, helping Logan take a seat and then seating himself. Logan tried to figure out what sort of food was being prepared. "How are you, pops?" James asked.

"Ah well, you know. The usual. Got a good business offer yesterday."

"Cool, cool."

Mrs. Diamond went to the kitchen and came back with a chicken. The platter was surrounded with potatoes and carrots. Logan inhaled deeply and smiled. "Ohhh my," he said. "Whatever that is, it smells amazing!"

"Why thank you Logan," said James's mom. "It's just chicken that I've baked in the oven."

"Mmm I can't wait!"

James looked at his fiancé and smiled. He still couldn't get over how adorable he was.

"How's Kendall?" Mr. Diamond asked. He stood up and began to cut the chicken into pieces.

"Oh, he's good. Got back together with Carlos."

"Ah."

"I think that's great," Mrs. Diamond said, nodding. "Logan honey, what part of the chicken would you like?"

"I guess just breast?" Logan said, shrugging. Mr. Diamond put a slab of chicken down on his plate, and James immediately began to cut it up into small pieces. "There you go, baby," he whispered to Logan.

"Thanks," Logan answered quietly.

"So mom, dad? What did you want to give us?"

Mrs. Diamond giggled and glanced upwards, looking almost a little cute. She blushed. "Well, how are the wedding plans going?"

"Nothing much so far," James explained. His father put a thigh down on his plate and he smiled cute at him. "We order our cake though."

"Oh really? Did you go to Mr. Finkelman's?" his mom asked.

"Yeah of course. Dunno if he wants to do it though."

"Why's that?"

"He got a little miffed when I mentioned I was marrying Logan."

"Oh, well. You know how old fashioned he can be," Mrs. Diamond said. "I wouldn't worry about it. But it's still sweet that you give him the business."

"Oh yeah, of course," James said, followed by a slice of chicken. He looked at Logan and sighed dreamily. "I can't believe it's happening."

"It's daunting," Mrs. Diamond said.

"Mmmm," the father grunted, but everyone ignored it.

"So, well," his mother continued, giggling again. "We thought we would get you an early present. Honey? Would you give it to them?"

"Right, right," Mr. Diamond said. He reached into his shirt pocket and brandished a small envelope, which he held over the table to James.

"What is it?" Logan asked. James took the envelope and opened it up, but he didn't say anything. He stared at it with his mouth hanging open.

"It's special, so…" Mrs. Diamond said quietly.

"What is it?" Logan asked once more, feeling somewhat left out.

James looked at his parents and said, "thank you" quite humbly. They nodded back.

"Hopefully it'll only happen once, so I want to make it very nice for you two," Mrs. Diamond said.

Logan grabbed James's arm and tugged on the sleeve. "What is it?" He asked again, even whinier this time.

James swallowed and said, "tickets."

"To what?"

"To Florida, and a hotel for a weekend."

"Ohhhhh," Logan gasped. "Ohhh!"

"For your honeymoon," Mrs. Diamond said shortly. She cut a small piece of chicken up and place it in her mouth, chewing politely.

"Th-thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond."

"You're welcome, honey," said the mother. She reached over the table and touched Logan on the hand (he jumped). "I've said it before and I will say it again, _you're family now_."

Dinner carried on like that for a while. It was very pleasant, and Logan was finally feeling like he belonged again. It had been years since he had anything resembling family and now, after assuming he never would again, he had one again. James evidently had a close and supportive branch of relatives, so being a part of that made Logan swell with happiness. He started to envision all sorts of gatherings and events, full of happy people talking about their lives and welcoming Logan into them.

"You boys have a great time, alright?" Mr. Diamond said as he led James and Logan to the front door.

"Have you ever been on a plane?" Mrs. Diamond asked Logan. He shook his head. "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah, of course."

"It's totally safe. You'll be fine," she reassured him.

Logan nodded stiffly. Mrs. Diamond gave him a tight hug and patted him on the back. "You're a wonderful person, you know that?" she whispered.

James kissed Logan on the top of the head. "He is," he confirmed. "He really, really is.

"Well…" Logan mumbled, feeling on the spot. His face lit up.

"Heheh I think we'll get out of here, okay?" James said. He gave his mother another hug and patted his dad on the arm. "Great to see you both."

"Same," said Mr. Diamond. "Take care."

James waved over his shoulder and took Logan back to his car. They got in and drove back home, feeling great. Logan bounced up and down in his chair.

"Happy?" James asked, sneaking peeks over at his fiancé from time to time.

"Yeah! I'm gonna have a family again!" Logan cheered. "I'm not alone anymore."

"Baby you'll never be alone as long as you live."

They parked on the street by their apartment building and got out. Right as James was locking up, his phone pinged. He took Logan to the crosswalk, looking at his phone.

"Who is it?" Logan asked.

"Kendall," said James. He pushed the button to cross. "Asking when we'll be home."

"Why does he care?"

"I dunno."

The crosswalk light when on they stepped out onto the street. James giggled, looking at the phone, as Logan trailed behind with his hand on James's arm. The phone pinged once more.

"Oh my God," James said. "Logan, Kendall and Carlos got…"

Something strange happened at that moment. Suddenly Logan was almost able to feel time stop. He heard people cry out and the brakes of a car squeal. It wasn't right.

In that short moment, Logan could tell that there was a problem. It was familiar. _It wasn't right_.

Within just two seconds, Logan was able to detect a serious disaster coming. James was distracted.

All at once, Logan threw both of his hands out in front of himself and smacked James on the back, throwing him forward and to the ground. James landed on his arm, tearing his jacket and skin. His phone went flying and shattered on the ground.

Logan fell down, too. But it wasn't from anybody's hands. It was from the car that ran the light.


	28. Of Angels

James's fall knocked the wind out of him. He quickly got up, clutching his injured arm and saw Logan lying on the asphalt in front of a car.

"LOGAN!" he screamed, scrambling to his side. He crumbled next to his fiancé and picked him up into his arms. "Logan? Logan?"

The driver of the sedan got out of the car, holding her hands to her face. "Oh God, is he, oh God, I didn't even…"

James looked at her with fire in his eyes. "SHUT UP AND CALL AN AMBULANCE!" he screamed, crying. "Logan…Logan! Don't! Don't leave me!" He held Logan close to his chest, cupping his face in his hand. He was breathing but unresponsive. James's tears plopped down onto Logan's face. He didn't even want to see where Logan was hurt.

The sirens grew louder and louder until an ambulance approached. James held onto Logan's hand as they put him on the gurney and took him away. It felt like an impossibly long journey to the hospital and Logan stayed out of it the entire time.

"Stay here," James whispered. "Stay with me."

One of the EMTs saw the engagement ring on Logan's hand, which James was holding and touching gently. "Are you married?" she asked.

"Almost." James smiled. "We will be in March."

"That's sweet. You know I can't diagnose, but his external damage seems very minimal."

James looked at Logan's face and sighed. There was a scrape on his temple but that was all he could see. He held his hand until they got to the hospital and was forced to wait alone.

"He's stable," the nurse said to James after Logan had been moved to his own room. "But still unconscious. We don't know when he'll come to. It's hard to tell exactly what's going on this early."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure. Just in here."

James followed her into the small room. Logan was hooked up to a few tubes and things, lying on the bed, still looking fast asleep. There was a bandage on his temple now, but he looked alright other than that. James's heart dropped when he saw him.

"I just want him to be alright," he said softly.

"We do, too," replied the nurse.

James stepped over to the bedside and took Logan's hand again. There was little feeling in it. He held the fingers and squeezed just gently.

"The worst part," James said, tearing up now. "Is how this was his greatest fear. He lived indoors for years, terrified that if he left, there would be another accident. It's…"

"Sorry," the nurse said. "It just happens sometimes. You can stay as long as you'd like, alright?"

"Thank you."

She spread the curtain around the bed shut and then the door closed. James turned back to Logan and stared at him for some time. "Don't die on me," he whispered. "I can't go on without you. I need you in my life."

Just the heart monitor beeped. The room had that stale odor of hospital mixed with fear.

"How did you know?" James spoke. "How did you know that car was going to hit me? How did you manage to save me…how did you manage to save Kendall's life, and _my _life? How does this happen?"

He looked on as Logan's chest rose and sank with his very slow breathing. Nothing else moved; he was very far away. James still wondered if he could at least hear him, whether or not he responded.

"If I hadn't pressured you into leaving your apartment," he then whispered to his unconscious lover. "This never would have happened….it should have been me."

* * *

James fell asleep in the chair, holding onto Logan's hand still. He was awakened in the morning by a doctor. "We need to run a few more brain scans, so we'll be taking Mr. Mitchell out of here," he explained to James.

"Oh, okay. When will you be done?"

"A few hours' time I guess. Would probably be a good chance for you to get home and relax a little while, alright?"

"Sounds fair."

James didn't want to leave, but there were definitely things he had to get done. First he went by a Verizon store and got a new phone, since his had broken during the accident. It was the least of his worries at this point, but it was crucial that he be accessible. He had already called out of work and school so that was a non-issue. He went home to see how Kendall and Carlos were.

"How is he?" Kendall asked as soon as James came home.

"Unresponsive."

"Ohhh," the two boys sighed at the same time.

James looked tired, worn out, frazzled and stressed as one could imagine. Regardless, he looked at his roommates and tried to smile. "Happy for you guys, though."

"Yeah well," Kendall said. They both picked up their left hands and showed him the matching silver bands. "We decided it was stupid to beat around the bush and just got hitched."

"And come March, we'll all be married," James said with a sad smile. He walked off to his bedroom and packed a few things into a bag. When he came out, Kendall and Carlos were still on the sofa in the same position, looking back at him.

"I gotta get back over there," said James.

"Really? The _whole _time?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah. I _have _to. See ya later."

He left then and ran down to his car. Of course they wouldn't be done with their tests by then, but James had to be there as much as possible incase Logan came out of his unconsciousness. He didn't want him to feel alone at any point. So when he got there he immediately went to Logan's empty room and waited.

"Still no change," the doctor said as he brought his patient back. James looked on with sadness. "Appears to be a low-grade coma. I except him to wake up soon, but nothing is certain. Are you his brother?"

"Fiance."

"Ahhhh. I'm sorry you have to deal with this."

"It's alright," James said softly.

"If you need anything, just ring for the nurse." The doctor smiled and left the room. James looked back at Logan and sighed. He couldn't help but feel guilty. If he hadn't accepted the initial job of taking care of him, none of this would have happened. It didn't do any good to pass blame though.

He reached into the bag he had brought and took out that stuffed polar bear that Logan loved so much. He placed it between the blind boy's arms and shaped him to hold it up, then James touched his cheek softly. Logan looked peaceful; his breathing was steady and his eyes didn't rattle.

James sat there doing nothing for about an hour. He was happy just watching his fiancé, hoping that perhaps he could sense his presence beside him. Soon though, his thoughts began to whirl up and he had to get some air. He walked out of the room and tread down the hospital hallway. As he approached the elevator, a door closing on the corner caught his attention. It had a sign that read, "PRAYER ROOM." It had been ages since James went to temple, but he thought maybe now was a good time to catch up. Careful not to disturb anyone, he quietly opened the door and stepped in. There were a few short rows of pews and an altar of Jesus Christ at the front. Two stained-glass windows ran along the side, letting in a bit of colorful light. There was just one older woman sitting in the room, and she looked oddly familiar. James walked alongside her. She was bent over a rosary in her hands, looking down.

"Holly?" James asked. Yes, that's who it was. Logan's old neighbor. She perked up and caught James's eyes right away.

"The boy from the apartment next door," she said quietly. "I wouldn't expect to find you here."

"How are you?" James asked.

"Oh, it's my husband you know," Holly went on to explain. "Another dastardly round of APHIB and he's back here. Oh, my. He certainly has had his share of heart trouble, that is for sure."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It's alright, dear. How is your boy?"

"He's…" James swallowed hard. Maybe it was something about the silent beauty of the altar room, but he started to cry. "He's in a coma."

"A coma? How so?" Holly put her thin hand on James's arm and touched him lightly.

"He was hit by a car."

"Ohh my," the woman gasped. "I'm so sorry."

"I feel like it's my fault," James sobbed.

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"I was the one who wanted him to leave the apartment. I encouraged him to get out. I worked with him to fight his fears. But in the end, the thing that scared him the most somehow happened again.

"Holly, he knew a car was going to hit us, somehow, and he pushed me out of the way. Even being blind, he managed to save my life."

"Ahhh," Holly sighed. A smile stretched across her old face. "Then Mrs. Rumple was right."

"Who's that?" James asked, sniffing.

"The woman who lived right next to him, on the other side. When Logan moved in, Mrs. Rumple said to me, 'There's a little angel living next door. Doubt you'll see him, though. Angel's need to save their energy.'"

James let more tears roll down his face. It was true. Logan _was _a little angel. Everything about him was amazing and incredible, as if he was here for a higher reason. Holly gave the young man a hug and patted him on the back. James did not resist. It was very welcome.

"God has funny ways of working out," she said. "This sort of puzzle is like a test of true love. I should know, as my husband and I have both been through this many a time. If you can stay by him and carry him through, it is the ultimate proof that you love him."

James slipped his arms off of the woman and sat down onto the pew. He wiped his eyes with his hands and sniffed loudly a few times.

"You're right," he said. But once he looked up to see Holly again, she was gone. "Wait!" he called out instinctively. He jumped to his feet and darted out of the prayer room quickly. He looked down the hospital corridors both ways but couldn't find her. _Damn_, he thought. _Can't be helped, I guess_.

He shrugged it off and decided to go back to Logan's room. The nurse was in there, checking his vitals.

"How is he?" James asked.

"A little more responsive," she said. James's face perked up. "But still more or less the same."

"Oh, okay."

The nurse packed up and left James alone with his fiancé one more. He plopped down on the chair beside him and took his hand. He touched the engagement ring and began to daydream about the wedding. He saw it as a great big event, full of his extended family and friends. Something local, maybe. But then reality set in once more and he gazed at Logan sadly.

"Please wake up," James whispered. He rested his head down on the thin mattress and nuzzled against Logan's arm. "Please, please wake up," he said once more before a hazy, nappy sleep overtook him.


	29. Light

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

_Beep…_

James dozed off for about an hour, and he came to with the hospital sounds still present. He had forgotten all about where he was and it was very daunting to wake up there. He rolled his head over and glanced up at Logan. He was still asleep. James put his fingers up against Logan's lips and touched gently. "Baby," he whispered. "Wake up, baby." It was a little desperate, a little hopeful. He had a wish inside his heart that Logan would wake up soon and everything would be alright. It could happen, it could.

He decided to go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. It was a nice dining area; a large square of clean seats sat beyond a long row of eateries. There were even some fast food chains down there. James teetered up behind a group of young women in scrubs who stood in line at a hot food counter. They were chatting about a famous hospital drama that was in the middle of a new season, and how it was actually nothing like the real job. James ordered a plate of beef stew and macaroni salad, which he presently paid for and disappeared into a far corner of the dining hall with. It was relatively empty down there. He put his elbows on the table and slowly ate into his dinner. Okay, the food was really good, but it didn't have any feeling to it. Eating was useless if Logan wasn't next to him. He closed his eyes and imagined his fiancé sitting there, fumbling with a spoon as he tried to eat the stew.

After he finished eating, James dragged himself back up to the room. As he stepped inside, he saw that Logan was now on his side, curled up in a fetal position around the plush polar bear. _Wait a minute_, James thought to himself. He walked to Logan's side and gently, softly laid the back of his fingers on the blind boy's cheek.

"Logan?" he whispered. "Logan, are you up?"

"Mmrrrpphhhrrrphhh…"

He stirred.

He mumbled.

He made noise!

James immediately pressed the button for the nurse. "Logan?" he asked, louder this time. He squat down beside the bed and touched his face more. "Are you in there?"

"…James…is that you…" Logan's sweet, sing-songy voice muttered in a hoarse tone. He lifted his arm and tried to grope around. When he fell onto James's hand, he clutched it tightly. "James…"

"Oh, Logan. You're awake. Oh my God." James immediately began to cry. He held onto his lover's hand tightly, but soon let go and gave him a hug. "How do you feel?"

"Okay I guess," Logan mumbled.

"Mr. Diamond?" the nurse called out as she came into the room.

"He's awake," James said immediately. He looked back at her, smiling with many tears in his eyes. "He's awake."

"Oh! Let me get the doctor."

"Where am I?" Logan asked in a whisper.

"Hospital."

"Did Kendall try to kill himself again?"

"No, no. _You _are in the hospital."

Logan's fluttery eyes bat a couple times and rolled around as usual. "Why?"

"You…oh, you don't remember, do you?"

"We had dinner with your parents. But then I forget."

For a moment, James almost considered lying to Logan. His greatest fear was being in another car accident, and it would be humane in a way, given the chance, to avoid him ever knowing. But that wasn't fair and it wasn't right.

"You were hit by a car," James said sadly.

"…what?"

"I don't know how you knew it, but, a car came at us and you pushed me out of the way."

The doctor came in. He looked Logan over, very pleased that he had woken up and was fully functional. They had to keep him a bit longer for observation, but once he was cleared as safe to go, he was discharged. Of course he was still on a strict order of bed rest and was prescribed a whole medicine cabinet of drugs, but nothing could make James happier than to be with his favorite person once more. The nightmare was over. They were going home.

But James noticed something different about Logan; as they drove, he wasn't tense. He wasn't scared. He didn't grip the door handle of the car, half expecting to die. He was much calmer. James didn't ask why. There was no need to.

When they finally made it back to their apartment, James hoisted Logan up onto his back and walked inside with him. It seemed that Carlos and Kendall were out.

"Are you hungry?" James asked.

"No, not really. Tired, though."

"How are you tired?"

"Dunno."

They stood in the middle of the living room, embracing each other. James nuzzled against Logan's head and sighed, still a little sniffly. "I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered.

"I can't die," Logan said. "I have too much to get done here."

"Oh, you know? I ran into your old neighbor at the hospital," James said. "I should probably tell her that you're okay." He took out his phone and pulled up the number of the concierge of the old apartment building. He dialed it out and soon a woman answered.

"Yes, I was wondering if you could give me the number of the tenant at 416."

"416?" The concierge answered, sounding surprised. "416 doesn't have a tenant. It's been on the market for over a year now. Did you want the number for the realtor?"

"Oh…um…no, that's alright. Thanks." James hung up with a mystified look on his face. What the hell? That was a card he did not expect to have dealt to him.

Logan stumbled off to their bedroom while he was on the phone. "You going to bed already?" James called out.

"Yeah…I'm exhausted."

James ran up behind him and opened the door. They undressed together and slipped beneath the covers, finally feeling normal and at peace again. James held Logan tight against his chest. "I missed you so much," he said. "Did you dream or anything?"

"No. It's just a blank space."

"Ohh, baby. It must be so scary."

"You know what?" Logan said, smiling coyly as usual. "I'm not scared. I feel alright about it. 'Cause you're here and I know nothing bad can happen. It's all good."

"That's wonderful," James whispered. He kissed Logan several times, now feeling sleepy himself. "We'll do something fun tomorrow. Maybe start picking out invitations or something."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Thank you for being there." They both fell asleep before anymore words could be said.

* * *

Logan had a soft dream that night. He was walking in a large auditorium that was filled with folding chairs. There was only one person sitting in it, somewhere near the middle. He ran up to them and saw that it was his mother.

"Logan," she said, smiling. "I've missed you."

"Mama?" Logan asked. It was very oddly realistic.

"And I'll continue to miss you," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Let James take care of you. Don't worry about us. We'll wait. We don't mind. We love you, and we love James."

"Mama…" Logan began to cry.

"Don't, honey. Don't cry. Everything is fine. I'm going to make everything right, okay?"

"O-okay."

And then it was over and morning rolled in. It was calm and cold out as the sun began to rise. James and Logan were both happy to be in each other's arms again, finally. The sound of a small bird chirping just outside of the window filled the room with a subtle peace. Logan stirred softly, and three little stars twinkled on the mattress. Three sparkly, tiny little stars. Logan wiggled his fingers and the stars danced like diamonds.

Wait.

He had to wiggle his fingers again, and once more the stars danced. What was this? All at once, it dawned on him.

"JAMES! JAMES! JAAAMES! JAAAAMES!" Logan began to scream at the top of his lungs. James of course immediately shot up in bed and grabbed Logan by the shoulders. "What's wrong? Baby, what's wrong?" He asked desperately. He looked at Logan's face. His eyelids opened and the usual fluttering of the pupils was not there. They somehow managed to focus on him.

"I…" Logan whispered. The room fell silent, even the bird outside. Logan slowly raised his hands up and touched James on the face, perfectly. Their breathing grew louder. James stared into Logan's eyes and continued to say nothing. They both knew what was going on and words wouldn't help. Logan's fingers began to trace outlines all over James's face, confirming what he always imagined to be a beautiful person. He ran across his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, across his lips and around his chin. Tears began to fall from Logan's eyes. He cupped James's face in both of his hands and brought his lips up to his. They shared a long, passionate, loving kiss. When they withdrew, James began to say, "You can…" But Logan interrupted him with a nod.

"Only about half, I think. It's blurry up here."

"How is this even possible?"

"I don't know…"

"Oh, Logan," James cooed. He held the back of his head with care, coddling him close. "I never thought this day would come."

"You're as beautiful as I dreamed you were," Logan said. "I…" but he couldn't keep talking. He broke into tears now and flung himself against James's chest. It was too much to take in.

"It's okay," James hummed. "Everything's going to be okay."

Logan looked out of the window and saw the beautiful day ahead of him. He clung to James and knew that everything was, in fact, going to be okay.


	30. This is forever

_The earliest memory I have is sitting in the living room of my old house with my mother. I must have been wicked little, since the only dialogue I can remember is my mother bending over to me and saying, "baby!"_

_That's it. That's all I can recall. I think it's interesting how our minds can dive so far back in our history that we bring up these tiny memories. Memories that meant nothing at the time, but everything today. Life is so precious and short, it's important to find people who really make you happy. _

_I spent a lot of time being sad about the loss of my family. I wanted to see them again, I wanted to be near them. But in the end, I realized that it was alright to let go. They were in a better place, and I was, too. We need to move on and find new people to bring us joy, because there is always that person right around the corner, even if you don't believe it, who will give you everything you ever dreamed of._

* * *

The sun was setting over a vast expanse of ocean, flecking the water with lines of golden light. A few sailboats dotted the horizon, floating peacefully in the current. The sky was perfectly cloudless. God himself could not shape a better end to any day.

Along the still warm sand, two sets of footprints made a line running close to the water. Every ten steps or so, the smaller feet moved around and there were some handprints, too, before they got back up on their way. There would be a crab or piece of something interesting around the points where they had squat down. It was just how Logan was exploring the world; like a child. He walked alongside the Florida coast holding hands with James. It was the first time he had ever been to a beach, so everything was exciting. And it had only been a few months since his vision came back, so one could imagine the sense of exploration and joy that he felt regardless of the honeymoon.

James held a martini in his freehand as he teetered across the sand next the Logan. There was a plastic bag hanging from his arm that Logan was filling with a plethora of seashells picked from the beach. They continued at a slow pace until Logan suddenly dropped down to his knees once more. "Look!" he shouted, smiling, and brandished a thin finger to the sand. James squint and saw the skeleton of a sand dollar sitting on the ground.

"What is that?" he asked.

"I dunno," Logan replied, poking at the thin white thing. "A shell or something?"

James shrugged but opened the bag up. "Put it in. We can look it up or ask someone, maybe." Logan nodded and delicately lifted the sand dollar off of the ground and slid it into the bag.

"I think that's enough, right?" James asked upon feeling the weight of the bag.

"Probably," Logan said. He stood up on his feet once more and took James's hand in his. "This is so cool."

"What is?"

"Being here."

"Yeah!" James flashed a sparkling smile at his husband and sighed. He looked out over the ocean, so fucking thankful that Logan was able to see it. "Look out there," he said, taking Logan's shoulders and turning him to face the sea. They stood there in silence as a sailboat slowly made its way in front of the setting sun. The sky began to turn pink. James put his drink down on the sand and slipped his arms around Logan's waist. He nuzzled his nose against the crook of the shorter man's neck and kissed him softly. A soft, cute moan fell out of Logan's mouth as he rocked his head to the side and closed his eyes. Logan rose up his left hand and touched James's. The thin, silver bands that identically sat on their ring fingers sparkled in the evening sunlight.

"I love you," James whispered.

"I love _you_," Logan replied. "I never thought I could be this happy."

"Mmmmmh me neither."

Logan turned his head and met James in a kiss. It was a tame, chaste kiss, but full of passion nonetheless. Their love for each other radiated like the sunset over the ocean; it was endless, powerful, amazing and pure. This was a love that blended into lifetimes to come. A love that made miracles.

"Ready to get back to the hotel?" James whispered.

"Yeah."

"I want to fuck you bad."

"Okay."

James picked up his almost empty glass and they made their way back to the hotel. It was practically night by the time they got back into the room. Logan yawned after the door closed. "I'm so sleepy," he said.

"How come?"

"The plane was scary."

"Not that bad. You'll get used to it."

"Well, I dunno if I'll be going on another one anytime soon."

James walked into the kitchenette and took two beers from the little fridge. He tossed one at Logan, who immediately cracked it open and started to drink.

"You will," James said, casually.

"Eh, what?"

The taller of them smiled, eyes twinkling, as he opened his beer and came into the common area of the room. Logan was confused. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

James didn't answer yet. He sauntered to the window by the bed and put his elbows on the sill. Night was starting to come out. People were walking along the boardwalk. Bright lights were turning on. There was a time in James's life where he would spend about an hour getting ready, "just perfect" and then leave for the nightlife, not to come home until the early morning. He would stay out, picking up guys, getting drunk, doing all of that. But not anymore. There was no need for that. He had the most amazing thing that anybody could ask for, ever.

He looked over his shoulder and gazed at Logan lovingly. Logan stepped slowly behind him, still looking downright confused. "What…are you talking about?" he asked once more.

James took a tiny sip of his beer and turned his attention out of the window again. His cheeks turned red, maybe from the alcohol, maybe from the romance, maybe from nothing. "I booked us a cruise," he finally said. Logan tried not to drop the can of beer in his hand.

"What?" he spat out.

"I booked us a cruise," James repeated. "A Mediterranean cruise. For the summer."

Logan laid the side of his face upon James's strong back. He sighed, smiling, and hugged him with one arm.

"I know how you always wanted to see that place," James continued. "So I thought, now's the perfect time, right?"

"Uh huh," Logan whispered. His happiness was overwhelming.

"I invited Carlos and Kendall, but they'll be too busy."

"Ahh, just like this trip," Logan sighed. He was disappointed that their best friends declined the invitation down to Florida.

"Hey, they have a good excuse," James said. He turned around and took Logan in his arms now.

"I guess."

"Shit, I even told them to bring Eleanor with them."

"Is it safe for pregnant women to go on planes?"

"I guess so. But they still said no."

"Stupid family," Logan grumbled.

"Hey, don't say that," James said. He brushed his nose through Logan's fine, dark hair, inhaling his intoxicating scent. "Doesn't it give you any ideas?"

"Like what?"

"Well, like, you know…Carlos and Kendall got married, found a surrogate mother. We got married…"

Logan started to giggle. He looked up at James with his chocolate eyes and smiled. "I see what you're hinting at."

"Well?"

"Not yet," Logan said. "I'm not even totally adjusted to taking care of myself, let alone a baby. But someday, definitely. Yeah. We'll have a family someday."

"I'd like that," James whispered. He finished off the beer and snatched Logan by the waist, hoisting him into the air.

"Aaaye!" Logan called out, squirming a bit.

"Let's go to bed!" James yelled. He carried Logan over to the bed and laid him down gently. He climbed up on top of him and began to kiss, wet and intense.

"Wait," Logan said. He put his index finger over James's lips.

"Hm?"

"I don't want to have sex."

"Why's that?"

"It's too amazing," Logan said.

"Huh?"

"Being here, just like this. It's too amazing. Let's have sex in the morning. Is that okay?"

"I guess." James reluctantly rolled off of his husband and cuddled up next to him. He tried to make his boner go away. "I don't totally understand, though."

"I just want to relax and be near you. I don't want to fuck."

"Alright."

James kissed Logan on the cheek and held him close. They snuggled up real tight and closed their eyes. Maybe Logan was right. It was nice just to be holding each other and relax. They had a whole lifetime of having sex together, but it was the only first night of their trip they would have like that. The window was open and light air blew in. Logan nuzzled James's chest and sighed in utter content. This was perfect. His life was perfect. Everything was fucking perfect.

"Thank you, James," Logan whispered, even though his husband had already fallen asleep. "Thank you."

~the end~


End file.
